5 strategies to start an interesting conversation

Having a good conversation can be a challenge to overcome, especially for those who are especially shy. There are times when we want to make a good impression on our interlocutor, not bore him or avoid running out of topics by all means. All this without falling into the typical silences that seem to last an eternity.

For others, achieving this glibness costs us much more, something that can make us see ourselves as uninteresting people or who don’t know what to say. This can make us feel panic at the idea of ​​meeting new people, which in turn, creates more insecurity in us. The good thing is that all is not lost. Being a good conversationalist can be learned with some simple techniques.

Think that people who have a harder time maintaining an interesting conversation They tend to be more aware of the opinions of others. It’s not that they are less interesting or have fewer experiences to tell, but that they fear being judged if they say something “absurd” or “trivial.”

The truth is that They analyze what they are going to say much more and their filter has too high a bar: nothing seems attractive enough to them to tell and therefore they discard it. This is how, finally, they run out of topics and fall prey to the same silence they fear.

Strategies to achieve a better conversation

Before going on to analyze the strategies we could use to be better conversationalists, we must make something very clear: fear of judgment, disapproval or criticism has to be overcome. The key to achieving this is to conceive another’s opinion for what it is, an opinion: a judgment of another person that does not have to correspond to reality, since it is based on his own scale of values ​​and his particular experience.

A position that is not contrary to maintaining prudence in our participation during the different conversations in which we participate. It is not about silencing everything that goes through our mind, but about manifesting it in the appropriate ways and eliminating those parts that can cause harm unnecessarily: Prudence, not lack of assertiveness or cowardice, is a great value that helps strengthen our relationships.

The rule of how, where, why and when

There are times when the people we talk to tell us about a recent experience, for example a trip. We may not know very well how to approach the conversation and this is where we can use this rule. Ask him about what he is telling you using these four determinants: How did you go to Paris, by plane or train? Where were you? Why did you go, vacation, work…? When did you go? This way, You will increase the chances that the conversation will become passionate.

Find common ground with the interlocutor

It’s as simple as looking at his appearance and from there trying to deduce what he likes (for example, if he’s wearing a t-shirt from a rock group that you also like) or directly asking. Finding those common points are key to making the conversation more interesting and bonding. We all like people who are more like us and talking to them can be very enriching.

What if I have nothing in common?

In this sense you have an opportunity to learn! Imagine that you have to talk to someone who talks to you about plants and you have no idea. She begins to ask questions: “I have always wanted to know more about what you are telling me, what differentiates plant x from plant y?” In the end, you talk to that person and you learn something. Your interlocutor will notice that you don’t know about the topic, but that you are interested and this also links you.

Take an interest in their life (but with discretion)

To almost everyone, deep down, We love being asked about parts of our life, since normally human beings like to talk about themselves and appreciate the opportunity to do so (since we don’t usually have many). Some questions you can ask that can lead to numerous conversation topics can be: What movies do you like? What music do you listen to? You like to travel? Do you have brothers? Do you like nature?, etc. As many as you can think of.

Of course, avoid questions about your partner (it can give the impression that you are flirting); work and salary (for some people, it is frustrating because they are unemployed or recently fired and they don’t want to talk about it); or academic training (for some it is their Achilles heel).

Stay up to date with current events

It’s a great strategy as it creates new threads. Ask if they have seen the last political debate and what they think about it or if they can recommend an interesting movie that you haven’t seen yet. Before going to any social event, you can take a look at the current events and have 4 or 5 topics in your bedroom that you can take out to talk.

These are some strategies you can start employing to have an interesting conversation next time and avoid awkward silences. But don’t forget, the most important thing is that you know how to see that other people’s opinions are not as valuable as you think and that You have the right to express yours, as long as you do not harm anyone.

Pay attention to your body language

Everything you’ve read so far may be of no use if your body doesn’t align with your words.. When you have a conversation with someone and their non-verbal language indicates distrust and insecurity, your brain receives two contradictory information. This generates discomfort and the feeling of not completely trusting your interlocutor.

To prevent this from happening to you, Please note the following:

Make eye contact for much of the conversation, especially when you listen. It is not necessary that you do it all the time (our eyes move while we think or remember experiences), but do not avoid it either. Depending on the trust, or the type of relationship you have with your interlocutor, avoid facing him completely or she. If there is not much confidence, try to position yourself at a certain anglesince the opposite can cause some discomfort.Use an open stance. Although it is logical to cross your arms or legs from time to time to relieve yourself internally, do not remain in that position throughout the conversation.Nod occasionally while your interlocutor is speaking, This is how you motivate him to continue doing it.You might be interested…