Overadapted personality: when you focus on others and forget about yourself

Overadapted personality is one of the problems that goes most unnoticed. Even It comes to be seen as a virtue, since someone like that can be very comfortable for the environment.. Its essential trait is obedience to the commands of the family, school, church, society and any authority or rule.

Why is it problematic for someone to have an overadapted personality? What’s wrong with being an exemplary student, obedient son, blameless citizen, etc.? Of course, these types of people usually produce very few complaints. Meanwhile, the person with this type of personality is very vulnerable to repression, anxiety and suffering in general.

In the overadapted personality, the subject is more focused on responding to the demands of the environment than on recognizing and managing his own desire. You could say that it is an extreme denial of individuality, depending on others. This, over time, can come at a very high price.

The overadapted personality

The overadapted person is focused more on others than on their own wants and needs.

The overadapted personality can be defined as a way of being that is excessively focused on meeting other people’s expectations. Those who see him from the outside, what they appreciate is a mature, balanced, conciliatory, kind and correct person. Those who experience it from within feel discomfort, but they almost never know why.

Those who are prisoners of overadaptation adapt to all types of circumstances.. That is why it is so common that their traits end up being seen as skills or virtues. The bad thing is that the price that person is paying for acting like this is nothing less than his freedom.

On many occasions, these types of people really feel like refusing to agree to a request. They also experience the desire to shout “no” to many of the demands made of them. However, the need to obey ends up imposing and then they don’t bother, they keep quiet, they put up with it and continue playing their role as the ideal person.

Where does overadaptation come from?

The overadapted personality has its origins in a childhood dominated by narcissistic parental figures and tyrannical. These types of parents are usually people with great frustrations who carry the weight of unresolved traumas and are usually very upset when their children do not meet their expectations.

Also It is possible that overadaptation originates in an environment marked by domestic violence; not infrequently, due to addiction problems in one of the parents. The child fears reactions that he perceives as irrational and disproportionate. That is why he practices blind obedience. It is a way to stay safe, to not provoke the other.

These types of traits have been detected even in babies who do not cry, but who get sick frequently. That is one of the important points: everything that is not expressed through behavior finds a way to manifest itself. That route is usually the body and the disease.

Open the door of freedom

It is difficult for the overadapted person to recognize that their way of acting harms them.

The overadapted personality is not easy to recognize, especially for its owner. He finds it praiseworthy to do what he does and act as he acts.. He has become accustomed to being praised for this and therefore assumes that any sign of disruption or deviation in her behavior is a problem that must be resolved by adjusting to what is expected of him or her.

The reasons why they act this way are very deep. In the background, That child who feared being abandoned or rejected by his parents or teachers is still alive, if it did not conform to its mandates. Or the child who experienced horror and did not want to be the cause of situations that scared him even more. Overadaptation has helped it survive emotionally, and sometimes also physically, hostile environments. Therefore, he refuses to recognize that it is a problem.

These cases They require professional help to find the key that opens the door to freedom.. The bad thing is that these people almost never believe they need help. That is the biggest obstacle. Furthermore, psychotherapy is capable of helping them finally discover who they really are and what they really want.

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