Why do we justify ourselves?

Often, we we justify when when having a conversation with someone, our speech is, above all, about giving reasons or explanations for why we do or do not do things. Those reasons or explanations, they aim to clarify our intentions or reasons, however, they become justifications or excuseswhen they are extra, that is, when they wouldn’t be needed, since the interlocutor is probably not interested in them.

Sometimes we even emit them to keep ourselves calm, since we worry about what they may think about us. Our fear of giving a bad image leads us on a large number of occasions to give unnecessary explanations.. Maintaining a good appearance becomes such an important task that finding justifications and excuses to look good becomes a challenge.

How are justifications different from excuses?

Us We justify when we do something and give too many explanations. While we use excuses when we have not done something and we want to excuse our lack of action. But why do we do it?

Normally, we use justifications or excuses when we want to show security, or we want to give a good image from ourselves. However, without realizing it, We are showing our insecurity, seeking their pleasure or approval from others.

At that moment, the doubt, the uncertainty of what they will think and the insecurity they make us forget that We have the right to our own decisions, whether they please others or not, and we decide to make up or transform them in relation to the criteria that we believe others have.

How to stop doing it?

To stop justifying ourselves for what we do or making excuses for what we have not done, it is important, first of all, make the decision safely. We can also review the reasons for the decision, feeling certain that we have the right to make our own decisions, even at the risk of making mistakes.

That is to say, being authentic, being ourselves, much despite the others. Feeling completely free to be what we are and recognize our opinions and decisions. Each of us has our criteria on certain aspects of life. In this way, as long as we do not attack anyone, we have the right to act without giving explanations.

One of the assertive rights states that we haveright not to justify ourselves to others“. Although we can also find it written in other ways such as “the right to choose whether or not we want to give explanations.” Without a doubt, we enjoy the freedom of being able to make our own decisions without having to justify ourselves over and over again.

How can I explain my reasons without them being justifications and excuses?

On many occasions, when communicating a decision made, it is necessary and It is advisable to explain the reasons for your position. In this case, expressing why you have made the decision does not have to be a justification or an excuse, for this you have to consider:

That he reason is clear, concise and concise.Get straight to the pointwithout detours in your explanation.Expose the reason with security, forcefulness and as a certainty.Do not hesitate in the exhibitionnor add uncertain reasons. the explanation is relative to your decision, therefore interesting to the other person.

Why do we justify or excuse others?

Justify or excuse others It’s something we do frequently when we want to continue maintaining the image we have of the other person. O well, We want to get a third person to maintain a specific image of the person we justify.

Sometimes we look for maintain the image of a personalthough their behaviors do not match, because we need it or depend on it physically or emotionally. And what are the consequences of justifying or excusing others?

The main consequence of justifying or excusing someone is that We will never have the true image of who the other person is. By justifying or excusing it, We continue to maintain the image of who we want him to be, without discovering the type of person he really is.

And that, will lead us to suffer because who we want him to be, is not who he really is, so disappointment and physical, psychological or emotional damage is inevitable, even if we justify or excuse it, suffering is guaranteed.

How to stop justifying or excusing others?

To stop justifying or excusing other people, first of all, we have to learn to stop doing it to ourselves, with what this means for our self-esteem. This will make us feel more confident and satisfied with ourselves. Following this, We will learn to know people by their actions, attitudes and behaviors, and not so much by what they say or what we need to believe about them.