Why is ignoring an emotionally immature man useless?

You have met a new guy and you really enjoy their conversations.

But something tells you they may never go beyond mere flirting.

You start to realize that he might not be emotionally available, but you can’t help but be attracted to him.

Then the doubts begin: “Should I forget about him or should I go for the conquest?”

If you don’t know what to do, here is a comprehensive guide to understanding emotionally unavailable men.

So you will know what you can do when you have fallen under the spell of one of them. (Because there are many, we know)

First you need to know what are the signs that a man is emotionally unavailable.

So here they go.

1) Avoid deep conversations

Sure, he likes to flirt and make you feel superficially good.

He also likes small talk and random conversations to make you think he’s into you.

But when it comes to more serious topics, he instantly avoids them.

There’s something about deep conversations that makes him uncomfortable. It’s like he’s afraid of drowning when he explores his thoughts and emotions.

He likes to talk to you, but at the same time he keeps his distance.

And the more you try to know it deeply, the more it closes.

2) He always makes excuses and changes your plans

An emotionally unavailable man is also unavailable in other ways.

Is there a date you’ve been planning for weeks, but he always has an excuse to postpone or reschedule?

Does he avoid you for days, never responding to your chats or texts, then reappear like nothing?

If he’s physically unavailable and inconsistent in contacting you, then there’s a good chance he simply doesn’t want to invest in you emotionally.

But what if he’s just busy?

Remember, there is a fine line between having time and making time.

Someone who is emotionally ready to get to know you better and take the next step with you will make the time, despite their busy schedule.

3) He is terrified of labels

If he never makes your role in his life clear to you, then it’s a big red flag that he’s emotionally unavailable.

There are many forms and stages in a romantic relationship.

But if you don’t even want to define where you currently are and where you’re headed, chances are it won’t turn into a healthy relationship.

If your guy is stifled by labels, something is wrong with the way he processes his feelings and experiences.

You may not be emotionally ready to be with a romantic partner at all.

Why is it hard to ignore an emotionally unavailable man?

Dating an emotionally unavailable man is exactly one of those things you tell your girlfriends not to do, but when it’s your turn you just can’t get away.

These are the reasons why:

1) He’s Technically Not On The Market, But He’s Actually Single

It’s an enigma, isn’t it?

You feel that is not emotionally ready for a commitment and he may even have told you explicitly, but you know he’s still single.

There is great potential, right?

You can’t ignore the fact that he is literally available, albeit not emotionally, so you still wait for him to develop some kind of feeling for you.

Letting go could mean he could fall for another girl, and you don’t want that to happen.

So you decide to wait and see where this would go.

And even though he’s emotionally unavailable, you still hold out hope that one day he’ll realize that the two of you are right for each other.

2) You don’t want a commitment either

You totally understand where he is.

You could justify that he’s not emotionally available because he’s still not over his ex-girlfriend or because he had a traumatic experience in his past relationship.

So, you think that you will wait for him to recover because you also have some things to heal.

When you are emotionally unavailable yourself, there is a greater chance that you will attract emotionally unavailable men.

It’s the safest option for you: it’s good if it works and hopefully it doesn’t.

There is no real emotional investment from both parties.

And you’re okay with that because deep down, you’re afraid of getting hurt.

3) He sells you the fantasy of a perfect life

An emotionally unavailable man is usually simple, at first glance.

He loves to have fun, avoids drama, and lives in the moment. He sounds like an ideal guy, doesn’t he?

It makes it seem like going through life and relationships is so easy.

He shows you the best sides of his world while overlooking the negative ones.

It makes you forget that love and commitment are necessary ingredients for a relationship to work.

And guess what: it lacks both.

But you’re already trapped in the illusion of a perfect life with him. You find yourself dreaming of a future you haven’t even talked about and fantasizing about being together.

That’s why you can’t just ignore him and let him go, even though you know he’s emotionally unavailable.

4) You love to flirt

It’s no secret that many women love the thrill of the seduction stage.

You are attracted to what you do not have. You go for the thrill of uncertainty.

Dating an emotionally unavailable man probably feels like a game to you, even if you don’t want to admit it.

If you conquer it, you win.

That’s when flirting becomes a power play to see who gives in first.

