What is Madame Bovary syndrome?

People with Madame Bovary syndrome do not know how to be alone, they fear being abandoned and live clinging to an almost impossible ideal love. If you want to know more about this syndrome, keep reading!

Madame Bovary Syndrome or Bovarism is a behavioral disorder that arose from the appearance of romantic novels in the 19th century.. Since then, the idealization of love has led thousands of people (mainly women) to continuous frustration and disappointment. The search for that “ideal love” always ends up colliding with the realistic perception of a relationship.

We are talking about a psychopathology that It was first described in 1892, by the philosopher Jules de Gaultier. In his essay, based on the work Madame Bovary, he refers to the figure of his protagonist, Emma, as the perfect stereotype of a person who suffers from what he called “chronic emotional dissatisfaction.”

Who was Madame Bovary?

Emma Bovary is a literary character, created by the French writer Gustave Flaubert in 1857. The play tells of her marriage to Charles Bovary, a provincial doctor who adores her, but to whom she does not reciprocate. This is, in part, because of her fondness for period romance novels, which she has devoured ferociously since she was a teenager.

The constant search for the passionate and obsessive relationships that she discovers in her books causes her a state of terrible emotional dissatisfaction. and constant. After suffering from depression, Charles decides to move to a small town, where he will meet a series of colorful characters.

Emma will be seduced by two of them, first by a young student and then by a Casanova named Rodolphe. His relationship with both is possessive, jealous and very dependent. Faced with the abandonment of both lovers, he ends up committing suicide by ingesting powdered arsenic.

Madame Bovary, like other literary characters such as Anna Karenina, They give up their families and their roles as wives to pursue love.. This, on the one hand, may seem very vindictive, but, on the other, it is a great criticism of idealized love. Emma is so obsessed with satisfying her desires that she doesn’t care about putting her family in debt, neglecting her daughter, or hurting the people around her.

“Be careful with sadness, it is a vice”

-Gustave Flaubert-

What are the characteristics of Madame Bovary Syndrome?

Among the main characteristics of this syndrome we find dissatisfaction, as well as the maintenance of rigid and unrealistic expectations and perspectives. There is also a marked cognitive dissonance and a biased view of the world and romantic relationships. Let’s look at other relevant features.

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1. Romance addiction

People who suffer from Madame Bovary Syndrome do not know how to be alone. They live with the idea that an ideal loved one will arrive who will change their lives and rid them of routine and problems. When they leave a relationship it doesn’t take long for them to start another. Your only goal is to find a person like the one described in romantic books, series or movies.

Every time they become infatuated with someone new they tend to become obsessed with them.. They idealize him in such a way that it is impossible to change their mind, even if the person in question does not correspond to them or does not suit them.

2. Impossible relationships

Due to their inability to maintain a real relationship, they often resort to impossible loves. It may be the case that They already have a partner and, even so, they continue pursuing the illusion of ideal love with another person.

This leads them to infidelity, since not knowing how to be alone, they will rarely end a romance if they do not have an “ace” – another – up their sleeve. Complicated relationships or relationships with tormented people attract them considering them romantic and passionate.

3. Constant dissatisfaction

At the time of starting a relationship, they begin to discover that their partner is a human being and, therefore, has defects. Idealization disappears, and with this fading comes frustration again. They no longer consider that this person is the right one and begin to show symptoms of disinterest.

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They never feel satisfied with anyone, because they do not understand love beyond the first stage of falling in love. Your view of relationships is skewed and based on stories or characters who have never experienced tranquility, problems or monotony.

4. Mimesis with the loved one

Due to the obsession with the couple, They begin to copy their tastes, hobbies and even way of thinking. Mimesis is produced by the exaggerated admiration felt for the other, but also by fear. Madame Bovary Syndrome causes an intense fear that the other person will abandon them. This can make them react quite badly to a breakup.

Who does Bovarism affect?

Although a couple of centuries ago it was a more recurrent psychopathology in women, currently the incidence has been more balanced. This is because in the past men were the ones who worked, while women stayed at home, spending their free time in activities such as reading. This made them escape from reality, transporting them to places where everyday problems did not exist.

People who suffer from it usually have had abandonment problems or emotional deficiencies during childhood. This leads to an exacerbated need to get their partner’s attention, in an attempt to not experience those feelings again.

Madame Bovary syndrome has a melancholic state as its main symptom. People who suffer from this illness can be treated with the help of specialists, who will be in charge of evaluating the case and establishing the most appropriate intervention protocol. This syndrome may also be related to other more serious disorders, such as obsessive or borderline disorder, which make intervention even more necessary due to the dangerous nature of its course.

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Psychological and relational consequences

One of the main consequences of this syndrome is the constantly dissatisfaction and unhappiness of the person. It is common for anxious and depressive symptoms to appear, with a tendency towards melancholy and dysthymia. At times, it can lead to aggressive and self-destructive behaviors.

The social and relationship relationships of these people are unsatisfactory and are dominated by possessiveness, jealousy and recriminations. In intimate relationships they tend to depend on the other, in such a way that many of their own interests are put aside for fear of being abandoned.

Causes and treatment

Its causes are not known yet. However, it is believed that the origin of chronic dissatisfaction lies in the lack of adequacy between the person’s expectations and reality. These expectations may be due to a utopian view of romantic relationships. Also, it has been observed that People with this syndrome tend to have suffered from situations of abandonment or deprivation in childhood.
The treatment of Madame Bovary Syndrome requires intervention on core beliefs, cognitive biases and self-esteem. It is necessary to make the person reflect on their way of thinking, feeling and relating and on how this way of relating has affected their life and the lives of those around them.

To conclude, people with this syndrome are overwhelmed by idyllic love fantasies that never come true in reality. The real love that they experience never satisfies their expectations, nor the idealized image they have of it.