Understand why men lose sexual interest

You get home after a tiring day at work, take a relaxing shower and get ready for a long night of lovemaking. A kind of reward. He just forgot to agree with the citizen with whom he shares the bed. He lays down, rolls onto his side, and soon he’s snoring. Patience! But after the scene repeats itself for the umpteenth time, two basic questions assail her: “What’s wrong with me?” and “Does he have another one?” Surprise: we listened to specialists in love relationships, couple therapists and sexologists, and the conclusion they reached is that, most of the time, it is neither one nor the other. Disinterest in sex tends to be a symptom, yes, but it could be his problem and not involve the existence of a lover.

Unemployment and tribulations at work aggravate the situation
But the opposite also occurs: in some cases, excessive dedication or even professional success leaves no mental space for sexual desire to emerge. Psychotherapist and sexologist Ronaldo Pamplona da Costa, from São Paulo, observes: “Many men associate what they are experiencing in the profession with sexuality. Thus, any fact in the sphere of work, good or bad, interferes with the behavior of the majority”, says he, who is the author of books on sexuality, such as OS ONZE SEXOS (GENTE). Embarrassed to say no, they invent subterfuges. Coming home from work very late is the most common.

Another circumstance that can inhibit male sexual desire is pregnancy.
Either there is the (unfounded) fear of hurting the baby, or it is the sacralized image of the mother that he does not want to touch. Some women, moreover, experience motherhood in an exclusive way, leaving the partner aside. The doctor remembers a couple who attended. “After becoming pregnant and having a girl, the degree of her love for the baby was such that, without realizing it, she relegated her husband to the background”, he reports.

Sometimes, the answer to the abstinence crisis lies in the dynamics of the couple
If the woman only knows how to ask for sex authoritatively, as a demand, or if she tends to disqualify her partner on a daily basis, her attitudes discourage libido. Complaints about changes in female appearance have also been heard in her office. The man is in a dilemma: how are you going to tell the woman that she has gained too much weight without scratching her sensitivity?