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What qualities should the perfect couple have?

Physical attraction and love at first sight are two important factors when it comes to finding a partner. It’s hard to deny it. But it is, at the end of the day, a beginning where a momentary, intense but fleeting passion can prevail, where stability is rarely found. Finding the perfect partner and being reciprocated is an aspiration that many people long for.

However, to achieve this, first We must be clear about some fundamental aspects about ourselves. What do you value most in a person? What are your needs? what your limits?

The perfect couple may not exist as such, but that person capable of awakening happiness does. and security. A partner with qualities and values ​​appropriate for you. That person whose differences are nothing more than small differences in which to fit your own pieces to form the perfect puzzle.

“We learn to love not when we find the perfect person, but when we come to see an imperfect person perfectly.”

-Sam Keen-

The need to know yourself

When it comes to finding the right partner, always It is necessary that we do an exercise in self-knowledge. Valuing our life experience and old shared relationships will make us understand what it is that we appreciate most in a couple.

We must think about what we value, or what we could never accept. Would you accept a jealous person? Are you one of those who value independence and having your own space? Are you an indecisive person and are you looking for someone who gives you security? Or are you perhaps a controlling person who would fit better with someone more understanding? All of these are aspects that we must be very clear about.

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Sometimes we can see ourselves starting relationships where little by little situations appear where we feel contradicted, or perhaps hurt. It is true that many times attraction appears without us being able to control it, but It is essential to know what our limits are and to what extent we are able to allow, give in or accept.

When we know ourselves we will be able to establish much healthier relationships. We will not look for in the other person what we lack. Many people believe that in a perfect relationship we must find in the other what we lack to fill an inner void, however, this can lead to attachment and dependency. The healthiest thing is for both people to have good self-esteem and be together by their own choice and not out of dependence or necessity.

What qualities does the perfect couple have?

We can say that There are three basic pillars that help consolidate the relationship as a couple.. Let’s see them.

Communication

Good communication is essential to maintain a stable and effective relationship. It is essential to be able to express our thoughts freely, our needs and feelings, establish active listening with the other to be understood. It is an effective way to overcome any conflict that arises in the couple.

Commitment

Find a person who assures us of their commitment to us and to the relationship It is essential to feel safe and to trust what is being experienced. Fidelity, trust, seeing that there is an emotional commitment to us and that we are the center of the other person’s interest and their future projects is essential to feel good and be happy.

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Affinity

Share similar hobbies and tastes It is a very effective value. It contributes to making our relationship something alive, something where we can find complicity, pleasure and union. Nor is it about sharing the same things 100%, and here the enriching dimension of mutually learning from each other comes into play.

Let our partner teach us and teach him our concerns, our tastes and pleasures… They are the pillars that will establish an efficient and true relationship with which to find that desired stability.

“One can love without being happy; one can be happy without loving; But to love and be happy is something prodigious.”

-Honoré de Balzác-

To conclude, highlight some phrases of Manuel Villegas (2006) in his article Love and dependence in relationships: Excessive expectationHowever, transferred to the relationship, it can be so suffocating that it ends up completely destroying it or unbalancing the roles on which it is based, favoring the attitude of dependence on one or both members of the samein order to preserve the link, once established“.

It is true that the perfect or ideal couple does not exist, we are all people with greatness but also with defects. But as long as there are basic qualities such as good communication, empathy, commitment and affinity, day by day we will be able to build that perfect relationship with the person of our dreams.

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