Why do some people not like physical contact?

There are few things more comforting than a hug. This gesture makes us feel loved, supported and safe. However, it does not cause these pleasant sensations in everyone. For some, even a simple touch on the shoulder can cause great discomfort.

It is worth mentioning that physical contact can be of various types and transmit different messages. It helps us greet and say goodbye, to convey support, show empathy or show affection. In short, it unites us and brings us closer to others and, for most, it is a most pleasant stimulus.

However, There are certain circumstances and personal characteristics that can make this contact feel invasive or threatening. If you know someone who avoids hugs, is uncomfortable with kisses, and tends to maintain a safe physical distance, you may wonder what’s wrong.

If they are a person very close to you, you may have even felt rejected by their attitude. However, knowing its reasons will help you understand it. We share with you the reasons why this may happen.

1. Parenting style

Some research has found that the degree to which we show physical affection and feel comfortable with it depends on the way we were raised. Growing up in a close and loving family nucleus encourages children to adopt this same open style that tends towards physical contact.. On the contrary, if the parents were not very demonstrative, it is likely that the children will adopt this same distant attitude.

However, This is not decisive, since in some cases just the opposite occurs.. People who grew up lacking physical affection may later try to compensate for it by taking the initiative and opening up to kissing and hugging people close to them.

Parenting style can influence the attitude and way of relating to others.

2. Low self-esteem and insecurity

If you dislike physical contact, you may not have a healthy and strong self-esteem. And it has been seen that generally the most insecure people feel threatened by closeness with others; They somehow feel more exposed, and this is especially threatening if the person suffers from social anxiety.

By marking and maintaining distance, one feels greater control over the situation, the person avoids being vulnerable and, in some way, it seems that we are safer from rejection or too intimate an emotional connection.

3. Self-image and body awareness

Self-image and the relationship we have with our own body can also be important variables. It is common for those who feel uncomfortable in contact with others to have a poor self-image. and (more or less consciously) feel rejection towards their body or their image.

If a person feels ugly, unpleasant, unattractive, too tall or short, fat or thin, or perceived as full of defects, he or she will probably avoid being touched by others. In a way, may feel unworthy of that contact or excessively exposed to it.

Besides, These feelings of unpleasantness can also appear in individuals with little body awareness, who do not usually listen to their body or be in contact with it. Thus, the touch or hug of another person makes them instantly return to that body that they are not used to caring for or truly inhabiting, and this can feel uncomfortable.

4. Cultural patterns

Obviously, the environment in which we grow up and live also shapes opinions regarding physical displays of affection. And, as we all know, In certain cultures this physical closeness is encouraged and exalted, while in others it is restricted and limited..

5. Fears and phobias

At other times, people They may avoid getting close to others due to a phobia of germs, dirt, or the spread of certain diseases.. A fear that already existed before but that has spread greatly due to the current health situation.

On the other hand, although there are people who do not like physical contact, there are others who truly cannot stand it, causing them great anxiety at the mere idea of ​​being touched by others. In this case, it is an irrational fear known as haphephobia..

6. Trauma and abuse

Finally, having previously suffered sexual or physical abuse most likely conditions the person to feel rejection of contact. Previous traumas and negative experiences can generate a great fear of establishing that physical closeness with the rest.

Trauma and abuse can generate an attitude of rejection in others.

People who don’t like physical contact need it too

The greater or lesser tendency to seek and enjoy physical contact could be a personality characteristic. And, in reality, there are different love languages ​​and each of us expresses affection differently. However, Many studies support the benefits of physical contact for humans.

This reduces stress levels, improves health and the immune system, enhances positive emotional states and promotes social relationships. For these reasons it is important to work on those aspects that make us perceive contact as unpleasant or dangerous.

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