You are testing the waters to see if this emotionally unavailable man will ever be emotionally ready for you.

But the truth is, he loves the chase too, and soon you’ll be the one losing the game.

And it’s only a matter of time until you realize that you want something more, but for him it’s just a superficial game.

5) You think you can change or “fix” it

First of all I am going to tell you that nobody needs to be “fixed” and that this will never be your function towards others.

This is another thing that women are very good at: romanticizing the idea of ​​transforming a person and believing that he can change for her.

You are staying with this emotionally unavailable man because you think he is going to change for you.

You are thinking that one day he will wake up and realize that he has feelings for you.

Therefore, you put all your effort into your open-ended, unlabeled relationship in the hope that he will reciprocate your feelings.

But get this: if he doesn’t want to change at all, you can move heaven and earth and nothing will happen.

If he doesn’t recognize his emotional block as something that needs to be fixed, then there’s nothing you can do about it.

Be careful though, because being with an emotionally unavailable man can turn into a difficult and abusive relationship if feelings are at stake.

Things can get toxic when only one party is investing emotionally and the other is not.

Why ignoring an emotionally immature man is useless

Many times it has been said that to conquer a man the key is to let him chase you. And in part this may be true.

So, ignore him as a strategy to seduce him may come to your mind as a good idea.

But you should know that it won’t work.

Because?

Simply because their mechanisms are not what you would normally expect from an emotionally mature person.

The fact that you ignore him will surely be indifferent to him.

In the end, he doesn’t want anything serious. And if you don’t accept his intricate conditions, surely there will be other girls who do.

Do not succumb to its charms. If he is not willing to give you what you want, why should you do it for him.

You must put yourself as a priority. Do what you know is best for you.

On the other hand, I was never very much in favor of games and strategies in the field of love.

In my opinion if you can’t be authentic and have good results, it’s not for you.

What can you do when an emotionally unavailable man comes into your life?

You probably love the seduction and the thrill of getting liked by an emotionally unavailable man. But you know this has to end at some point.

Let me ask you this: do you really want to be with a guy who is distant, unapproachable, and doesn’t care about your feelings?

If you have decided that it is best to end your relationship with him, but you do not know how to do it, here are some measures that you can take.

1) Do not idealize it

You may have a hard time getting out of the relationship because you constantly look on the bright side and hope that one day he will change.

This is the first thing you should break.

Instead of always focusing on the positives, look at the negatives.

Think if he never prioritizes you, if he puts your needs before you.

Remember the instances where he did things that he knew would hurt you. The times he stood you up or canceled at the last minute.

It could be that he even seduced a girl knowing that you were at the same party. Of course, it is that you did not have anything serious. Trust me, you have to learn to recognize limits.

Let go of the handful of good things he did for you and look at the thousands of times he’s let you down.

That’s when you’ll realize you deserve so much more than a guy who can’t emotionally commit.

2) Eliminate contact with him

If you are one of those who always want to maintain good ties, this will be your biggest challenge.

It is very important that you delete his number, ignore his texts and calls, and even delete the guy from your social media so that you can finally move on.

If you keep talking to him, he might try to manipulate you once more, he will talk to you gently so that you have almost, but not quite, a relationship with him.

And you may never get out of this vicious cycle.

Remember your goal: forget about the boy.

Every woman has a different way of going forward, but this step is definitely a big help.

Practice self-control when it comes to him. Just stop communicating with him because it’s not worth it.

3) Focus on yourself

An emotionally unavailable man knows how to attract you. It will make you dependent on him and keep you coming back for more. You may start to believe that he is all you need.

Yes, there will be times when you will miss him and want to communicate with him, but don’t give in to the temptation.

Instead of calling it out, meditate or reflect on this situation.

What have you learned from this relationship? What do you need to change?

What things should you look for in your future relationships? What are the red flags to avoid?

Better yet, have a relationship with yourself first.

Do not look for your self-esteem in other people.

Validate yourself. Remember that you are lovable regardless of your relationship status.

If you love yourself, you know what you are worth and what you deserve.

Go on lots of dates, pamper yourself, shop with all your heart, and do things that make you happy.

The happiness and love that you have will surely radiate and attract the right man for you.

4) Stop justifying it

It will definitely be hard to let go if you keep rationalizing his actions. Women tend to be…