Science confirms it: there are people who consume our energy

Vampires exist, but not how literature and cinema have shown them to you…

We usually call them viral people or emotional vampires. Are profiles that infect us with their negative emotions to the point of draining our energies, leaving us exhausted, with headaches and wrapped in the ashen veil of discouragement. For scientists, these types of dynamics can completely undermine our psychological well-being due to the curious impact they have on the brain.

It is striking how popular psychology always likes to use terminologies that describe certain behavioral processes very well. Calling those people who, due to their behaviors, words or attitudes, lead us to an indefinable discomfort, “emotional vampire” is a good metaphor..

“If someone is looking for a bucket to throw their garbage, don’t let it be your mind.”

-Dalai Lama-

However, any expert on the subject will tell us that in addition to stealing our energy – which they do and this has been scientifically proven – what they also manage to do is infect us with their own emotional state. Let’s take an example: a new colleague arrives at our workplace. As we get to know him we realize that he never talks about anything positive that has happened to him, that he is always in a “complaining state.”

When we are with this person, and despite almost constantly asking ourselves what “Why do I have to listen to these things?” We cannot help but be infected by that negativity that characterizes it, to the point of seeing how our work productivity sometimes decreases. In fact, there are interesting studies that They call these types of people “bad apples.”

What happens in your brain when your energy is “stealed”

To understand what happens, when day after day we have to interact with or be close to a victimizing, negative or simply exhausting person, we are going to take a short trip to the past. Think that Our brain, due to those things that natural selection has, is programmed to understand sociability and contact with our loved ones not only as something positive, but necessary. Thus, what our ancestors did to increase their chances of survival was to form nuclei of several individuals.

Therefore, we need other people to feel good, to relate and create meaningful bonds. When we do this our brain releases oxytocin. However When we fail to “attach” to someone, when what we receive is a certain hostility or distrust, what the brain then releases is cortisol., the stress hormone. In this way, a very specific sensation will dwell in our minds: that of threat.

Likewise, we cannot neglect what happens in that sophisticated network of interconnected cells that make up our system of mirror neurons, aimed not only at registering and processing each person’s facial expression or their body language. Which also often causes us to be infected with those same emotional states of those around us. Likewise, scientists also tell us that There are those who are more sensitive than the rest to this “impregnation”hence little by little, a poisoned cocktail is formed for our own health and psychological balance.

Thus, the effect of chemical stress on our brain caused by a feeling of permanent threat combined with the contagion of negative emotions that we receive from others, causes us to have a single and persistent desire: to escape.

What to do to maintain a good energy level

We would love to be able to tell you that to deal with emotional vampires or energy-stealing profiles, just stay away from them. However, it is little more than a euphemism, because if there is one thing we all know, it is that Few can leave their job just because there is a “bad apple” in it.. Nor can anyone distance themselves forever from that mother or brother who takes away our desire, happiness and energy every time we meet them.

“It is strange how lightly the wicked believe that everything will turn out well for them.”

-Victor Hugo-

A good book to learn about the subject and where to continue delving into scientific studies is “Emotional Contagion, Studies in Emotion and Social Interaction” . In it, It is explained to us that the best thing in these cases is to learn to be “impermeable” to this type of interactions in order to safeguard physical and emotional well-being.

3 keys to conserve your energy

You have defense mechanisms to control them. A very effective way in which we should train ourselves is by “deactivating” the impact they may have on us. For example, do not hesitate to repeat to yourself as a mantra: “They will consume my energies as much as I allow them to.”Rationalize. There are people who have the insistent habit of only talking about negative things, about how badly life is treating them. One way to stop them is by assertively rationalizing: “instead of complaining, react against everything you don’t like,” “I would like you, just for once, to be able to talk to me about positive things.”Learn to say “no”. This strategy is as simple as it is effective. From now on, tell your emotional vampire “that you don’t have time to listen to his criticism, that you refuse to be a participant in rumors and that you refuse, above all, to be mistreated in any way possible.”

To conclude, there is a moment when one must become aware of one’s own needs to prevent others from parasitizing one’s life and calm.. Since it is not always possible for us to surround ourselves with people who bring us balance and happiness, let us therefore learn to handle those who bring us hurricane-force winds with respect and maturity, but also with the firmness that comes with knowing what you want.