7 steps to heal our emotional wounds

Emotional wounds can remain open and cause suffering for a long time if we do not dedicate ourselves to healing them. That is why below we show you some keys to overcome them.

The painful experiences that we develop throughout our lives make up our emotional wounds. These wounds can be multiple and we can call them many things: betrayal, humiliation, distrust, abandonment, injustice…

Nevertheless, We must become aware of our emotional wounds and avoid making up for them, Well, the longer we wait to heal them, the more they will get worse. Furthermore, when we are hurt, we constantly experience situations that touch our pain and cause us to put on multiple masks for fear of reliving our pain.

So then, We show you 6 stages that we need to experience to heal our emotional wounds. Before that, however, we will define this concept a little better, so don’t miss it.

What are emotional wounds

Emotional wounds are the consequence of a traumatic experience from the past, in which feelings and subsequent cognitive processing are conditioned. Emotional wounds produce a big pain and the person usually has to do adequate processing of the trauma and adequate treatment.

Emotional wounds manifested in adulthood are usually a consequence of childhood experiences, especially when they involve abandonment, rejection, humiliation, betrayal or injustice.

How to know if you have an emotional wound

Sometimes emotional wounds come from so far away that they have become a normalized part of identity. Even so, its signals penetrate at some point, giving rise to certain patterns:

Fearful and avoidant behaviors, or even aggressionin situations similar to those that caused the emotional wound.These behavioral patterns prevent the person from developing their life fluidly, so that forced and tense situations are often created.Sphysical symptoms resulting from fear and anguish: muscle contraction, sweating, paralysis, etc.Ruminative thoughts: It is difficult to get rid of the negative ideas that circulate in the mind when the subject is exposed to that which scratches emotional wounds.

Read Also: Know the 5 pillars of the personal dignity that you deserve

How do I free myself from emotional wounds?

Once the emotional wound is identified, you should know that it is possible to heal it. It requires time, work on oneself and, many times, unblocking emotional pain. However, it is worth it. Below you have the steps to follow to achieve this.

1. Accept the wound as part of yourself

The wound exists, you may or may not agree with the fact that it exists, but the first step is to accept that possibility. According to Lisa Bourbeaur, “accepting a wound means looking at it, observing it carefully and knowing that having situations to resolve is part of the human experience“.

We are not better or worse just because something hurts us. Having built your protective armor is a heroic act, an act of self-love that has a lot of merit, but that has already fulfilled its function. That is, it protected you from the environments that harmed you, but, Once the wound is open and you can see it, it is time to think about healing it.

Accepting our wounds is very beneficial, among other things, because it will help us not want to change ourselves.

2. Accept the fact that what you fear or reproach you do to yourself and to others

The will and The decision to overcome our wounds is the first step towards patience, compassion and understanding with ourselves. These qualities that you will develop for yourself, you will develop for others, which will feed your well-being.

Sometimes we don’t realize that we place our vital expectations on others., hoping that they will make up for our shortcomings and fulfill our hopes. The truth is that our behavior leads to canceling our relationships and a large part of our lives, generating great discomfort because others do not respond as we expect.

3. Give yourself permission to be angry at those who fed that wound.

The more we are hurt and the deeper our wounds are, the more normal and human it will be to blame and feel anger towards those who harmed us. Give yourself permission to be angry with them and forgive yourself.. Otherwise, you will vent all that resentment with yourself and with others, because if you do it it is as if you were constantly scratching your wounds.

Feeling guilty makes forgiveness difficult, but freeing ourselves from that guilt and resentment is the only way to heal our wounds.

It is also necessary to forgive, because we must accept that people who hurt are likely to carry deep pain within. We ourselves harm others with the masks we put on to protect our wounds.

4. No transformation is possible if we do not accept our emotional wounds

These emotional wounds are going to teach you something, although it is probably difficult for you to accept it because our ego creates a quite effective protective barrier to hide our problems.

The truth is that, normally, The ego wants and believes to take the easiest path, but in reality it complicates our lives.. It is our thoughts, reflections and actions that simplify it for us, even if it seems too complicated due to the effort it requires.

We try to hide the wound that makes us suffer the most because We are afraid to look our wound in the face and relive it. This makes us wear masks and aggravate the consequences of the problem we have, because, among other things, we stop being ourselves.

5. Give yourself time to observe how you have become attached to your wound.

The ideal is to get rid of these masks as soon as possiblewithout judging or criticizing us,wounds

It is possible to change the mask in the same day or wear the same one for months or days. Ideally, you should be able to say to yourself: Ok, I put on this mask and the reason was this. Then you will know that you are on your way and that in the rest of the journey, your guide will be the inertia that allows you to feel good without hiding.

6. Identify behaviors and correct them

Your emotional wounds have associated behaviors and thoughts that are making it difficult for you to live your life fully.. Recognizing them and beginning to change those habits is necessary to convert your daily life and your relationships into something healthy.

7. Live in the present

Staying stuck in the past and in the traumatic experience will prevent us from enjoying life, and this is now. To do this, begin to value and be grateful for everything you are and have in you. here and now.

In addition, One of the most affective techniques to connect with the present moment is through mindfulness or mindfulness. Try it, you won’t regret it.