Why do we dream of an ex-partner?

Do you often dream about your ex-partner? These types of experiences are actually more common than we think. Our subconscious continues to contain fragments of a more or less significant part of our life and therefore, it is common for these memories to surface in our dream universe.

Calderón de la Barca already said centuries ago that “Life is a dream, and dreams are dreams.” Life and dream, so intertwined with each other and so inseparable that one cannot exist without the other. Thus, in this tidal wave between dreams and reality, your ex-partner continues to have a privileged position.

Dreaming about your ex-partner may not be as dramatic as you think

Sometimes we think that dreaming about an ex-partner means that we have not overcome the trance. However, it does not have to be the only explanation. In fact, there are many more reasons why this situation can occur, so do not suffer from this circumstance.

In general Dreams represent aspects of our lives that remain in our subconscious., and that we are not able to solve while awake. Now, that does not mean that the problem is an unresolved relationship with an ex.

Carl Jung once explained to us in his work The Collected Works that dreams are self-portraits in symbolic form of what happens in our unconscious.

Does this mean that Even though they appear in a dream, it does not mean that we still feel something for that couple from the past.. That is, being projected in a dream does not mean that the feelings continue to exist in the same way.

In fact, even though dreams are dreamlike representations of our subconscious, we would be wrong if we made a literal or direct interpretation of them. They are symbolic as Carl Jung pointed out to us, so They are not a faithful reflection of our inner reality.

Interpret dreams with ex-partners

Once the topic has been exposed, the psychologist Marc Rodríguez considers that Kissing an ex-partner in a dream does not imply love or feelings towards that person..

However, it can be a representation of the need to feel love or be loved. Because? Because that person is a reference for what he meant in our lives. Hence it is evoked during sleep, as a lived event, since what has not happened cannot be evoked or referred to, logically.

In this sense, think that There would not be a concern about this type of dreams if people who were once important to us did not participate in them.. However, it can be a warning that something is not right. For example, it can be an indicator that we have a relationship with another person and they do not meet our expectations.

Let’s see the possible interpretations of dreaming about our ex-partner.

Longing for how we were

For her part, the psychologist and sexologist Susana Ivorra also explains that The meaning of the dream has little or nothing to do with the person themselves, but rather with who we were at that moment.. How we felt then. In this way, if we dream of a love from years ago, it may mean that we miss our younger, less wounded or more carefree self.

It may even be that our current relationship, now more lasting and stable, is somewhat stagnant, and what we miss is that freshness of the first times, rather than the first love itself.

Close cycles

Additionally, Ivorra gives an explanation about those dreams that are not so pretty, such as, for example, those that have to do with the breakup. Especially if we were the ones who took that step.

In this case, That breakup does not only have to do with that person, but with the need to break up with something in our life.. Perhaps, at the time of dreaming, we are going through a painful moment (not necessarily related to heartbreak), but our psyche connects current emotions with painful memories from the past.

In this way, it does not mean that we have something pending with that person or that we still have feelings for them. But We are likely to find ourselves at a point in our lives where we need to close another chapter.and the mind reminds us how we faced it at the time.

Dissatisfaction

In the case of being single, for example, dreaming about a past relationship could also represent dissatisfaction.. Thus, they are dreams that, although they are usually associated with positive feelings such as love, still contain an undercurrent of melancholy.

Think that it is possible that our subconscious shows us, with each of these dream representations, that we suffer certain emotional deficiencies. In this sense, psychologist Marc Rodríguez recommends that each person hold themselves in high esteem and surround themselves with people who love them and take them into consideration.

Similar situations

We must also keep in mind that the content of our dreams is strongly influenced by our everyday experiences. Therefore, rather than having unfinished business with the past, It is very likely that we dream about our ex-partner because we experienced some situation that reminded us of them during the day.

For example, They could have told you a story very similar to your relationship, or you saw someone similar to your ex. These facts can make it easier for you, in the next few nights, to have a dream where this person appears.

AND, If this is the case, the ideal is not to give it so much importancesince dwelling on the matter so much can increase the frequency of our dreams and cause unnecessary discomfort.

