What to do with problems that have no solution?

Problems are situations or issues that need to be resolved.. That’s why people try hard to solve them. However, there are times when there is no possible solution.

So, the problem persists and the discomfort and frustration increase every day. What can you do when you have already tried everything and the problem is not solved? How can you move forward when there is no solution?

Acceptance is the key

Life often surprises us with unexpected situations that do not require us to find a solution, since they only demand acceptance that life is like that. And we have to know how to live with these situations.

The acceptance process does not mean agreeing with what happens, but be aware that we do not have control over everything that happens. Once we have internalized this process, we feel less involvement and more freedom about those events that do not depend on us.

As Rafael Ferro (2000) says, acceptance consists of «not avoid, control or change the elements that are part of a condition experiential avoidance. In such a condition, what is proposed is to do nothing, not confront emotions and/or thoughts.. With this, the author places special emphasis on the fact that, instead of trying to fight an emotion, it is best not to face them.

Ferro assures that this process consists of “admit or tolerate these private events and the situation itself, without trying to modify, control or avoid them. With these words, Rafael does not intend for us to become passive beings, but observers. When faced with something that is beyond our control, instead of facing the emotion that triggers us, it is best to contemplate it.

How to accept a problem without a solution

If you are facing a problem that has no solution, you only have one way left: the acceptation. But how can you manage to embrace that difficulty? in his book A valuable life (2018) , Manuela O’Connell presents the steps to promote acceptance. We will immediately describe them adapted to the topic of this article.

1. Let go of the fight and resistance

Problems that have no solution are an obstacle in the way for anyone. You probably feel like you’re in the middle of a battle that you always end up losing. That constant struggle you maintain with the problem reaffirms it more and more and makes you lose sight of the value of your own life..

Therefore, the first step you must take to accept that difficulty is to put aside the fight and let go of the resistance. Give up your desire to have control over the problem. Unsolvable problems cannot be solved, so why resist them?

2. Connection

The most common strategy when faced with unsolvable problems is to avoid contact with them and exercise greater control over life so as not to experience their emotional effects. Nevertheless, If you want to accept it, the second thing you have to do is get closer to them, connect with what you are experiencing..

Connect with those unpleasant sensations that it generates in you, with that discomfort and frustration. Connection, as Manuela O’Connell indicates, requires awareness and commitment to the experience. Being aware will allow you to get off the autopilot of fighting and avoiding the situation.

Take a few moments of silence and calm to notice your body, along with the uncomfortable emotions and thoughts that arise. This can be beneficial in establishing a connection. When dealing with stress and tension, it is essential that you observe how the problem is experienced from a non-oppositional stance. Do you feel any type of resistance in any area of ​​the body? What changes occur when you tune in to emotion?

3. Opening

Opening up to problems that have no solution means not getting attached to the idea of ​​solving them. This attitude will allow you to let go and connect without holding anything back. Allow yourself to feel what you are experiencing along with the problem you have.

The goal of being open is to let the problem come and go.. It is as if you had your hand open without grabbing or pushing whatever is placed in it. By doing this, you will take away the strength of the problem, as it feeds on your resistance.

4. Mindfulness

By practicing mindfulness you can focus on the present with an open and curious attitude.. For those facing unsolvable problems, the mindfulness can be a valuable tool to foster acceptance, as this approach promotes commitment to the current moment.

Practicing it also helps reduce anxiety or stress related to the problem. By focusing on the present, you take your attention away from future concerns.

Additional strategies

Next, we will present other strategies that you can apply in parallel with acceptance so that your way of relating to the problem changes.

1. Visualize

Imagine the problem that worries you in front of you and not on top of it. This way you will no longer feel so much pressure for it, but only the responsibility of accepting it. The Tibetan practice of tonglen (“give and take”) can be very useful too. According to the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön, this is done like this:

Remain still and open for a few minutes, observing your breathing. Visualize the problem and its discomfort.Breathe in the problem, the unwanted, and breathe out a sense of relief.Visualize a person who has the same problem and send them feelings of relief with each exhalation.

2. Write

Write down what happens to you, what you feel and think. This will help you find signs of a new path. After writing, you can reread what you wrote. This strategy also serves as a means of catharsis.

3. Seek information and advice

To enhance your ability to deal with problems that have no solution It is very practical for you to inform yourself, read and listen to advice and experiences from other people who have gone through a similar situation.. In this way, you will have another perspective and route of action regarding what you are experiencing.

4. Travel

Sometimes, Physical distance helps to put emotional distance from problems that have no solution. Walking away from your routine and problems is useful when you have the attitude of putting psychological distance from what you are experiencing.

5. Change your perspective

Analyze the problem from different points of view. It will help you create new ways of seeing it and will facilitate the transition to other alternatives to understand it. Since it is a problem that has no solution, the only option you have, other than accepting it, is to change the way you see it.

6. Focus your efforts on what you can control

Generally, in problems that have no solution, there are other internal factors that, although they are not useful to solve it, serve to increase its intensity. If you persist in searching for a solution and hoping that everything will work out, you are probably nurturing his strength by giving him so much attention.

Identify what you are doing to increase its strength and focus your energy on not giving it greater value.. Concentrate your effort on what depends on you and that you can control so as not to reaffirm the existence of the problem.

7. Look for the positive

Although the situation may seem discouraging, look for the positive aspects inherent in the problem. Take advantage of this circumstance for your personal growth and identify the lessons it offers for your benefit.

8. Take care of your mental health

Problems that have no solution are stressful and exhausting; In addition, they can negatively affect your well-being. That’s why, Take time to take care of yourself: exercise, eat well, get enough sleep, go to therapy, etc..

9. Connect with your values

We know that having problems that have no solution is not easy to manage. However, we encourage you not to let him stop you from living your life. To do this, he connects with your values, because they are your compass along the way and tell you what is worth it to you. Identify them and live by them.

If service is essential to you, look for activities where you can serve other people. If love is crucial for you, try to demonstrate it to others, to the world and to animals. The idea is that you live around your values ​​and not around the problem.

10. Keep going

Once you have connected with your values, Dr. Susan David recommends in her book emotional agility (2020) make changes in the way you live so that it is consistent with what is important for your life. This author suggests making small adjustments to your daily routine, so that on a day-to-day basis you can live in tune with the values ​​that move and guide you.

Moving forward means not living for problems that have no solution. This will help you remove them from the center of your existence and enhance your ability to live more authentically and meaningfully.

Conclusion

Generally, problems that have no solution, although sometimes it takes time to find one. However, there are times in life when difficulties arise that cannot be resolved. How to act in these cases?

In this article, we have proposed that the best thing to do is accept the situation and change perspective. We also said that it is vital that the person continues with his life and does not allow the problem to take away the meaning of his existence.

If you are dealing with an unsolvable problem, we invite you to apply the guidelines we have offered and consult with a psychotherapist. Professional support will help you process your emotions and will provide you with strategies that are more tailored to your case.

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