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The mystery of mental attraction: two souls that caress each other

Sometimes mental attraction is like those oldest stars in the sky that come together and collapse. There where, suddenly, almost everything fits

Sometimes two souls meet like the oldest stars in the sky do.. Almost without knowing how, we enter the same gravitational field where almost everything fits. We are talking about that mental seduction that goes beyond the physical, because it captivates and dazzles, where two souls caress each other and navigate in the same direction. This is what we call mental attraction.

This type of attraction, which goes beyond the skin and delves into other types of processes, is actually more common than we think. This does not mean, however, that the weight of physical appearance continues to have its notable importance. In fact, as social psychologist Solomon Asch demonstrated in his “Implicit theories of personality” People continue to think that everything beautiful is good, and therefore beneficial.

“For someone to make you feel things without putting a finger on you, that’s admirable.”

-Mario Benedetti-

When talking about attraction we must keep in mind that a large part of these mechanisms are governed by unconscious processes.. The physique is our letter of introduction and a great attraction, we know it; However, this claim is not always the perfect or the most foolproof lure. Biology, chemistry and our psycho-emotional needs shape that gravitational field where we approach certain profiles, with which sometimes, almost without knowing how, magic and a vital project arise.

We are not talking about “soul mates” at all, but rather about personalities that connect, who are in perfect harmony and who are capable of creating a strong and enriching bond. An interesting topic with many nuances that we want to reflect on with you.

Mental attraction does not look for soulmates, it looks for travel companions

We will start by talking about a curious fact that should invite us to reflect. According to a study carried out by Dr. Raymond Knee, director of the social psychology laboratory at the University of Rochester, More than half of people believe that soul mates exist. That is to say, that people are destined for each other and that this type of attraction transcends what is understandable at first glance.

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Within the vision of the concept of soul mates, the aspect of mental attraction is undoubtedly a basic pillar. However, as this same author explains to us through articles such as “The Science of Soulmates”, this type of attraction would go beyond the simple mental processes associated with the conjunction in terms of values, needs and affections to reach a rather spiritual field.

“Love is not just wanting, it is above all understanding”

-Françoise Sagan-

It is clear that for a scientific vision this approach is not valid. It is not because There are those who leave aspects that should be under our control in the hands of destiny.. Because authentic mental attraction does not involve magic or destiny, but rather the conjunction of two mature personalities who, beyond an eternal love, what they are looking for is a present relationship, a traveling companion for whom they can fight every time. day.

United by destiny or united to grow

Dr. Raymond Knee is still immersed in the study of the social conception of “soul mates” today. . From your department we can carry out a test with which to evaluate our vision on the subject. After taking this test we will know if we belong to one of these two groups.

People who believe in the existence of soul mates. From this approach, mental attraction is understood as that process through which our union with the other person is so intimate and exceptional that we do not need to say what we want or what we lack for the other member to know. We are the same being.People who believe in emotional relationships as part of their personal and emotional growth. In this case, the destination has little or no importance. Nobody is predestined to anyone, it is we who create it by investing time, will and effort when we find that traveling companion.

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Mental attraction responds in the latter case to an agreement in terms of interests, passions, values ​​and the ease with which we negotiate., with which we understand each other to reach agreements without waiting for the other person to “guess” what is happening to us. Understanding it any other way could lead us to deep frustration.

The keys to mental attraction

Physical attraction is something strong, intense, uncontrolled… We know it and we love it. However, the authentic magic that characterizes these most authentic and stable relationships is found in an ideal balance between both dimensions, where mental seduction is the most shameless, vivid and exciting ingredient every day.

“Love makes possible the paradox of two becoming one without ceasing to be two.”

-Erich Fromm-

In addition, If we stop to delve a little into the keys to authentic mental attraction we will realize that, indeed, there is very little supernatural in it, but a lot of emotions, drives, chemistry and that type of intuition buried in our unconscious that tells us that he or she is the person who, at this present moment, is best for us.

Let’s look at some aspects.

The first aspect is undoubtedly reciprocitysomething as basic as being responded to positively, feeling recognized, valued and seeing ourselves as important figures in the eyes of another person, makes up a very significant attraction.

Mental attraction also converges in similar interests, in seeing the world from the same perspective and under the same principles. There may be differences in some aspects, of course, but those small dissonances are respected and even valued.

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Likewise, mental attraction is ignited through challenge. There are people who make us feel alive, who challenge us with their gaze, with their knowledge, with that subtle combination where the familiar mixes with the unknown. Little by little, something is configured that excites us, that fills our minds to, inevitably, ignite our hearts and let our souls caress each other.

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