Unresolved conflicts

There are relationships that went down in history and we never heard from those people again. However, other exes will still be present in our lives, especially if there are children involved. If this is your case, the fact that they continue to appear in your dreams is not so disturbing, since in one way or another that person is still present in your life.

The interpretation in this case will depend on the content of the dream: whether it was a fight or a reconciliation. In the first case, we may have an unresolved conflict with your ex and the dream is a way to help you resolve it. Therefore, it is pertinent to ask what the conflict may be and what may be causing it.

For its part, if in the dream there was a kind of reconciliation or it was peaceful, it does not mean that there are still romantic emotions involved. Most likely, your dream is trying to help you maintain a decent relationship with the ex-partner for the sake of the children.

Other meanings depending on the context of the dream

For its part, The interpretation of our dreams can vary depending on the events that occur within it.. For example, dreaming that you are getting back together with your ex may have a different meaning than dreaming that you are dating someone else. Let’s look at some scenarios.

Dreaming that your ex has a new partner

If you dream that your ex is dating someone else, It is possible that you still maintain an unconscious connection to him or her. However, before rushing to conclusions, it is important that you investigate the feelings that appeared during it. Did you feel jealous? envy? happiness?

In this sense, The emotions that dreams awaken play an important role when it comes to investigating their meaning..

Dreaming about your ex in privacy

Before you worry, keep in mind that it is normal to have erotic dreams with those with whom we have shared intimate moments. In this case, your mind may be used to recreating these moments that have disappeared after the breakupso it can evoke them unconsciously.

However, if you have a new partner and you have an erotic dream about your ex, It is possible that your mind is telling you that there is something missing in your current relationship.

Dreaming that you return to your ex

This type of dreamIt will depend a lot on the emotions and feelings that the situation unleashes. For example, if we have a pleasant feeling, we are likely to miss some aspects or experiences of our past relationship.

But, if we experience it as a nightmare, it is likely that the mind is trying to elaborate and overcome those unpleasant experiences we experienced with our ex-partner.

Dreaming that your ex breaks up with you

Another variation of these dreams is that your ex breaks up with you. In this case, if the real breakup happened a long time ago and you are dreaming that he is leaving you again, It is likely that you are currently experiencing some type of rejection and your mind searches for that previous feeling in your memories. as a way to help you face what’s coming.

Therefore, if this is your case, Ask yourself what is happening right now that makes you feel rejected.; Were you rejected from a job or a proposal?

Meanwhile, close your pending accounts

One detail seems obvious, These types of dreams, if they are especially repetitive, require us to act. Either due to emotional shortcomings or current problems, or because there are unresolved tensions with the ex-partner.

pending facts

Thus, as revealed by a study carried out by Matthew Walker and his colleagues in Sleep and Neuroimaging Lab at UC Berkeley in these dreamlike scenarios many unresolved emotional conflicts inhabit.

Perhaps one of our relationships ended badly and the resolution was not the most appropriate. In fact, These dreams can present as mild nightmares.. In these cases it could mean that there are still topics to talk about and wounds to close to bury old ghosts.

The insecurity

Another variable that usually contributes to these types of dreams is insecurity. It is normal when starting new relationships that we feel past sensations and even compare ourselves with other couples from the past.hence memories can emerge in the form of dreams.

In these cases, the dreams are usually sad, a fact that denotes insecurity, transmitted by the subconscious during your rest hours. In fact, it could even be interpreted as a wake-up call that we give ourselves unconsciously to avoid past mistakes.

How you can see, dreaming about an ex-partner does not necessarily indicate that we continue to have feelings for them, since our subconscious uses familiar faces to express internal sensations. Thus, it does not mean that there are embers left where there once was fire, they are simply reflections of the past that can teach you to reflect on your present to make everything better.

On the other hand, it will not be negative if it happens once or if it happens several times and we are able to understand the situation that the dream is trying to reflect.. In any case, never forget that dreams are symbolic representations and have more to do with what happens than with the “extras” that appear in it.

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