What do I do if my boyfriend doesn’t want to use a condom?

Before getting into any type of argument, the most important thing is that you talk to him to find out why he doesn’t want to use a condom. The possibilities can be many, and it is probably all due to the fact that he is embarrassed to explain to you the real reason, which could be, for example:

Does not feel pleasure: There are many men who say they do not feel too much pleasure with a condom. This can be due to multiple causes, such as the condom being small for him and squeezing him, using one that is a little thick, or having the foreskin somewhat large and covering the nerve endings of the glans.The condom is too big: Many boys, before having their first sexual relations, put on condoms while alone, either to practice or to check that they can fill it. It should be noted that there are different sizes of condoms, but if he does not know this and has tried a very large one, he is likely to feel embarrassed and does not want you to make fun of him or think that he has a small penis.He wants to appear manly: Many times, young boys think, especially in their first sexual encounters, that if they use a condom they will lose part of their manhood. Nowadays, there are many movies and books that show sexual relations without a condom. This, which is highly dangerous, can confuse many inexperienced kids.Think that nothing happens: It may be the case that your boyfriend thinks that you are not going to get pregnant by doing the reverse, and hence he thinks that the condom is an unnecessary expense. Nothing could be further from the truth, even if your partner ejaculates outside, there is a great risk of pregnancy due to the precum that appears, without him realizing it, before ejaculation. That fluid contains sperm, so pregnancy would be more than likely.

It is also important that you keep in mind that the environment in which your boy moves can also greatly influence his decision not to use a condom. If his friends do not use it or he lives in a somewhat unstructured family environment, it could lead him to prefer not to use it.

As we said, going backwards is not a safe method to have sexual relations, since not only would it not protect us from a possible pregnancy, but we would also run the risk of acquiring some sexually transmitted disease (STD) like AIDS.

If your boyfriend doesn’t want to use a condom, It is essential that you talk to him and explain to him how dangerous it is to have sex this way. And if he tells you that you are not going to get anything because you are both virgins or have not previously had relationships with other people, remind him that the precum also contains sperm, in addition to the possibility that he may ejaculate without being able to control it.

You may also be interested in this other article on What are the most common sexually transmitted diseases.

If you keep asking yourself why he wants to do it without a condom, the answer may be that he doesn’t feel anything with a condom. This could be due to:

condom size: behind each box of condoms you will find the size of the condoms. These usually range from 53 to 57 mm. If it is too small, that is, too tight, it may cut off your blood circulation quite a bit and, along with the discomfort or pain, you may not feel much pleasure. If this is the problem, you should use a larger condom.The thickness of the condom: Another common and very little-known problem is the thickness of the condom. The thinner it is, the more pleasure you will both feel, but especially him. If until now you have used a very thick or “normal” condom, you probably think that you don’t feel pleasure with a condom, when in reality everything would be solved by looking for thinner or ultra-thin ones.The size of your foreskin: If your foreskin is very large, it may be that even if your penis is erect, the foreskin covers a large part of the glans, the place where the main nerve endings of the male member are located. If this were the case, the boy would not feel much pleasure and could come to believe that the problem is the condom, when in reality it is all in his member. To solve this, it would be best to go to the doctor to make sure that he does not have phimosis or paraphimosis and will have to have a circumcision.

If you want more information about this last point, you will find it in this other article on How circumcision influences sex.

The main difference between having sex with or without a condom lies in the pleasure that is felt. When a man does not want to use a condom, this is usually the main reason. However, men’s testosterone is usually much higher than that of women, so when they feel excited they can lose their minds much more easily than a woman.

That is why it is very important that, in those moments, you are the voice of their reason and remind him that you have to use a condom or another contraceptive method to avoid getting pregnant or transmitting sexually transmitted diseases. You may also be interested in this other article about What it feels like to make love without a condom.

Even though your boyfriend does not want to use a condom, it is important that you keep the following in mind:

Don’t let me force you to do something you don’t want to do.: many times, out of love, we make the mistake of doing what our partner wants, even though it hurts us or we don’t like it. In this way you will only end up hurting yourself, plus that would give rise to your boyfriend continuing to ask you to do everything you don’t like. He has to understand that a “no” is a “no.”Talk to him: especially when it comes to sex, it is very important to talk with your partner about everything we like and don’t like. We will not always be prepared to take such an important step at the same time as our partner. You both must agree on what you do, and the use of condoms is essential.Don’t be afraid that I’ll leave you for saying what you think.: This fear is very common, but you don’t have to let it paralyze you. Your opinion is just as important as his, so ask him to listen to you and understand why you think differently.Alternative methods: If you finally both agree not to use condoms in your relationships, look for another contraceptive method with which you both feel comfortable. If you do not know all the ones that exist, you can visit a gynecologist or your family doctor to guide and help you.

Now that you know the answer to what do I do if my boyfriend doesn’t want to use a condom, you may also be interested in this other unCOMO article about What it feels like to make love for the first time.

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