To what extent is sex important in a relationship?

Some people think that sex is overrated in a relationship, while for others there are many reasons why it is essential. Sex is an important part of a couple’s life, although it does not have the same importance for everyone. In reality, many of the problems that arise in couples have their origin precisely in the importance they give to sex or the amount that each one needs.

It may seem obvious, but over time people change and evolve, they begin to value other things. The vision you may have about sexuality can change too and that does not necessarily mean that it matters less and less.

sex and happiness

Studies show that couples who live togetherregardless of how old they are, who report higher levels of satisfaction in their relationship also have a good sex life. In addition, it has also been proven that couples who talk and spend time together have a better sex life.

On the other hand, it is more or less accepted among professionals who treat relationship problems that those who do not have sexual relations are unhappy, have feelings of frustration, depression, rejection, insecurity, difficulty concentrating and low self-esteem.

A “sexless” relationship is understood to be one in which sexual relations occur 10 times or less per year. Curiously, various studies have found that a large number of couples barely reach these figures. Other research has also revealed that couples who rarely have sex are more likely to consider divorce.

When it comes to sex there are no “normal” parameters

When assessing the importance given to sex, it must be clear that there is no “normal” measurement. when it comes to sexual encounters. Every couple is different. Some studies have found that happy couples have an average of 3 to 4 sexual encounters per month. But this depends on each couple and each person, on how the sexual drive is maintained over the years and on many other factors.

Besides, The importance of sexual relations can change and fluctuate over time. Within relationships, the importance of sex transforms and the way of practicing it as well, as do the rest of the couple’s relational aspects.

Therefore it must be considered that The most important thing is to continue exploring how sex fits into the relationship over time, what can vary and what type of relationship exists. If things like communication or spending time together have changed, your sex life probably has too.

Some tips to rekindle passion in a couple

Although the amount of sex and how varied it may be is not something that a couple should determine (as you will read in the following sections), some people find themselves at a time when they want to rekindle the passion of previous times. Therefore, here are some tips that are useful in this regard:

Look for moments of intimacy with your partner. Break with routine and monotony: find new positions, places, toys, etc. Talk about sex with your partner. Maintain physical contact. Never pressure or force relationships: they must arise in the moment , not the result of a lack of respect.

You don’t have to feel guilty

You should not feel guilty for asking for what you want or for not wanting something that the other person demands.. Communication is essential. Many people may reject sex simply because it no longer satisfies them or because there is something they don’t like. Talking about it is the best way to solve it.

For a relationship to work when it comes to sexuality, it is necessary to understand each other, talk without feeling guilty. Only in this way can relationships be truly pleasurable and, consequently, their frequency will increase, forming a circle that feeds on itself.

The oversexualization of relationships

This guilt usually has roots in social conventions where polarized ideas are raised. “Sex is good and essential in a couple”, “the more the better”, “you have to continue having sex every day even if you have been married for years”.

Therefore, what is exposed in the new currents and approaches to sexuality is that it is another factor of compatibility in couples. That is to say, It’s not so much about being very active or less, but about finding someone similar to that.. If it’s a lot, good, if it’s nothing, too. You have developed this idea below.

Another approach to sex as a couple?

Natalia Tenorio (2012), professor of sociology at the Metropolitan Autonomous University of Mexico, tells us in her article about the changes that have occurred in terms of sexuality within the couple. She distinguishes between “traditional” couples and “modern” couples..

The traditional term is used in reference to those couples who only have sex with each other, and the concept of a modern couple uses it to designate couples with sexual freedom. That is, either of the two can have extramarital relations (clarify that the concepts “traditional” and “modern” is a mere designation, it does not carry any pejorative nuance).

This author comments that sexuality has changed and has gone beyond something purely reproductive: “ we see how sex for pleasure is an integral part of the modern couple; but it is not only included in this research as part of life as a couple, but also It is part of the construction of the selfand in this way it is also exercised outside of the love relationship“.

“The practice of sexual relations outside of free union or marriage is not, however, a topic that is widely and openly discussed among couples,” he also comments. “It is not something that is present, neither in speech nor in practice, in most couples. “.

Despite the author’s current analysis of changes in sexuality in couples, she highlights that, despite there being couples who maintain consensual extramarital sexual relations, it is not the most common. After all, despite the changes that may occur in some areas, We all like to feel wanted, loved and to feel that someone cares about us and that we have that little corner of privacy and exclusivity. of which only we are participants.

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