Why are there people who don’t look you in the eyes?

Why are there people who don’t look you in the eyes? Most of us have had some similar experience. Men and women who avoid eye contact, who lower their faces, who speak with a lost gaze, as if rambling with themselves while having a conversation. For what is this? Do they perhaps present some type of problem?

This is, by far, one of the things that worries us most when we meet someone. Perceiving that we rarely enter their visual field, that they avoid us, that communication becomes empty and strange without having the pupils of the person in front of us as a reference, is uncomfortable, to say the least.

So, something that We are taught from a very young age that we should look at others when they talk to us.. It is not only a sign of respect. It is also another element of communication, a way of emitting connection, expressing emotions, validating each other and allowing empathy, understanding and even magic to flow.

Maybe that’s why we find it so strange that there are people who don’t do it. Let’s delve a little deeper into this topic.

Why are there people who don’t look you in the eyes?

If there is an area capable of expressing the intensity of emotions, it is the eyes.. It happens not only in people, but animals also reveal in their eyes their fear, their joy, their threatening attitude when they see themselves in danger. Likewise, there is another factor and that is that most of the time we cannot control the reflection of our feelings. As they say, If the pupil dilates, it gives you away.

Anxiety, uncertainty, fear and even sexual desire… Many of these conditions cause pupillary dilation that is often accompanied by other facial and body gestures.. Therefore, it is common that in courtship situations, when we are with someone we like, we tend to avert our gaze a little, sometimes as a result of nerves; others, for fear that the person will perceive the intensity of our emotions.

These are, after all, normal and understandable situations in which this factor can occur. However, there are other reasons that we would like to discover to better understand why there are people who do not look you in the eyes.

Shyness

Shyness is that behavioral state that does not let us be, that nullifies worth, that grips us with insecurity and the shackles of constant shame. It is to be expected that among the wide repertoire of manifestations of this profile is that of an averted gaze and a crestfallen face.

As a rule, this is how we usually explain when a person does not look us in the eyes. However, it is necessary to know that there are more factors.

autism spectrum disorder

Autism spectrum disorder defines, as the word itself indicates, a condition that falls within a continuum. That is to say, there will be people with clear sociocognitive and communicative limitations and who do not even know them, no matter how much they experience their consequences every day.

There are obviously functional men and women, with their lives, jobs, responsibilities… However, they are perceived as different from others in various nuances.

Social problems tend to be the most common: limitations in emotional connection, in understanding double meanings, in communication… The fact that they do not look at their interlocutors is common.

Why are there people who don’t look you in the eyes? social anxiety

Within anxiety disorders, we find social anxiety. It is defined as the restlessness, anguish, insecurity, nerves and discomfort that a person experiences when they have to interact with others. The fear of feeling judged and observed puts them in states of great anxiety in which it is common to hesitate, avoid looking.seeming more nervous than usual, etc.

Attention deficit and hyperactivity

When we talk about attention deficit with or without hyperactivity (ADHD), it is common to imagine a school-age child or a teenager. We forget that there are many hyperactive adults, people with attention problems those who find it difficult to focus on a single activity and even, why not, maintain a deep and focused conversation.

In this situation, there is no behavior in which one constantly averts one’s gaze out of shame or insecurity. They don’t avoid it, they just take it from here to there because they don’t they are able to maintain eye contact for a few minutes at a time.

The curious peculiarity of the brain: I can’t look at you while I think

This information is interesting. Scientists from Kyoto University (Japan) have shown us through a study that there are people with clear difficulty maintaining a conversation while maintaining eye contact. How can it be? We will ask ourselves.

Well, it is decisive to know that in these cases the brain activates the same mechanisms when we think about what we are going to say during a dialogue, as when we make use of eye contact with the person in front of us.

According to the director of this work, Dr. Shojo Kaijmura, there are many who They cannot combine the tasks of thinking about the correct words to say while focusing on a face at the same time.

This causes them to end up lowering their face, looking to a corner and thus withdrawing eye contact at all times. Something undoubtedly curious that neuroscience reveals to us and that, in some way, allows us to understand one more factor as to why there are people who do not look you in the eyes.

Whatever the case, let’s not give up on them. Let us be patient and ensure that, on our part, they always have our refuge and visual attention.

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