Why do some unhappy couples stay together?

Loving relationships are one of the most important parts of our lives. For many of us, success in love is as important or more important than success at work or with our family. However, It is not easy to be in a relationship that works perfectly.. For this reason, many unhappy couples settle for a situation that is not optimal, and remain together despite the problems.

In today’s article we will see the main reasons why unhappy couples avoid breaking up, even when they’re not right together.

What are the reasons why unhappy couples move on?

We all know (or have known) at least two people in a relationship that is not working, but despite everything they do not decide to end it. On the other hand, although The psychology of relationships is still in full development.the answer to the question of why unhappy couples stay together has occupied a good space within the bulk of the research.

According to different studies, the most common reasons to continue with a relationship, Even when it causes pain, they are the following:

Reasons external to the relationship itself.Religious reasons.Existence of a strong commitment.Sunk cost fallacy.

Let’s see each one of them.

1- Reasons external to the relationship itself

One of the main reasons cited by most unhappy couples as a reason for not breaking up is the existence of external factors, such as lack of money or children in common. Because ending the relationship would cause great suffering due to these external factors, the couple decides to move on even though doing so constitutes a source of negative emotions at the current moment.

However, on many occasions acting this way avoids having to face greater pain in the short term in exchange for prolonging it over time. For example, most couples who stay together only for the sake of their children in the long term do more harm than good to them. Therefore, most of the time it is worth looking for a solution to the external factors that may be maintaining the relationship, even if it has stopped working a long time ago.

2- Religious reasons

Another of the main reasons why many unhappy couples move on is religious beliefs.. In countries where the Catholic religion is very important, for example, divorce rates are much lower than in those that are considered secular.

This It has to do with the religious belief that a marriage is something sacred, and therefore breaking it is one of the worst actions a couple can commit. For this reason, married Catholic people often prefer to be unhappy in their relationship rather than commit such a terrible (for them) act when love ends.

3- Existence of a strong commitment

However, not all unhappy couples who decide to move on do so because of external factors, such as money or religion. In some cases, the main reason for continuing with a dying relationship is the strong commitment between both members of the couple.

According to Sternberg’s triangular theory of love, the most accepted among psychologists to explain how relationships work, one of the components of love is commitment. Although in general the presence of the other two components is necessary (intimacy and passion) for the existence of a strong relationship, there is a type of love based only on commitment: the so-called empty love.

Sometimes, this type of bond is enough to maintain a relationship despite the problems that the couple may be suffering.

4- Sunk cost fallacy

One of the cognitive biases that can do us the most harm is the sunk cost fallacy. It is the belief that because we have already invested a lot of resources and effort into something, We must persevere in it even though it is evident that it is not working. It happens to many players and it happens to us in real life.

The sunk cost fallacy can harm us in many areas, and in the field of relationships it can drive us to fight for a relationship that no longer works because we have been together for a long time. This may sound very good in theory, but in practice it will make us end up more and more resentful of our partner and we will distance ourselves from them even more.

Therefore, if at any time you feel tempted to continue with your partner just because you have been with them for a long time, remember that Sometimes it is better to suffer a little in the short term than to have a terrible time for a long time.

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