When the heart, mind and voice come together, good communication flourishes

In The little Prince It is said that “language is a source of misunderstanding.” The phrase is very wise, if we take into account that It is not easy to turn our thoughts into words. and express them in such a way that our interlocutor fully understands them. What you say does not have to be understood according to how you believe.

In fact, our messages are never understood 100%. If someone says, for example, “I’m in love,” it refers to a reality that is unlikely to be fully understood by the other person.

“I’m in love” can be synonymous with being excited, having achieved a very close bond with your partner., or simply feeling very attracted to another person. We would have to know someone very well to know what she says when she says “I’m in love.”

Likewise, words are not the only source of communication, as they are accompanied by attitudes, gestures, and postures. You can say something with your language and something completely opposite with your tone, look or attitude in general.. Hence, learning to communicate is a true art.

What you say…

The biggest communication challenge occurs when talking about our inner world. Especially our feelings, emotions or perceptions. In addition to the fact that it is not easy to put all this into words, it is impossible to separate ourselves from the feelings, emotions and perceptions that we can generate when saying something. To communicate we always take into account the reaction we unleash in those who listen to us.

But, Sometimes, we also want them to fear us, obey us, allow us to impose ourselves or that they feel hurt, hurt. Sometimes we are aware of this and sometimes we are not. As strange as it may seem, sometimes our purpose in communicating is to create confusion. Not that they understand us, but that they stop understanding us.

What is behind what you say?

It is precisely the intention that defines the essence of each message. You can flatter someone to recognize their virtues, but also to flatter that person and make them more vulnerable to some type of manipulation that we want to implement.

That intention, however, is often not clear even to ourselves.. We think that our goal is to “make someone else wrong,” but we have not considered the possibility that the other person is right.

We believe that the purpose is to bare our feelings, but We ignore the fact that deep down what we are really looking for is compassion or reassurance.. And if you don’t get them, we assure you that you didn’t understand a single letter of what we said.

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Beyond the words you say

Human communication is a complex process, which always has some degree of misunderstanding.. It does not depend only on the words we use to say things (although these are very important), but on countless circumstances.

You have to take into account the time, the place, the interlocutor. But mainly there has to be a great effort to ensure, as far as possible, that we really say what we mean.

Thus, A good part of our messages are delivered at the level of the unconscious.. When we say that someone “gives us a bad feeling,” it is because they have communicated to us with their gestures and attitudes that they are apparently not trustworthy. Same as the opposite. What we communicate about ourselves at all times generates the precedent for constructive, destructive or neutral links.

Communicate from affection

Our daily ties, with the man who sells us milk for example, will be impregnated with sensations and emotions to which we probably do not give much importance. But When it comes to the great bonds in our lives, the topic of communication becomes relevant.

This is when it is more important than ever to generate mechanisms so that messages flow in a healthy way. To make it It is important to eradicate certain communication formulas and encourage others.

Basically It is necessary to learn to communicate from affection. Refer to what we feel, in the clearest way possible and avoid the disastrous habit of referring to what the other person feels. How do you know what another person feels if, surely, you don’t fully know what you yourself feel?

Aggressive communication always leaves deep marks. The only companions of anger should be silence and pause. If not, we are very likely to distort what we really wanted to say. When aggressive communication occurs, the interlocutor may feel uncomfortable, hurt and upset. In this way, the only thing we will achieve is the rejection of those people to whom we speak in a bad way.

Good communication requires serenity and relevance. Find the right time, place and state of mind to discuss difficult topics. Letting our affections flow spontaneously when we are calm and open to others.

Actually, it What hinders communication is not what you say, but the way you say it.. And what enriches an important bond is having the delicacy to choose the best ways to tell ourselves and others what we feel and think. In this way, whatever we say, we will not establish any type of tension with our interlocutor.

Love me less, but love me better

Many people say that their partner has a big heart, but that their character is unbearable. The way many people are makes them speak and say things with the same impulse with which they come to mind. Lack of tact is the reason for the breakdown of many relationships. It is worth remembering that respect, harmony and good communication are essential in a romantic relationship.

When we are unable to speak to our partner with respect and calm, it is time to stop and reflect.. Especially if they have expressed to us that the ways of speaking hurt them. On many occasions, those whose ways are aggressive deny the fact: “I have spoken well to you, it is you who misunderstand me and take offense”. However, what is often hidden behind this statement is the habit of being a certain way and, in this way, we are not aware of our ways.

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