People who care about the problems of others

There are people who worry about other people’s problems. And not only that. They do the unspeakable to solve them. They are men and women eager to save, to rescue and carry upon themselves realities that do not belong to them, but that they feel are their own.

These are not easy situations for anyone. Neither for the savior nor for those who do not really want to be saved and see that act as an intrusion. There is a fine line between “supporting” someone and wanting to “fix” them. However, there are many who cannot avoid that behavior, that need: to be the white knight who alleviates suffering and solves all other people’s difficulties.

There are fathers, mothers, brothers and friends who, in their attempt to do the best for us, end up crossing the border between help that is useful and help that bothers. It is not easy to tell them that they are going too far. Because they act with good will, even if they do not understand that sometimes doing nothing is better than trying to do everything by whom you love or appreciate.

What’s more, it is very possible that we ourselves belong to that category, the one defined by excessive empathy that does not feel capable of seeing anyone suffer.

What to do in these circumstances, how to act? We analyze it.

Many of those people who feel the almost compulsive need to worry and help others suffered some type of trauma in the past as a result of abandonment.

What is behind people who worry about other people’s problems?

People who care about the problems of others feel the suffering of others as their own.. And that is very complicated to handle. Because we are talking about emotions and that compassionate empathy that is so difficult to control or regulate.

For example, if a father or mother sees that a child has problems with their partner, they will try to mediate even if that is an intimate area in which it is better not to enter.

We worry because we love and because we love sometimes we don’t know how to see the limits. We want to “fix” the suffering of others without knowing that the happiness of others is not always our responsibility.. These are lessons that no one gives us and, sometimes, personality factors are also mixed.

Whoever always acts as a rescuer is sometimes defined by very specific characteristics. We analyze them.

1. The white knight syndrome

Many people with an almost obsessive need to help, to solve other people’s problems and to be helpful suffer from white knight syndrome. This term was coined and described in a 2015 work by psychologists and professors at the University of Berkeley.

Generally, they are defined by a very specific type of profile:

They are people with low self-esteem who They reinforce their self-concept when they manage to help others.They have high empathy, so much so that they cannot avoid being infected by the suffering of others. They build relationships based on emotional dependence.It is common for people with white knight syndrome to be victims of an authoritarian parent.who suffered abuse or who have suffered the weight of abandonment.

2. The need for control

Behind those people who worry about the problems of others is, sometimes, the need for control. This behavior and inclination to worry excessively and sometimes even meddle in lands that do not belong to them is common in many families.

Wanting to solve your children’s difficulties is a way to always have them under your influence.

3. The magnification of everything

We see this dynamic very frequently. Sometimes, when we go through a bad time we just need to be listened to and supported, and not have our suffering increase. However, there are personalities with a clear tendency to make a mountain out of a molehill.

There are many people who feel other people’s problems as their own due to their hypersensitivity, to those emotions on the surface, to excessive worry and to that catastrophism that magnifies everything.

The importance of knowing how to act

Whoever loves you will care about you. It is evidence and it is the law of life. We all have significant figures around us who cannot help but feel our problems as their own. Some will act intelligently in those situations and others will respond in intrusive or less skillful ways.

We could say that people who care about others basically respond to that sense of sociability, empathy and community that defines the human being. Likewise, another no less interesting fact also occurs. Often, we look at other people’s problems to evaluate our own.to anticipate risk or threats that we could also suffer.

Be that as it may, it is necessary to remember something very basic. We have the right to worry about what happens to others, but we always have to know how to act on it. Knowing how to help is an art whose main component is respect and understanding.

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