The ladder of my life

The ladder of my life… When I was born I did not pretend to know oceans or continents. I just wanted to feel the touch of my mother’s comfortable arms and the rich taste of her love. I never intended to climb steep walls, brittle cliffs, or forbidden hills. I was just trying to crawl on the floor and hit rattles.

Later I had to go to school, learn letters and numbers and do homework, when all I wanted to do was play and imagine my dreams coming true. And so life went, like that of any other child anywhere else, with its moments of crying and its moments of smiles.

I see myself climbing stairs that never end

White or black stairs, long or short, spiral or marble, wooden or stone, stairs after all. And the more I climb, the more stairs I find. When I think I finish and finally rest, I notice that there is one more to climb… and this never ends.

I try to rest, but in my dreams the stairs prevent me from doing so. And although I move faster and faster, they chase me and always catch up with me. They are relentless. Sometimes I hide, I hide between pillows, between wool blankets, but when I uncover myself, the stairs are there, watching me, reminding me that I have to climb them, whether I want to or not.

They are there for you to upload, and although I look away, they move along with my gaze. If I ask for a vacation, to take a break from it, these arise around every corner, with every call. And always, whether you like it or not, a new staircase appears.

They appear so much that I no longer know how to live without them, I need them and they know it…, and they know it so much that they record each other repeatedly to be passed on in my memory and to remind me that tomorrow there will be new ones.

I never wanted them, I always wanted to be a person who walked on a plain. I always dreamed of beaches and mountains, of a thousand places… I wanted everything easy, or at least not so difficult… Who said problems? Who said stairs?

The ladder represents all the difficulties and challenges in life

As a child I dreamed of spending hours at leisure, without obligations, without mortgages, without rushing, without shouting, without bosses and without problems. He dreamed of adventures, of mistakes and of writing poems.

Now, my life is a ladder, I go up and up and I never stop climbing. I look down and it makes me dizzy. I would like to leave the point of the staircase where I am, but there is no easy door that opens for me and all the signs indicate “keep going up” , So I go up and I keep going up. And when I look up I never see the end.

I can’t complain either, some climb it with backpacks loaded with stones and some others carry many others who can no longer climb them. I would like to be one of those, who I have heard that does not use the steps, but rather takes the elevator… “Oh my kingdom for an elevator!”

There are no shortcuts in life

Life, I have understood that it is a ladder, and I can choose to fight with it or to understand that its purpose is to climb through it. I have understood that everyone has one, some more difficult, others easier and that almost no one chooses their own ladder. I have understood that the only thing we can decide is how we climb the ladder, our ladder.

And it’s not that I like this one, much less want it… but I can decide if the ladder is my owner or I am the one who climbs it. Because the ladder is mine, and it will not defeat me, because I refuse to let it defeat me, I refuse to perish for it. Because I know that life is like the tide, it rises and falls, it comes and goes, sometimes it sounds like a storm and sometimes it sounds calm.

I’m not strong, but I’m not weak either.and even if it were so, I know that it’s not a question of strength; but of will, effort and struggle, of seeing in each step a moment, an instant, to see a detail that will always be part of me; and I’m going to live it, I’m going to feel it, and I’m going to enjoy it because Life is a continuous learning, without expecting to see much beyond what comes.

And I never asked for them but I no longer know how to live without them, without my stairs. If life is a long and eternal ladder, I will make my life climb it. And if I am to reach the sky, I will not stop until it takes me to the stars. Because I’m the one who has the ladder.

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