People who hear, but do not listen

There are people who hear, who are physically present before us and who, however, do not listen.. Because hearing is not the same as listening, it requires that valuable ability to be receptive not only to the message issued by an interlocutor. In addition, it requires the ability to read gestures, decipher contained emotions and all that information that travels along paths far from words.

Let’s admit it, Sometimes, due to the lack of novelty or unresolved conflicts, it is complicated maintain an effective and satisfying conversation with all the people who are part of our daily lives.

We know that there are many wall people, those with an insurmountable attitude who do not give, nor do they pay attention, nor do they want to understand. However, there are others who seem accessible, even close, but we soon realize that their interest is not sincere and that they often lead to mere and false condescension.

Not knowing how to listen, Not practicing active listening generates not only high dissatisfaction. At a relational level the consequences can be as harmful as they are problematic. On the other hand, let us remember that in work settings, good communication is key to achieving objectives and to creating that climate where human capital feels satisfied, thus facilitating the conditions to give one’s best.

Once the framework is described, why is it so difficult for us to listen to each other as we deserve?

People who hear and don’t know how to listen, why does it happen?

Nothing erodes our emotions like not feeling heard when we need it or when we are simply communicating with someone. People who don’t hear don’t always have the face of a teenager or that boss who doesn’t care in the slightest what we have to say. In reality, this phenomenon occurs frequently among many of these close figures.

Jean-Paul Sartre said that incommunicability, as well as not listening, is the source of all violence.. In a way, that is actually the beginning of many of our problems. After all, those who do not listen to each other are almost condemned to fall either into indifference or into that disagreement that ends up generating distances that are often unbridgeable. Let’s see, therefore, what is behind those people who hear, but do not know how to listen.

Confirmation bias and cognitive dissonance

There are people who only listen to what they want. That means, for example, that they will only open their ears when we say something that confirms what they already know, believe or take for granted. Anything that does not fit your tastes or beliefs will not be attended to or taken into account.

On the other hand, cognitive dissonance is also a very common phenomenon in our communication failures. It happens very frequently in our relationships: When we are angry with that person, it doesn’t matter if they are right in what they are telling us.. The mind rejects dissonant data and tries to be faithful to what it feels ‘If I’m angry with you, you won’t be right in anything you say’

The narcissistic profile, people who do not hear because they only listen to themselves

The narcissistic personality is behind many of our frustrations when communicating. They are profiles that never address other people’s perspectives. The only truth is what they have, and if this were not enough, any conversation will be uninteresting if they are not the center. of any argument, anecdote or reference.

The suppressed anger that closes the ears

This is another factor that we should take into account. One of the reasons why people fail in our communication processes is due to hidden anger..

Sometimes, we don’t even need to be angry with the person in front of us. A bad day at work, for example, can cause us to stop practicing active listening with our loved ones. This is a reality that we must keep in mind.

They don’t listen because they are the ones who want to take the reins of the conversation.

Most of us have encountered those profiles characterized by excessive verbosity on more than one occasion. It is common and, above all, frustrating. They are those people who hear, who are before us but who do not listen because they are thinking about what they are going to tell us next.. His only desire is to take the reins of the dialogue and monopolize every word. What we can say in reality is of no interest.

What can we do about those who do not listen to us?

Whether we want it or not, there will always be people who hear and do not listen.. We will find them in almost any scenario. Now, the complicated thing is having someone with us who is incapable of being close, empathetic and sensitive. Let’s think that good communication is the main nutrient of coexistence. Without it, nothing flows, nothing is authentic, nothing serves us.

Therefore, To those who do not make the minimum effort to listen to us authentically and actively, we must let them know. We will make it clear to them, actively and passively, that we deserve and must be cared for and understood. If there are no changes, it is best to let them go for well-being and health. Emotional deafness in terms of communication leaves serious consequences. Let’s protect ourselves from it.

Let us therefore work every day to maintain adequate and satisfactory communication in each of our social settings. Let us be the best example, promote empathetic dialogue and set limits on those who are not willing to practice it.

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