The principle of coherence: harmony between what is said and done

The principle of coherence tells us that people strive, almost at all times, to be consistent.. One of our main needs is to take care of that harmony between what we say and what we do, between what experience has taught us and what the immediate moment demands of us. Now, it is true that we do not always achieve this and that this conflict generates discomfort.

Carl Rogers, famous humanistic psychologist, was one of the first to delve into the principle of congruence or coherence. In 1950, he defined it as an alliance between experience and consciousness. It would be, basically, the result of each thing experienced and what we have learned from them to act consistently. with our own scale of values, feelings and desires.

Many people come seeking help because they feel that they have completely moved away from their “ideal self.” Their reality has lost meaning because they see a clear difference between what they want and what they do, between what they feel and what they receive.

If Rogers cared to delve into this concept it was for a reason. Something that can often be seen in therapy is inconsistency, the clear distance between what one needs and what one does for oneself. If the principle of coherence is broken, discomfort and suffering emerge. This is a sadly common reality that is worth dwelling on.

The coherence principle can sometimes be a source of problems

The principle of coherence has been studied, among others, by the writer and psychologist from the University of Arizona Robert B. Cialdini. One of his best-known books is undoubtedly Pre-suasion: a revolutionary method to influence and persuade. In this work, he delves into this theory to give us a new and interesting approach.

That nuance that Dr. Cialdini introduces is the following: Sometimes, in our attempt to maintain our coherence, we find ourselves in contradictory situations that are problematic. An example could be that we define ourselves as environmentalists and as people who are strongly committed to caring for the environment and yet we continue to use polluting energy.

Indeed, There are situations in which we experience a kind of social sanction for defending certain things and not being completely consistent with them. Likewise, all of this becomes even more complicated if we want to inspire others, if our desire is to reach other people through our values ​​and behaviors.

What can we do in these circumstances? Are we perhaps more incongruent than we think?

The principle of coherence and small dissonances

There are circumstances in which one cannot comply 100% with the consistency principle. We may not like arguments and disagreements and have to deal with them frequently. It is possible that we defend certain political ideas and have a partner who defends the opposite ones. We may love children but have decided not to have them.

Despite these apparent inconsistencies, there are a number of facts that we must consider. Take a look at this list:

Actually, a person can remain coherent despite apparent everyday inconsistencies. After all, as Carl Rogers himself pointed out, the principle of coherence uses each person’s own consciousness. That is, if I do not experience any dissonance, If my perception continues to see harmony between what I feel and what I do, there is no problem. After all, our environment is incredibly complex and we are forced to deal with every stimulus, every person, circumstance and unforeseen event as best we can.The essential thing is that, at all times, there continues to be an internal balance. There will always be situations that completely violate our principles, those in which we react with conviction to defend our coherence. Other times, we are forced to make small concessions because the benefits interest us and we maintain, despite everything, internal homeostasis (such as, for example, having a partner with other ideals but with whom coexistence is happy and satisfactory).

Despite the pressures, let’s be consistent

We are aware that sometimes our thoughts and behaviors are not aligned. This dissonance can occur occasionally without major consequences.

Now, the most harmful thing occurs when the principle of coherence is continually violated. Carl Rogers in turn relates it to the theory of the self, one of his most important contributions. The points to take into account are the following:

When we persistently fail to comply with the principle of coherence, there is a clear distance between the ideal self and the perceived self. That is to say, between what I do and perceive about myself and what I would like to be there is an abyss and that abyss generates suffering for me. Likewise, This lack of harmony ends up generating various mental strategies with which we strive (uselessly) to find a balance.. We build, for example, cognitive dissonances. They are internal conflicts that arise when we hold opposing ideas, which sooner or later leads us to end up justifying something that goes against our values ​​in a vain attempt to reduce psychological suffering.We also resort to complex defense mechanisms to appease these contradictions, completely useless strategies because all of this translates into a higher level of frustration and anxiety.

In conclusion, If we want to guarantee our psychological well-being, it is essential to take care of our principle of coherence. Doing so is an act of daily courage.

The healthy exercise of being and acting according to our values ​​at all times can be complicated at times, but this effort will guarantee that the self-esteem muscle is in top shape. Let’s try it.

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