Do you feel bad for taking the initiative in your relationships?

Do you always take the initiative in your relationship, but this is not really something you want? This is usually a fairly common complaint and today you will discover how to learn how to try to put an end to this situation.

Taking the initiative in relationships is not a bad thing. However, if these types of situations cause discomfort or some type of discomfort, it is necessary to address it, since we may be taking 100% responsibility and preventing other people from doing their part.

It may also happen that Whoever we ask for initiative is comfortable in a passive role or perhaps your priorities are different. Be that as it may, the important thing is to analyze how we feel in each of the relationships in which we are participants. In this way, it will be easier to identify with which people we share the most connection and feel most comfortable and with whom we have the most difficulties when it comes to taking the initiative. Let’s dig deeper.

the force of the contum

The force of habit is very powerfulDarwin already said it. He makes us settle into a situation until someone gets fed up and jumps. This can trigger responses of rejection and bewilderment, since the person who doesn’t “jump in” is usually the one who never takes the initiative in the relationship. However, action can begin to resolve this.

Communicate what is happening: always with respect and being clear. We have to let the other know how we feel about the situation and that we want there to be a change.Allow the other person to express themselves: Knowing what the other person thinks and feels is also important. Likewise, this will allow an exchange of points of view that can lead us to the next point.Shuffle options: we have to find an option that suits us. So we can take time to think about some alternatives or, if we have time, discuss and exchange possible options at the moment.

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The important thing is not to make a radical change, but to start with small modifications. For example, the person who never takes the initiative can start proposing a weekend plan once a month. Later, this will increase. What we have to look at is whether he is doing his part and taking the agreement into action.

The frustrated change

If the other person continues to maintain a passive attitude, it may be their way of being.. Therefore, no matter how much she tells us that she is going to change and that “yes, next time I will propose it or I will be more active,” this will not end up happening.

In these cases, It is important to understand that this person is not what we expect and even if he tries to satisfy us by saying that he is going to do everything he can to change, it will not be that simple.

Article Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy: Overview of a Model with an Emphasis on Emotional Acceptance It explains very well this type of situations, very common in couple relationships. In fact, if having the initiative is something important to us, and this situation is going to make us angry or constantly reproach the other person for what they are not doing, It is essential to reflect on the relationship we have and the values that are important to us.

The interested call

Another important aspect that we must not overlook and on which we have to reflect is why we maintain those relationships in which having the initiative is not abundant. For example, although we have proposed meeting four times, the fifth time was that person. Why has this situation occurred?

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In the event that this contact, most of the time, has to do with, for example, going to get a degree at the University, doing something at the bank or going to a certain place where you do not want to go alone, We must question whether that call or message is not just out of simple interest. Isn’t it true that we suggest having a simple coffee, meeting to go to the movies or taking a walk to talk? Perhaps it is time to “clean up” our relationships.

Many times Having the initiative is something that happens in some areas, but not in others. Even some people do not have the initiative in any area of their life. If this frustrates you, is exhausting you, or causes you any discomfort, we encourage you to re-read this article and reflect on it.

In addition, Do not hesitate to go to a professional who will give you the appropriate tools to manage this situation in the best way for you..