Blind love: not seeing what a person is really like

Love is a feeling that we all experience at some point. We all have different ways of loving, because each person expresses themselves differently with the person they love. Thus, there are different forms of love: love for a couple, love for a brother, love for a child, love for parents, for a family member, love for friends, love for what we do… And each of these loves can be blind love.

However, sometimes we can have a love without limits, in which we make the other person a being without defects, whom we deeply admire. We marvel at everything he does, and he becomes someone essential in our lives. So, without this person we might feel like we would be nobody.

So, Sometimes we can love a person so much that we are not able to see what they really are. What we do is create a kind of distorted reflection in our mind. It is about blind love, a love in which we can idealize the person we love and give everything for them, forgetting about ourselves. Here we tell you what that love can be like, we will focus on the blind love of couple relationships.

Blind love: when we idealize the person we love

Sometimes we don’t see what the person we are with is really like. This blindness may be a product of idealization: We believe that the person we love is perfect and we might even stop seeing “their human side.” We exaggerate its qualities, failing to value our own, in order to say that it is perfect. We feel good because we are facing someone incredible and often unattainable.

Sigmund Freud proposes that idealization consists of us overestimating someone, whether consciously or unconsciously. Furthermore, idealization is a defense mechanism, that is, a way we use to appease what ails us. Then we give a lot of value to the other person, to mitigate our anxieties.

Through this defense mechanism we cover part of our needs, we stop feeling alone or unmotivated because we see the other person as a complement. And, that love fills everything we needed. We can have that love as a couple or not, Idealization does not have to do with being physically next to someone, but with how we overvalue the person in love.

Blind love, love at all costs

The idealization of the other, along with an undervaluation of one’s own, causes many people to give too much in their relationships.. This unmeasured dedication can end up overwhelming the other or, when there is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, facilitating their perverse plan.

When we give everything we have to others, placing ourselves at the bottom of the hierarchy, we are completely unprotected.. If we have good luck, nothing will happen to us, but if we come across someone with less than noble interests, we could have a very bad time. We do not worry about who we are and what we want to be and do, because we live for the other. Even if the person has interests different from ours, we put aside what we want and do everything the person says or wants.

When I love you more than me

This type of love could be summed up in the phrase: “You are more important to me than me.” In other words, when the loved person takes precedence for us, an imbalance occurs.. The characteristics that could arise as a result of this situation are the following:

Forget what we are.Allow the other to pass over us.Cause our self-esteem to decrease. Not knowing what to do if the other person is not there.Live each other’s lives.

All this can happen when we put others above ourselves. On the other hand, many times this putting above is not a conscious decision, nor even an interest. On many occasions it is about the other person not knowing how to say no to the other person’s requests that they cannot assume.. Either because it is very large, because they are very frequent requests or because it does not have the necessary resources to respond appropriately.

I’m in love with love

There can also be blind love when we are in love with love. What does this mean? When we have an idea in our heads that love is the most wonderful thing that can exist. And, we want to have love regardless of the answers to the most important questions. As? With who? Under what circumstances?

When we fall in love with love, we might end up not really caring which person is next to us. It doesn’t matter how it is because we will take care of generating a superimposed image that fits what we really want. In other words, we look for a relationship at all costs because we believe that that is the way to find love and have what we long for.

We are so busy fulfilling our expectations of what we dream of about love, that we stop knowing the other. We begin to imagine, and what we imagine seems fantastic to us. The fact of relating to that fantasy often ends up feeding the fantasy itself. Until the point comes where the bubble breaks and we open our eyes, somewhere between bewildered and hurt.

In this case we do not idealize the person, we idealize love. We have a great desire to do things in love, to the point that our self-esteem is involved. Thus, indirectly, the search for love in these cases, under this umbrella of thought, is a logical response to preserve or improve the image we have of ourselves.

Now, when we stop seeing the other person, we could lose the opportunity to have an authentic relationship. So, we concentrate so much on our idea of ​​love that we do not see what the other wants and we do not allow ourselves to be surprised by each moment, by living in the present moment. So, We exalt falling in love, we forget about the other and ourselves. What matters to us is fulfilling that magical love, as comfortable as it is dangerous because it lacks reality.

Love without going blind

All love is not blind. Thus, some ideas for loving without blindfolds would be:

Have a deeper connection with yourself. It is about dedicating resources that take care of your focus of attention and your internal dialogue. This way you won’t forget that you are important and unique to the people who love you. In this way, you will be able to really love someone and not a surface on which your imagination draws on a whim.Set limits. It consists of being clear about what you want and showing it to your partner. It’s about being assertive.It is important to know that in the other there are both qualities and defects. Do not dehumanize your partner, like everyone, they have bad things and good things.Don’t go beyond your possibilities. Give what you can without going over yourself. Loving another person doesn’t mean sacrificing everything.Leaving your life behind should not be an option. It is possible to love and not neglect yourself. Cultivate yourself to have something to offer others. When you love and know yourself, it can bring out the best in you. Thus, indirectly, you can also be better for others.

Loving does not make us blind, we can become blind with love. In other words, it is up to us to put on a blindfold and ignore a good part of what happens around the relationship, the person and us. Then we are the ones who can turn the matter around. To know if you have blind love, connect with yourself and be sincere, the answer is in you.

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