The most important theories of love

Love is one of the most complex feelings of the human being. and this is evident in the number of conceptualizations that have been made around it. Various specialists, psychologists, sociologists, biologists and more have developed different theories of love and, even so, it remains a difficult feeling to reduce to a theoretical explanation.

In this article We will show some of the theories of love that have had great recognition within psychology. It should be noted that this feeling is not exhausted in these explanations. Well, both psychology and other disciplines have equally interesting arguments that help complement these notions.

Theories of love according to psychology

Various theories of love have been formulated in psychology. Among the most recognized are the following:

1. Triangular theory of love

One of the most recognized theories of love is the one proposed by psychologist Robert Sternberg, who defines love based on three components:

Privacy: refers to the feelings within a relationship that promote closeness, bond, connection, trust, friendship and affection.Passion: it is the intense desire for union with the other. It encompasses feelings of physical attraction, sexual or romantic desire, and psychological arousal.Commitment: consists of the decision to love another person and the commitment to maintain that love. This component involves maintaining the relationship in good times and bad.

Combinations of these three components result in different types of love. For example, combining intimacy and commitment results in compassionate love, while combining passion and intimacy leads to romantic love.

According to Sternberg, Relationships that are based on two or more elements are longer lasting than those that are based on a single component. Additionally, he uses the term consummate love to describe the combination of intimacy, passion, and commitment. While this type of love is the strongest and most enduring, he claims it is also the least common.

According to Sternberg, for there to be true love there must be three components: intimacy, passion and commitment.

2. Compassionate love theory vs. passionate

According to Elaine Hatfield, a social psychologist and professor at the University of Hawaii, there are two types of romantic love:

Compassionate love: Also called complementary love, it is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, trust and affection. This type of love usually develops from mutual understanding and shared respect within the couple.passionate love: It is characterized by intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety and affection. When these intense emotions are reciprocated, people feel euphoric and fulfilled. On the other hand, when it is not reciprocated, feelings of dejection and despair occur. Hatfield suggests that this type of love is transitory and usually lasts between 6 and 30 months. After this period, he becomes compassionate.

Broadly speaking, passionate love is characterized by its intensity, while compassionate love is defined by its level of intimacy.

Nevertheless, It is important to note that people who are in compassionate love still feel passionate about each other, but the intensity generally feels less overwhelming and urgent. This type of love involves caring deeply for the other person, truly knowing them, and being committed to them, both in good times and bad.

3. The color wheel model

The psychologist John Lee, in his book The Colors of Love, presents another of the theories of love. There he compares love styles with the color wheel. That is to say, Just as there are three primary colors, Lee suggests there are three primary styles of love.. These are the following:

Eros

The term eros comes from the Greek word meaning ‘passionate’ or ‘erotic’. In this way, Lee describes this style as sensual, intense and full of passion. Erotic lovers seek sexual satisfaction and aesthetic enjoyment for both.

ludos

It means ‘game’ or ‘school’ in Latin. this kind of love refers to those who see love as a desire to have fun with each otherdoing indoor and outdoor activities, teasing, treating each other, and playing harmless pranks on each other.

They rarely if ever get too involved and can often have more than one partner at a time.

Storge

It comes from the Greek term meaning ‘natural affection’. This form of love often It is represented by familial love between parents and children, siblings and extended family members.. This type of love can also develop from friendship, in which people who share interests and commitments gradually develop affection for each other.

Additionally, Lee proposed that, just as primary colors can be combined to create complementary colors, These three primary love styles could be combined to create nine secondary love styles..

Thus, the following secondary loves arise:

Mania (Eros + Ludos): This type of love tends to lead the couple to a kind of madness and obsession. Manic lovers talk about their partners with possessives and superlatives, and feel that they “need” them. In excess, mania becomes obsession or codependency.Pragma (Ludos + Storge): It’s a convenient kind of love. Pragmatic lovers want to find value in their partners and ultimately want to work with them to achieve a common goal. The practicality and realism of pragmatic love often contributes to the longevity of the relationship, as long as common goals and values ​​remain shared over time. Agape (Eros + Storge): is derived from the Greek, for “selfless love.” . Lee describes agape as the purest form of love. It is based on unwavering commitment and selfless, unconditional love. The lover derives more pleasure from giving than from receiving. Additionally, he will remain faithful to her partner to avoid causing her pain and will often wait patiently for his partner after a breakup.

According to Lee, true love is blue, red and yellow.

Lee defines nine types of tertiary love that are combinations of the previous six types of love.. Each combination includes a primary and a secondary.

Manic ErosManic LudusManic Storgeagapic erosLudus agapicagapic storgePragmatic ErosPragmatic LudusPragmatic Storge

Although Lee named each of the tertiary types of love, never found enough evidence to completely distinguish them.

From these theories of love, We realize that not everyone experiences it the same way.. Even the same style can be experienced with different levels and intensity, hence the difficulty of limiting, in a theoretical explanation, this very complex feeling.

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