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The psychological consequences of partner abuse

Abuse is an overwhelming experience for any human being. always leaves traces difficult or in some cases, impossible to erase. When it comes to a situation of partner abuse, the psychological consequences are usually very profound, especially if the damage comes from someone you love.

It is convenient to differentiate between psychological injury and psychological abuse. Mental injury is the result of a violent act. The set of sensations and emotions that are experienced immediately after being a victim of abuse. Psychological consequences, for their part, are the traces that remain in the mind when psychological injuries have not been adequately treated.

In any relationship you have, you don’t deserve someone who doesn’t love you, and even less so, someone who hurts you. And if someone hurts you repeatedly without bad intentions, he may deserve you but it is not good for you.”.

-Walter Riso-

Partner abuse, as well as domestic abuse, are the two types of violence that impact the most on a person’s life. The emotional bond is deep and that is why the situation of abuse tends to continue for a long period of time. The worst thing is that in many cases the violence is subtle or condoned by the environment or culture. So, it is not even recognized that there is a problem and that is why it persists for decades.

Partner abuse

Partner abuse manifests itself in many ways. One of the most brutal and painful is the one that involves physical violence. However, there is also a whole set of abusive behaviors that appear almost invisible to the eyes of others.

Partner abuse is expressed in behaviors like the following:

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Teasing and ridicule against the beliefs, appearance or opinions of the abused person.Constant pointing out of errors and messages to indicate that the other does everything wrong, or that they have defects at all times.Manipulation to make the other feel guilty. He is blamed for not living up to expectations and is punished with silence or anger.Denial of the existence of abuse. If the victim seeks to talk about the issue, the aggressor refuses to engage in dialogue or does not recognize that her actions cause harm.Isolation from friends and family. This includes jealousy, criticism of friends or family, annoyance at social encounters, etc.

In all these behaviors the common point is the desire for control over the partner.. The abuser always tries to impose himself and override the other, even if he does it in a subtle way. In fact, you don’t need to shout or say strong words to exercise these forms of partner abuse.

The consequences of abuse

Partner abuse leaves psychological consequences in different areas of life. The traces remain in the body, in the mind and in social life. Although each case is different and each person reacts differently, the consequences are more or less the same.

The main consequences of this type of situation are:

Psychological consequences. They mainly have to do with damage to self-esteem. In fact, those who have little self-esteem have a higher level of risk of falling into the hands of an abuser. Feelings of guilt and helplessness appear, as well as states of anxiety and depression.Physical consequences. The most frequent physical consequences are sleep problems, digestive disorders, headaches, hypertension and respiratory disorders.Social consequences. The most common thing is that the victim of abuse isolates himself. He begins to stop seeing his friends and later his family, as he feels unworthy and ashamed. Also, of course, so as not to bother his partner, who is usually suspicious of these encounters.

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It’s important pointing that For abused men the situation is usually a little more complex. Society is still very sexist and it is frowned upon for a man to allow himself to be mistreated by his partner. So they often hide it and are even reluctant to admit it to themselves. That’s why they are a little more likely to get sick and develop addictions in response to their hidden pain.

To do?

Experiencing a situation of partner abuse generates great confusion, especially at the beginning. The usual thing is that strong ambiguities begin to emerge in feelings, attitudes and thoughts.. She loves and hates herself. She feels irritation and, at the same time, justifies the other’s behavior.

It is never easy to face the fact that the person we love is also a source of problems so serious, that perhaps the only way out is to leave it. All of this is part of the perverse dynamic of partner abuse.

The most difficult thing to get out of this type of situation, which is always very harmful, is to take the first step. And the first step is to accept that you are in a relationship in which there is partner abuse.. Having accepted this, the next thing is to face the fact that this situation is not going to disappear by itself and that, therefore, it is necessary to ask for help. The ideal is psychotherapy, since very deep elements are probably involved.

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