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Why can’t I cry?

Many people find it difficult to cry and, behind this fact, various causes can be hidden. Below, we show the most common ones.

Why can’t I cry? This is a more common expression than we think.. There are many people who, after suffering, for example, a personal loss, are unable to cry, to vent their pain through tears. Crying, crying, is part of mourning and is an essential part of overcoming misfortunes and traumas. A physiological relief with which to release tension and stress.

Often, We tend to assume the idea that someone who doesn’t cry actually has a cold and emotionless personality. A type of alexithymia where one not only shows a clear impossibility when it comes to understanding one’s own emotions, but is also unable to express them verbally. However, one thing has nothing to do with the other. Because tears are much more than just salt water. Tears purge conflicts and even release toxic chemical compounds.

We must therefore understand a first aspect. The inability to cry is not synonymous with coldness, it actually responds to a blockage, a psychological dimension that can hide behind a complex emotional background and even covert depression. Let’s look at these causes in more detail.

Why can’t I cry? It is one of the most common questions. Often, this inability is associated with an emotional block.

I can’t cry, why is that?

When there is a suspicion of a possible psychological disorder, What should always be done first is to rule out physiological problems. Often, after a lack of energy, low motivation, discouragement and insomnia, there can be a thyroid problem, for example. Therefore, before assuming that the reason why one cannot cry is due to some type of depression, it is best to go to our doctor.

We know that the need to cry is part of emotional relief, as well as a way to catalyze stress and tension. However… What happens if we experience the desire and need to cry but it does not manifest?

“There is no greater cause to cry than not being able to cry.”

-Seneca-

Autoimmune diseases

Well, it’s interesting to know that there are people who are unable to achieve it due to illness. It is not that they repress their feelings, at all, it is a problem of physiological origin. We would be facing an autoimmune disease in which there is dryness in the tear duct, where it is almost impossible to filter tears. A reality known as Sjögren’s syndrome.

It is a disease that usually gives the first symptoms around the age of 35 or 40. Likewise, it is common for it to appear with other diseases of autoimmune origin such as lupus or rheumatoid arthritis.

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Tears as part of a process

We must be clear that Not all people are the same nor do we manage problems in the same way. Each one has reaction times and processes their reality in a certain way. By this we mean something very simple. There will be those who vent their emotions in a simple, quick and spontaneous way and there will be those who need a certain period of time.

That this is so is not a problem. There is nothing pathological in those who begin the period of mourning later, in those who, due to their personality or education, are more reluctant to release their tears. Sooner or later it will happen, often a trigger is needed, a stimulus that facilitates that reaction. It can be a photograph, a song, a landscape, a specific situation…

If we feel anxiety or uncertainty and have not yet rationalized the situation, the tears may not come. But this will depend on the personality of each person. More sensitive personalities often resort to crying as an adequate relief mechanism.. Profiles with a greater need for self-control, or a simple need to rationalize every aspect of their life, will take longer to experience tears.

We said it at the beginning. Tears are not just salt water. In them there are various chemicals and various hormones, which will be released in due time and at the right time. As long as that relief appears, everything will be fine.

I feel nothing: melancholic depression

There are patients who come to the psychological consultation with a very specific reality. They don’t just ask themselves “why can’t I cry?” Besidesthey declare with total clarity “that they feel nothing”.

Are unable to experience joy or sadness, nothing attracts their interest and life, is little more than a fabric without color, shape and texture. They are suspended in the limbo of nothingness, of the most absolute emotional neutrality.

What is this state due to? In most cases it is a deep depression. It is a highly serious condition that requires psychological attention and pharmacological treatment. Our brain has a deficit in neurotransmitters such as dopamine or serotonin.

Likewise, there is an important fact that we cannot ignore. Sometimes when we say “I can’t cry,” it doesn’t mean that we have reached a point where we don’t feel anything. In reality it is quite the opposite: we have felt and feel too much. Now, this excess translates into an absolute blockage, a disconnection where the world and ourselves are slowed down.

Lack of emotional awareness

In other cases, the absence of crying may be due to the person is not fully aware of his or her own emotions; so he does not know what is happening to him and what he feels. This may be due to a deficit in introspective capacity, a lack of self-knowledge, psychological immaturity or the existence of intense pain that the mind unconsciously prefers to avoid.

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Much of these deficits They are the product of inefficient emotional education since childhood.; where parents do not teach how to properly identify and manage emotions. Therefore, people grow up with a basic ignorance about their own emotional states.

Fortunately, Emotional awareness can be developed through introspection and self-knowledge.

Traumatic experiences

For its part, the inability to cry can also be the product of traumatic experiences. In this case, the events provoke emotional states so intense that The mind, in an attempt to protect itself, dissociates the emotional part. Thus blocking emotions, as if they did not exist in us.

Therefore, depersonalization and derealization phenomena are common; where the person feels that they are observing themselves from outside their body, or feels that the things around them are not real, respectively.

Other psychological disorders

In addition to depression, there are other severe mental conditions that can prevent crying from occurring. One of them is schizophrenia, which can cause emotional flattening.that is, with episodes where the person is unable to feel and remains disconnected.

This is also quite common in severe anxiety disorders.

I can’t cry: tears and their social connotation

In addition to the factors previously mentioned, there is one last connotation that is impossible to neglect: social pressure and the idea that tears and their release are synonymous with personal fragility.

We must understand that by showing them we are not weaker or more vulnerable.s. Sometimes they are as necessary as breathing and are an indispensable part, for example, of any grief. We must experience them to feel better.

However, sometimes our education, Our personal and social context can instill in us that it is better to assume and remain silent. Do not show weakness, appear strong. A mistake that in the long term can cause serious health problems. Unaccepted wounds that can become internal injuries.

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Not worth it. Tears and the need to cry are part of our personality, There are those who will show a certain ease in letting them go, and others simply find it more difficult.

They are part of a cycle where self-recognition is essential, knowing how to identify the emotions we have inside us, knowing how to listen to ourselves. They may not arrive when we need them most and make us feel strange. With everything that is happening to me…how is it possible that I can’t cry?

Tips to overcome emotional blockage

Now, if you are one of those people who has not been able to release their tears due to an emotional blockage. Below we leave you some keys that can help you:

1. Consciously feel the blockage

The first recommendation is try to connect with our body and consciously feel the emotional blockage. To do this, find a quiet place, make yourself comfortable, close your eyes and begin to be aware of the tensions in your body. Meditation is a good tool to achieve this goal.

2. Speak out loud

It may sound simple, but speaking freely about what worries us, worries us, saddens us, etc. It can be quite a challenge. Especially for those reserved people. However, with practice we perfect this skill.

Talking about what ails us is a way to bring those blocked emotions to consciousness.. Many times we do not know to what extent a situation is affecting us until we dare to express it out loud.

You can do this activity in front of the mirror, with someone you trust or with a psychotherapist.. Regardless of the situation you choose, it has to be someone who encourages active listening; even if you do it with yourself.

3. Watch movies that make you cry

Another way to overcome emotional blockage is by watching movies that make you cry. Keep in mind that not everyone cries at the same movies, so Try to find one that is similar to your situation and you can connect with the characters in a simpler way..

For example, if you’re dealing with the death of a close family member, don’t look for a heartbreak movie; or vice versa.

Finally, we advise you not to worry, they will arrive when they should.. In the most unexpected moment, when you relax, when you are more aware and accept the situation. Only then will tears offer you true relief.

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