Melancholy, the happiness of being sad

The writer Victor Hugo said that “melancholy is the happiness of being sad.” The truth is When we feel melancholic, our mood is usually associated with sadnessalthough what we are remembering are good moments from the past.

Melancholy without memory is not possible. It is a feeling that reminds us that we are missing something, that it was there, that it was good for us, but that we can no longer get back.

“All changes are more or less tinged with melancholy because what we leave behind is part of ourselves.”

-Amelia Barr-

Melancholy and pain

When we feel melancholy we remember trips, moments, people or experiences and we come to think that “any past time was better.” Because When someone feels melancholy they are really suffering from something they can no longer have.

Melancholy is a form of permitted pain, that is, we remember something or someone that is no longer with us. That hurts us, but it also makes us think that he is ours, that he belongs to us, even if it is only for a few minutes and is lodged in our memory bank.

“Man could not live if he were completely impervious to sadness. Many sorrows can only be endured when he embraces them, and the pleasure experienced in them naturally has a somewhat melancholic character.”

-Emile Durkheim-

But melancholy is also a way of not accepting the present, of not being happy with what we have now. Because when we allow ourselves to travel with our minds to other places, to other spaces, to other times and we look for an unreal company, we unconsciously believe that it is something that we possess and that we cannot separate ourselves from it.

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When melancholy does not leave us

Melancholy occurs at specific moments, but it can become a problem when it settles into our lives permanently. It’s normal to feel melancholy one afternoon and look at old photographs; or listen to a song and remember a pleasant moment; or think about someone with whom we share our life.

However, When this behavior is repeated frequently, if left untreated, it can lead to depression.. It is, therefore, important to stop melancholy in time, recognize it and confront it to prevent it from leading to a much more serious problem.

“You must cry over your lost pains so that, little by little, they can leave you, and you can be free to live fully in the new place without melancholy or nostalgia.”

-Henri Nouwen-

Dissatisfaction is deep down

If our life is full, we do not feel the need to cling to the past

Feeling more or less melancholic will depend on the degree of satisfaction we have in our present. When you are happy, you do not need to evoke past times, nor think that everything could be different. Anchoring ourselves in the past is a way of losing ourselves in the present.
Sabina sang to this feeling. She said the lyrics of that song “I live at number seven, Melancholy Street, I have wanted to move to the Joy neighborhood for years.”. The transfer does not depend on anyone, other than ourselves.

Is it always negative?

No. Melancholy, as long as it does not become chronic, also has some beneficial aspects. Melancholy, when anchored in memories, What it does is, in some way, enhance memory. And sometimes it causes the information that comes to us to be processed in a more thorough way, making us more objective in making decisions.

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Also There seems to be a certain relationship between melancholy and creativity. And it improves communication with others, since a melancholic person usually arouses empathy. In short, melancholy, in its proper measure, is not negative.