Why do we fall in love with some people and not others?

People are a fascinating conglomerate of attitudes, beliefs, emotions, desires and aspirations. Understanding why we fall in love with a specific person and not another is a challenge. which has attracted the attention of psychologists for a long time.

Emotions become embedded in our brains in ways that are difficult to understand.but they are the ones that penetrate in an implicit, and almost magical way, into ourselves, into our personality and also into our desires.

Attraction is based on needs that we are not aware of, in aspirations and desires that, suddenly, appear defined in one type of person and not in others. Let’s look at it more closely.

Why do we fall in love?

When we investigate those processes that happen in our brain when we are in love, magic perhaps loses a little of its charm. It moves to that colder world where we are determined by chemistry, by that wonderful mixture of neurotransmitters capable of causing us that well-known sensation of “being in the clouds.”

Endorphins, enkephalins and phenylethylamine are responsible for our euphoria and happiness, They are the ones who give us an injection of positive emotions and well-being. But what activates these processes, what makes our brain focus on one type of person and not another? Let’s see some of the reasons.

Family similarity

Sometimes we are attracted to people who make us feel good because they remind us, in some way, of our parents.. Something like this gives us security and confidence. We feel attraction because they are familiar to us and being with them surrounds us with a feeling of pleasant affinity.

Correspondence

Another theory is that of correspondence. According to scientists, when we fall in love it weighs a lot sharing similar experienceshaving gone through the same things, having similar tastes and values.

It is a good way to choose company for our lives, where all these aspects make our existence easier and more exciting. It is another type of very enriching affinity.

Admiration

Sometimes admiration for someone translates into love. It is that person who serves as a mirror for us, where we see virtues, aspirations or dimensions that we have always wanted for ourselves and that, in some way, we have not achieved.

It would be here, for example, where attractions appear with people who are very different from ourselves: sometimes we are attracted to self-confident, extroverted and enterprising people; while we are more insecure and somewhat shy. Opposites attract because, deep down, they complement each other and fulfill each other’s needs.

Question of chemistry, question of glands

Many studies assume the importance of so-called pheromones. They are substances secreted by some glands present in the lips, armpits, neck or groin that people perceive without realizing it thanks to an organ called vomeronasal, independent of the sense of smell. It is a smell that creates sensations, something unique in each person and that, in some way, also determines us.

These are the most common theories when it comes to talking about why we fall in love and why we feel attracted to a certain type of people. Whether the theories are correct or not is something that time and ourselves will tell us, when that blinding phase of falling in love loses its intensity, its clouds and its sparkles… making us see reality.

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