Why is the blame put on others?

Blaming others is very easy. And many times it is nothing more than a way of not recognizing our own mistakes, of not exercising our responsibility.

For example, it is very common to say “the taxi driver was too slow” or “there was a lot of traffic”, instead of acknowledging that we got up later than we should. Or blaming the oven for a burnt meal because “it doesn’t work well,” instead of saying that we stayed watching TV and forgot about dinner.

This happens because the mind always tries to distance itself from problems. and, above all, the blame. It is like a kind of protection against the attacks of others that, sometimes, are more a product of our fears and imagination.

Why do we blame others?

Human beings fall again and again into a typical error: looking for blame outside themselves for any problem. If we are right, it is our virtue, but if we are wrong, it will surely be the responsibility of the other..

Before saying “I was wrong,” we are likely to say it was because of bad luck, the weather, the boss, transportation, the zodiac, or the alignment of the planets. It doesn’t matter, Any excuse is good to avoid facing reality and assuming mistakes.

Of course, it is also true that there will be times when someone else is to blame and not us. In these chaos, the culprit is someone else and that’s it. But, always blaming others, when it is not always others, It prevents us from seeing our mistakes clearly and causes us to lose control of our lives..

Now, if this attitude is harmful, why do we prefer to blame others? Well, We really do it to protect ourselves from guilt and take that weight off our shoulders.. Many people do not know how to properly manage their emotions, so they decide (on an unconscious level) to avoid or suppress unpleasant emotional states, such as guilt.

According to psychologist Rafael San Román, Blaming others is a very childish mechanism.. In childhood this behavior may have an evolutionary justification to a certain extent, since admitting guilt and responsibility for something that has been done requires a lot of maturity and being able to tolerate the consequences; qualities that young children obviously do not present.

Thus, those adults who operate in this way probably have not reached sufficient emotional maturity.

The first step: accept mistakes

It is a task that is not easy at all, but it is not impossible either.. The starting point to stop blaming others is to remove the comfort of our bodies and begin to accept when we are wrong.

It is necessary to let others correct us, get rid of the layers of that great armor called pride, and above all, be honest with ourselves, so that we can then be honest with the rest of the people.

To err is human, and not only that, but it is also learning. Accepting mistakes is learning from them, and that will allow us to grow as people. But it will also help us understand others when they make mistakes and forgive them if they have affected us in some way. In the end, it is nothing more than a way to mature and take control of our lives.

Question of starting

Fortunately, the solution is within us and No one but us is the one who can reverse this unhealthy trend. to blame others for any mistake we make, no matter how small.

We can start practicing with the next mistake we make or one with one of those errors that has been repeated for a long time. Accepting that it is difficult for us to get up when the alarm clock rings, concentrate to hand in work on time, study for an exam or pay attention to food will make us feel better, internally and, consequently, externally.

Making mistakes is not synonymous with being worth less

There is a widespread belief in which it seems that when we make mistakes we think that we are worth less. The fact of making mistakes leads us to think that if we have done something wrong it is because we are not good enough and we see our own identity and self-concept in danger. And what happens when we make mistakes? In order not to accept our mistake, we blame others or circumstances. “I never fall asleep, there is a lot of traffic.” We don’t want to admit that sometimes we are unpunctual and much less do we want others to think so..

It is important to know that we can all make mistakes and that does not mean we are worth less. When we learn to drive a car we are going to break down a few times and we do not blame the car or the teacher or the weather, we know that we are the ones who still do not have proper handling of the vehicle.

The same thing happens with many other aspects of life, when we perform an action that leads to an undesired result, It is much healthier to look within than to look for blame outside. In this way, we will learn and grow as people.

Little by little, The recognition of these errors will lead us to face them and overcome them. Maybe we will even be lucky enough that the idea will “catch” and all the people around us will learn not to blame others, to say “I was wrong”, something so difficult to achieve these days, but so necessary. .

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