Can long distance relationships work?

Long-distance relationships can be very difficult for many couples. Love and distance are two concepts that almost never go hand in hand. And the thing is, when you start a relationship with someone, there always has to be a physical closeness, a need to be with the other person, to touch them, to feel them and hug them.

However, If one party has to separate from the other for work or personal reasons, one way or another, the relationship is bound to change., to adapt to new circumstances. A big dilemma arises here. Continue with the relationship or refuse this change and end it.

The problems of long distance relationships

It is a fact that Long-distance relationships entail a series of difficulties that the rest of the couples do not have to face. Among the most important are the following:

Absence of physical contact and inability to touch and feel the partner.Difficulties in communicatingboth for scheduling reasons (especially if the distance between them is very great) and for possible misunderstandings that may arise from not being able to see each other face to face.Uncertainty about whether it is a good decision continue the relationship from a distance. Thinking about your own well-being and that of the other person, about the future, about the suffering you may be experiencing… All of these issues can lead to considering the end of the relationship on more than one occasion.Jealousy and insecurityfear for what the couple may be doing in the place where they live, for the possibility that they meet other people who can offer physical closeness and company.Feeling of loneliness. After all, in a long-distance relationship your partner cannot accompany you to any type of event or share everyday life with you. In many circumstances, its absence awakens the feeling that you are alone.

Can long distance relationships work according to psychology?

There are those who categorically affirm that a long-distance relationship is doomed to failure, infidelity and suffering. However, it has been shown that Not only can these types of links work, but they can even be of better qualityat least in certain aspects.

For example, The intimacy created between couples at a distance can be greater, as they are forced to communicate deeply and make self-disclosures more frequently. Now, the success of the link will depend on different factors:

The separation time. Since separating for a couple of months is not the same as separating for a few years or even indefinitely.The distance between the members of the couple. And in some cases a trip of a couple of hours is enough to be able to meet again, while in other cases there is an ocean in between.The stage in which the relationship is. A bond that has just begun, in which the commitment is still weak and the need to be physically with the other is intense, is not the same as one that has been consolidated over the years and already had a common project before the separation. .The maturity of both It plays a fundamental role, since empathy, emotional stability and a lot of clarity are required to carry out a relationship of this type.

How do you know if a long distance relationship is working?

In these cases, it is quite common for distance to confuse us. Longing and frustration at not being by our partner’s side can take over us and make us doubt the quality of the relationship. Is it really working or should we give up everything?

To answer this concern, we can rely on the following signs that indicate that the long-distance relationship is on the right track:

You trust your partner. You are sure that, even if your partner is far away, he will know how to respect the agreements (explicit or not) that define the relationship. For example, you will trust that he will not commit infidelity, that he will be sincere with you, that he loves you, etc.You feel loved. Your partner makes you feel that he loves you and supports you, despite the distance. You have common projects. They both project a future together, have joint life plans and are working to achieve them.They communicate constantly. Good communication is a fundamental pillar in all relationships, especially those that are carried out at a distance. If this aspect fails, so does the relationship.You respect the agreements. Just as you trust your partner to respect your couple’s agreements, so do you.

How to make a long distance relationship work?

And you? Do you think the distance relationships they are complicated? Have you just lost your partner for a long time but still think you can fight for your love? So perfect. Here are some tips that will help you keep your relationship more alive despite the distance.

The return of one of the parties is necessary

Sometimes it happens that one of the members of the couple is forced to move for professional or personal reasons. However, The item must have an “expiration date”. It doesn’t matter if it’s a month or a year, but the couple has to meet again after that time. In this way, passion and lost time can be recovered.

On the contrary, if this departure is practically definitive, unfortunately the couple will not have much of a future. The only way to get back to it is for the couple to get together and start a new life somewhere else. But, If both parties live permanently apart, sooner or later the flame of love will go out. Although this does not have to be the case, at least this is what happens in the majority of cases.

On the other hand, it is necessary establish a visiting plan whenever possible. An organization in which both members of the couple can see each other and meet again (even if for short periods) before the final return. It is preferable that these visits be frequent and not occur every too often.

Distance relationships: Don’t let yourself be carried away by sadness or abandonment

If you have made the decision to continue with the relationship despite the distance, There is no choice but to accept the situation. So, when you are separated, try as much as possible to dedicate time to yourself and socialize with other people apart from your partner. In short, have more time for those hobbies that, for one reason or another, you couldn’t do with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

This way, you will not become an emotionally dependent person, and when he/she returns, you will be able to enjoy the reunion in a healthier and more intense way. First of all, You have to be patient with long-distance relationships and know how to adapt to the new situation as soon as possible.

If you don’t take care of yourself during this time, you will likely you end up blaming your partner for your dissatisfaction and unhappiness. This will only generate conflicts between you and may end up leading to a breakup. For this, take charge of yourself.

Despite the distance there must be communication

The separation itself does not mean that you stop talking to each other completely. In long-distance relationships it is normal for there to be less contact. For this reason, It is very important that, as far as possible, a certain routine is followed when communicating (at the end of the day for example) to tell each other the small or big things that happened during the day. In this way it is ensured that the relationship does not cool down and fall into oblivion.

Likewise, it is also necessary to tell each other everything that bothers you related to your partner. And it is that, Distance can cause the slightest problem to become the spark that finally ends the relationship. With the rise of the Internet, social networks and videoconferencing, it is much easier to maintain contact with that person we love so much.

A study published in Journal of Communication and carried out by researchers from the University of Hong Kong (China) and Cornell (USA) can help us adopt this positive attitude. According to their conclusions, Long distance relationships can be more successful than conventional ones.

They are based on the fact that missing the other increases our passion for him or her, and also favors that “intimate idealization” of the other, even when fewer daily interactions are maintained. Researchers attach great importance to new technologies, since they consider them essential as a means of communication that allows them to maintain the feeling of closeness and the success of the relationship.

Trust is essential

When it is not possible to see your partner regularly or be part of their daily life It is essential that there is good trust between both. Many people who are in a long-distance relationship begin to experience jealousy, scold their partner and even ask them to limit their social life for fear of cheating. And this is extremely harmful.

Emotional responsibility helps long-distance relationships work

Just as it is not positive to distrust your partner or limit them to spend all their time on video calls with us, we cannot ignore them either. Physical distance does not give us the right to forget that we have a romantic bond with someone and that, therefore, we have a responsibility in this regard.

Just as we enjoy love and good times, We must be available to listen to the fears and concerns of the coupleprovide comfort and tranquility and, ultimately, take care of your emotions.

New ways of loving

In a long-distance relationship we cannot share kisses, hugs or caresses, we cannot have sexual intimacy. However, this It should not prevent us from showing the affection we feel for our partner.

As we have mentioned, the Internet and social networks offer us numerous possibilities in this regard: a video call can make us feel closer, sexting can be fun and even sending a surprise package to the couple’s home can help us show that love. So it’s about being creative. to keep the illusion alive.

Conclusion, Always try to see the positive side of this new situation. And, who knows? Perhaps the distance and the respective encounter later cause the relationship to strengthen much more. Do you think this is possible?

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