Affection as a persuasion technique – Psychology of Persuasion Course

Hello friends!

Continuing our Free Psychology of Persuasion Course, today we will talk about how affection is used as a persuasion tool. I think it is not difficult to identify how the process takes place, the difficult thing is to escape and not be persuaded.

First, it is important to define what affection is. In the dictionary, we find the following definitions for affection:

1 Affection. 2 Sympathy. 3 Feeling of love. 4 Friendship. 5 Inclination towards someone or something.

In many sales courses, we hear about a type of sale that is based on relationships, on affection, on a bond with the customer. The idea that the customer is always right brings a bit of the idea that the salesperson has to create a positive relationship with the person he is trying to persuade, because that way he will have much more chances of success.

So if we say affection, relationship, getting the customer to like you, creating empathy – we are saying the same thing, okay?

Affection and Persuasion

You know when you go to a store and a salesperson treats you very well. So good that you end up buying a product (which you weren’t so sure about buying) and feel a certain discomfort after leaving the store, as if you were saying to yourself: “I shouldn’t have bought it… but the seller was so nice… I didn’t want to. disappoint you…”

If you can remember a moment like that, you’ve fallen under the affection persuasion. Not being able to say no because the seller was pleasant, attentive, affectionate, treated you well is the sign that persuasion has taken place, based on affection.

Of course, we are not always going to have that feeling of disappointment when buying a product or service from someone we like, but when we leave the store disappointed with ourselves because we bought it just to not displease someone so nice, it becomes more evident how affection was involved in the buying process. purchase.

The biggest US car salesman – according to the Guinness Book of Records – said in an interview that his biggest secret for his astronomical sales was that he never tried to sell a car. Whenever he had the opportunity to make a sale, he simply sought to build rapport. In other words, he sought to create affection with the client, tried to get to know him, understand what he needed and even learn more about his work and family.

In this way, he was able to create an even greater relationship. Not just with the person standing there in front of him, but potentially with the new buyer’s entire family. And he managed to do it so well that the new salesman would refer him to his friends and family when they needed to buy a new or used car.

friendship sales

Have you noticed how companies that sell cosmetics in Brazil like Avon, Natura, Boticário, Mary Kay, Jequiti have created a door-to-door system? This sales style is not new. It has been used for many decades in the United States by several companies. One of them is the famous Tupperware.

Tupperware’s model may be a little different, as they urge dealers to host meetings at their homes and invite their friends. As there are foods and drinks, the strategy manages to gather other tools of persuasion such as reciprocity and, by bringing together several well-known people, it also falls into the persuasion of social approval.

But the most important weapon of persuasion is affection. See the account of a Tupperware buyer, as described in Cialdini’s book:

“It’s gotten to the point where I hate being invited to Tupperware meetings. I have all the pots I need and if I needed more I could buy another brand cheaper in a store. But when a friend calls I feel like I have to go. And when I get there I feel like I have an obligation to buy something. What can I do? It’s for a friend!”

When she says it’s for a friend and that she feels an obligation to buy it, we have the link between friendship (affection) and persuasion (the feeling that she has to buy).

In the case of Brazilian companies Avon, Natura, Boticário, Mary Kay, Jequiti, the system is not identical, but it is true that sales are very high due to the fact that they are carried out by well-known people and probably friends. It is easy to see the influence of friendship when a woman buys a product, after casually looking at a magazine from one of these companies, because it was her friend who offered it to her. She buys it with some kind of retribution or even help for her and justifies the purchase by saying that it’s cheap, that it’s on sale or that she really needs that item.

It may even be true that it is on sale and that the item is out of stock, however, we see how these companies profit from their affection-based sales method if we think that it would take a while for them to travel to a physical store.

Conclusion

In the case of persuasion through affection, we can see two aspects that are intertwined:

– Persuasion by creating affection and persuasion by referring a friend. The second, referred by a friend, is similar to what we called social approval in an earlier lesson. But it is so intertwined with affection that we need to mention this modality as well.

For example, I may be able to persuade someone (to buy something, to donate to charity, to agree to a request), out of friendship, companionship, affection that person has for me. But I can also make a person smug if a third party mentions my friendship with them.

This last modality can even be seen on Facebook, when a page appears on our timeline saying that such and such friends liked the page. That is, there are indications of certain friends so that I can also like the page. Telling me to like is similar to telling me to buy a product or service. As I said, this type of persuasion is somewhere between affection (the friend who liked or bought it) and social approval (I buy or like it because they also liked or bought it).

Finally, I would like to give one more example. I’ve read in some books that persuasion through affection is complicated in large companies. Imagine that you have a small business in your neighborhood and you know the names of all your customers by heart. After all, you see them every day and you know them from the neighborhood, so it’s easy to know all the names. Saying one’s name is also a tool for creating affection, as one’s own name is the sweetest word for the ego, according to self-esteem experts.

So for your small business it’s simple to create the affection and bond of friendship with everyone, right? But what if your company serves the entire city? And if it serves people all over the state and if it serves virtually the entire world via the internet? How to create affection with so many people?

Well, yes it is possible. The example I would like to mention is that of the American company Amazon. When I bought my Kindle, I had a little trouble setting up Wi-Fi. I entered the site, searched for my question and found the answer. The options at the end were: receive an email or a call to solve the doubt. I chose to receive a call.

In less than a minute, an attendant speaking Portuguese with an accent helped me step by step to start using my ebook reader. Fantastic, isn’t it? This is creating affection. From affection, the customer is satisfied. Satisfied, he recommends it to his friends (as I am doing now, lol).

Questions, suggestions, criticisms, comments, please write below!

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