keys to understanding and strengthening the “I”

Emotional fragility has nothing to do with emotional sensitivity. While we could define the latter as an exceptional quality of the human being, fragility responds above all to a lack of tools to manage our most complex internal states, as well as a clear difficulty in dealing with the simplest day-to-day difficulties. .

We first clarify the difference between these two terms for an important fact. Often, there are those who go so far as to normalize her emotional fragility by claiming that this is his way of being, his way of understanding and living life. “I am a sensitive person and I cannot change it” -they usually say in self-defense.

Well, we must understand that From the moment a behavior/attitude generates only suffering, insecurity and a lack of control over one’s own being, excuses are not valid, not when what we achieve is unhappiness.. Thus, while sensitive people have a broader vision of their reality and a way to better connect with their needs and their surroundings, people marked by emotional fragility have more limited emotional perspectives.

Furthermore, this trait is usually in many cases an indicator of some underlying problem: depressive disorders, anxiety, poor emotional management, etc. It is worth, therefore, delving a little deeper into this dimension.

Emotional fragility: causes and characteristics

The American College Health Association A few years ago he published an interesting work on emotional fragility. It explained to us a fact that is undoubtedly worrying: our young people have an increasing tendency towards depression, stress, emotional dependence and what is worse: suicide attempts. Behind this evidence lies a clear emotional fragility and a lack of resources when it comes to facing their most common difficulties.

Most of these psychological dimensions have their origin in parenting styles. Families in recent decades are aware that our society demands more and more capabilities to function in it. Something that has made parents intensify their efforts to complete their children’s education from a very young age.

They try to put the best resources at their disposal to guide them to success, sometimes forcing them to excel and often reminding them how special they are or are forced to be to succeed. All of this is certainly understandable, however, this approach ignores several details.

One of the most important is that they are protected against failure, so that many of them are unable to tolerate frustration, no matter how small. Furthermore, these children have difficulty learning to make decisions autonomously, they feel insecure and are very clumsy when it comes to managing their own emotions. Little by little, they realize that in the eyes of others they are not “so special.” and who lack skills, resources and strategies to be able to react to elementary issues.

Let’s see below what characteristics people with emotional fragility have.

How do I know if I am an emotionally fragile person?

In addition to those described, some of the characteristics that we find in people with emotional fragility are:

Inability to manage and understand emotions such as sadness, anger, disappointment… Your reaction to them is often exaggerated.Continuous feeling of emptiness.Feeling of overwhelm in the face of the simplest problems, in the face of disagreements, in the face of any circumstance that is not as one expects or desires. Inability to manage frustration. Difficulty in having control of one’s own life, feeling that everything is beyond them.Constant problems in your social relationshipsvision that everyone around them disappoints or betrays them. Low energy, apathy, constant melancholy.They appear insecure in almost any task, feeling ineffective and low self-esteem.When things are not as they expect, want or desire, they can react with anger or violence.

Strategies to strengthen the self and emerge as emotionally strong people

To understand this process in which we can become an emotionally strong person, we can visualize, for example, a porcelain cup. We know that it is sensitive, we can even see the stretch marks of some breakage already treated in its shape. However, that porcelain cup is anything but fragile, it is a unique piece wonderful in its shape, its material and its small imperfections.

Therefore, We can allow ourselves the right to be sensitive but never fragile. We will never cross that line where we let our entire self fragment into broken pieces through which our identity, values ​​and internal beauties escape. However, how to achieve this, how to get rid of those frailties that limit our happiness?

A first step is to become aware of our emotional weaknesses., of those voids that delimit us and that are the cause of our discomfort. Thus, and as curious as it may seem to us, there are works that support the usefulness of art therapy or art-therapy. It is a sensational way to explore our thoughts, emotions and internal knots through colors, canvases and drawings.A second step is to assume a sense of responsibility for oneself. Fragile people feel like victims of their environment, of society, of the people around them. They just react, like a ball that is hit against a wall and bounces again and again. Instead of reacting, we must act by taking the reins and defining a real and courageous sense of responsibility.This sense of responsibility in turn requires putting aside our past experiences and generating changes in the present. Every change is accompanied by a feeling of fear, but if we manage to avoid those stones on the road day by day we will perceive ourselves as more secure, masters of ourselves.

To conclude, it is clear that this process is not simple, sometimes requiring the help of a good psychologist. Faced with this intrinsic difficulty, let us remember that we always have time to rise as emotionally stronger people. Let’s mold our porcelain cup to make it a unique, strong and beautiful piece.

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