The 23 proven ways to win over a shy guy

Although most men today seem very determined, the truth is that there are also shy guys.

They avoid the spotlight, can be eerily quiet, and blush easily.

But if you like that shy guy more than as a friend, getting him to move can be a challenge.

And the problem is that sometimes they take so long to do something to show they like you that you can start to doubt it.

First, in order to move a guy forward, you have to understand how he thinks and feels. Once you understand it, he will open up in ways you would never imagine.

First: you must know if he is shy or introverted

When it comes to being shy, we often think of people who feel uncomfortable during social events like parties, or who panic at the thought of giving a presentation.

And commonly, we confuse being shy with introverts, but they are far from the same.

shy people: They avoid social situations because they don’t know how to connect with other people, or they are dealing with anxiety or fear of being judged.
Introverted people: Introverts crave being alone because it helps them feel energized, and being in noisy, social situations can overstimulate them.

So why are some guys so shy, to the point of being paralyzed?

Shyness can come from:

Being afraid of rejection or judgment, Feeling self-conscious, Having low self-esteem, Potentially having a negative self-image

So, you may take a guy for being shy because he is nervous around girls or because he lacks confidence and courage. But there is much more going on under the surface.

But that doesn’t mean shy guys don’t make good partners; they can be the most understanding and caring men, once they open up to you.

The bottom line is that they need a little understanding and patience first to get comfortable with you.

With that in mind, your shy guy may have already hinted that he’s interested in you, or they’ve even started dating.

At some point you feel that there is something between you. But you are also aware that because of his shyness it could be years before he does something about it.

So without further ado, let’s get straight to the ways you can get your shy guy to finally take the plunge:

23 Ways To Win A Shy Guy And Get Him To Finally Move On

1) Make eye contact… but not too much

This is the important thing with eye contact:

It is the perfect sign to let him know that you are interested in him. But be careful, you don’t want to scare him.

A shy guy may already be nervous about making eye contact with you, so avoid looking into his eyes for too long, otherwise you could end up making him uncomfortable.

All you need to do is let the gaze linger for a few seconds, even flash him a small smile, and then carry on with what you were doing…he’ll get the message.

2) Talk to him about the things that interest him

Do you find it difficult to make him open up to you? Perhaps the conversation is not flowing as much as you expected?

The key here is to get him to talk about his passions and hobbies.

Find out what gives him an adrenaline rush, what sports he plays, or if he’s a complete fan of books; ask him which is his favourite.

The more you focus the conversation on topics that interest him and have a lot to say about, the more he will naturally open up to you.

3) Be prepared to talk more

Even though you want him to open up to you, you should be prepared for some awkward silences.

You see, a shy person doesn’t reveal everything right away, they usually open up more and more as they get to know you.

So it’s only natural that you don’t always flood the conversation with your thoughts and ideas, and that’s where you need to step in and keep the flow going.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t ask him a few questions from time to time so you don’t lose focus, it’s about finding a good balance.

4) Ask open questions

When you ask personal questions, make sure they are open-ended (so avoid questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”).

For example:

Instead of saying, “Do you like to travel?”

You can ask, “What do you like best about traveling?”, and you will instantly have to expand on the topic, which will get you talking a bit more.

5) Avoid questioning him

You want to make sure that the talk doesn’t turn into a question and answer session. You don’t want him to feel like he’s the center of attention all the time.

Simply put, there will be times when they go silent, but that’s not always a bad thing.

So ask questions here or there, if it goes with the flow of the conversation, but if it doesn’t, don’t force it (and certainly don’t insist on questions about topics he’s reserved about).

Ultimately, if you’re a very shy person, you’ll probably enjoy having someone to relax with and not need to fill the space all the time.

6) Don’t rush or pressure him

You want him to make a move, but he ignores all the signs and takes all the time in the world?

You start to wonder should you talk to him and ask him if he likes you or not.

All the other signs are there, but he just won’t cross that invisible line.

When dealing with a shy guy, you have to let him do things on his own time.

If you push him into a conversation about it, you could end up undoing any advances you’ve made.

It’s best to let him know you like him and he’ll make a move when he feels ready.

