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11 sure ways to know someone’s true character

The personality characteristics of us human beings are, in general, difficult to assess. However, over decades and decades of research, psychologists, neurolinguists, sociologists and other behavioral scholars have come to some curious conclusions that make it possible to predict, with a good deal of precision, the behavior of people.

Scientists at an institute that studies character (The VIA Institute on Character) in Ohio (USA) for many years investigated the human personality. They believe that there are no good or bad characteristics, but strong and fragile. The strong ones contribute to our growth, while the fragile ones diminish us and make us unhappy.

O awesome.club he reflected on this theme and, after analyzing the experience of popular psychologists, prepared illustrations about life.

Check out some of these features:

1. The person imitates an idol

For children and teenagers, imitation is a normal way of socializing. Defining their attitude towards the world around them. They, more than anyone, need a role model. With age, a healthy and strong personality stops copying other people and ends up finding itself. If an adult person goes on looking for idols, then his character has not yet formed. The cases of fanaticism and the complete replacement of their own identity are called “celebrity imitation syndrome”, which affects approximately 15% of humanity.

2. Inability to face difficulties face to face

Most of us know what it means to feel ashamed and shy, especially at important and crucial moments in our lives. But some people, when faced with small difficulties or in boring situations, try to hide as much as possible. They even instinctively shrug their shoulders and “shrug” their head, as a sign of shame. Psychologist Bill Knaus called this behavior ostrich behavior syndrome, which floods the person with fear and insecurity, preventing them from realizing their dreams and moving forward with their goals.

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3. Fixation on yourself

People usually put photos of their family members, pets or simply pleasant family moments in their homes. But if someone fills your home with their own photos and looks in the mirror constantly or looks, in every free moment, at the amount of likes they receive on social networks, it is most likely that before you is a typical case of histrionic personality disorder. .

He is characterized by self-admiration, an insatiable thirst to capture the attention of others, and a need for others to admire him. The main weakness of these people is that they are very easy to manipulate. All you need to do is make them feel important.

4. Fear of getting attention

Modesty is a good and useful quality as long as it does not prevent a person from continuing to be himself and having self-realization. Psychologist Barbara Markway believes that excessive shyness is often confused with introversion. However, introverts, who prefer solitude, do not shy away from communication: they simply choose it more carefully, while shy people suffer from low self-esteem, fear rejection, and restrict their real desires.

5. Criticizing other people’s achievements behind their backs

Clinical psychology professor Robert L. Leahy identifies three types of envy: depressive, positive, and hostile. Depression lowers our self-esteem and makes us feel like failures; the positive motivates us to be better; the hostile one provokes negative feelings and judgments of value towards the others. And if the first two types usually have a temporal effect and can even positively affect a person, the third forms part of the character and in a way that one has to face life. Instead of improving, one person begins to criticize and humiliate the other who has achieved results in order to appear to be better when comparing the two.

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6. Inability to insist on what interests you

It’s easier to nod than to argue. This is a good character trait inherent in flexible people, who know how to avoid conflict, but only if it does not interfere with their own interests. A strong individual protects his personal space and respects that of others, while someone with a weak character easily gives in to pressure and also tactlessly invades the space of those around him.

If you find it difficult to say “no”, psychotherapist Diane Barth recommends starting small: instead of denying it, learn to speak out about what you want. For example, if they offer you coffee, you can say: “thanks, but I prefer a glass of water”.

7. The habit of exaggerating and harming yourself

Self-harm is a very harmful defense mechanism. Many times, some children are affected by this, experiencing difficult moments, even though, sometimes, adults also perceive themselves in this state: they begin to exaggerate at the slightest difficulty, they blame themselves for mistakes, etc.

Excessive enthusiasm for dangerous sensations such as extreme sports and even a few simple taps with the fingers on the nose or nail biting can also result from symptoms of this same mechanism.

8. The fear of expressing emotions

To openly show your emotions, you need to have enough mental strength. There’s nothing shameful about crying, for example, if it doesn’t happen artificially.

Our culture encourages people (especially men) to hide feelings, as this is a symptom of politeness, moderation or ‘manliness’. But hiding behind a mask constantly means being afraid of being judged, and so many people end up isolating themselves from the outside world.

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9. Deny help

In difficult situations, it is sometimes smarter to look to friends and colleagues with more experience, knowledge and training for support. But for some people, asking for help means recognizing their own fragility.

In addition, establishing communication is also a task, so people who are insecure in themselves try to avoid teamwork. Gretchen Rubin, the author of the book The Happiness project (Happiness Project), considers that the ability to ask for help is one of the secrets of maturity.

10. Excessively justify one’s actions

Rationalization helps us find rational causes for the appearance of a negative situation and give emotions a chance. In this way, we calm our feelings with the mind so that we do not experience pain, fear, or regret. But, on the other hand, we deceive ourselves. Instead of addressing the problem, we convince ourselves that we are good enough and someone else is to blame. It is much easier to find a supposedly logical explanation for everything rather than trying to analyze our interior.

11. Frequent change of postures looking for a point of support

Lying expert Paul Ekman writes that if during a conversation the interlocutor shows a wide range of postures for no reason at all, this reveals general immaturity of his personality. A frequent change of support foot and foot positions shows a lack of firmness in character, low discipline and unreliability.

None of us is perfect! So if you saw yourself in one of the cases in our illustrations, this is very important, because you are able to honestly assess yourself and your shortcomings. Second, you’re willing to improve your personal characteristics, aren’t you?

Illustrator Inna Grevtseva exclusive to Incrível.club

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