7) Understand their shyness

Another easy way to get him to make a move is to understand him and to do this you must understand his shyness.

What does that mean?

It means that you shouldn’t force him into uncomfortable situations that you know he’ll hate, or bring up topics that will make him sweat and nervous.

By doing this, you’ll let him know that you understand him and respect him for who he is. This will make it much easier for him to move forward.

8) But never mention it

You want them to feel understood, but you don’t need to air it so everyone knows.

Chances are, if you bring up his shyness, he’ll shut up even more around you, making him self-conscious about it.

On the other hand, if he ever brings it up, just be supportive and make him feel comfortable talking to you. After all, he just wants to feel accepted for who he is.

9) Communicate in the way that is most comfortable for him

We are all different when it comes to communication.

Some people prefer to text, others want to join a video call right away. Regardless of your usual way of speaking, it’s best to go with what makes him feel most comfortable.

This is most likely texting as it takes the pressure out of having to talk on the phone or face to face.

If that’s how he feels comfortable, go for it – the more you talk to him, the more relaxed he’ll become and potentially take action.

10) Be authentic

It is important to make this distinction.

Many times we focus so much on the person we want to conquer that we end up acting more to please than on being ourselves.

So be yourself, with your joy, confidence and bad days. If this boy is really for you, he will know how to appreciate all your colors. Plus he will give you confidence to be authentic as well.

Don’t make the mistake of pretending to be someone you are not because of him or anyone else.

11) Keep a balance between what you both like to do

On the one hand, it would be cool if you push yourself to do the things that he likes. This will help you come out of his shell, and doing activities together will strengthen your bond and his attraction to you.

But on the other hand, you also want to show him some of your personality and what you enjoy, so try to keep a balance between what you do when you date.

12) Give him enough space

You might be thinking, “If I want this to move forward, isn’t it counterproductive to give it space?”

And it makes sense, you’d love for him to fall head over heels for you and declare his love for you romantically…or even just return a simple sign that he likes you too.

But being around him 24/7 won’t do that. Because?

Because your shy guy can also be an introvert, and in that case, he’ll appreciate his time alone to calm down, think clearly, and reset his emotions.

13) Be patient

But to give him space, patience will be needed. And a lot.

But the bottom line is:

Guys like to feel in control and enjoy the conquest no matter how shy or introverted they are, so let him make a move when he feels ready instead of suffocating or pushing him.

14) Compliment him and let him know you like him

Think of it this way:

The more you praise him, and I mean genuine compliments, the more you’ll boost his confidence.

And compliments don’t have to be generic and based on looks, you can also admire their qualities as a person or their morals and outlook on life.

15) Take advantage of body language

In addition to using your body to send him signals that you like him, it’s good to be aware of how you feel when you approach him.

Try to avoid being too loud or overbearing, as this could cause him to withdraw and be unsure of how to act around you.

Instead, send out a lot of positive vibes, stay calm around him, and that will make him relax naturally.

Additionally, you can also look for a little contact and casually put your hand on his arm during the conversation as another way to encourage him to make a move.

16) Keep the conversation light and fun

When you’re chatting together, it’s a good idea to keep the topic light with playful and flirty banter.

Humor is a great way to break the ice and make him feel instantly comfortable with you.

Laughter has been shown to make you seem like a more desirable partner, so don’t hold back the jokes.

17) Don’t give up right away

As I’ve already mentioned, your shy guy needs to do things on his own time and in his own way.

But I understand that this can be tiring or frustrating because he’s not making the first move.

Don’t give up on him yet; Sometimes the best things in life are worth waiting for, and when he makes his move, you’ll be glad you waited.

18) Be her friend first

And while you wait for her to make her move, it won’t hurt to be her friend.

Be someone you can trust.

Be with him when he’s going through a rough patch.

Treat him with kindness and he will begin to realize how great you would be together as a couple.

Just don’t get “too” friendly and end up getting into the dreaded “friend zone.” That’s why always keep a touch of flirting and play.

19) Don’t be afraid to take the first step

Just because you don’t want to push him to make the first move doesn’t mean you can’t take control.

But the key is in the timing.

If you’re both in the moment and the perfect opportunity to make a move arises, but you feel like he’s not up to it, do it yourself and…