The End of Dating Isn’t the End of the World

It arrives at a point on the road that we realize that there is no alternative left. All hope is gone, plans no longer make sense, conversations and phone calls are painful. Nothing we can do seems to solve the things that are out of place, everything seems out of place.

The other day I read a sentence that said: “If the time comes to jump, don’t hesitate and jump without fear, without looking back.” A little over a year and a half ago, even with fear, I decided to jump, move on with my life and never look back.

Since then, after the breakup, I learned things that I never thought I would learn, I endured the longing that has now become just a memory that doesn’t bother or hurt. I learned to deal with letting go of someone I loved because, as hard as it was to admit it, it was the best decision to make.

You simply learn to deal with the fact that sometimes people don’t stick with you (and often it’s better that they don’t), relationships end, breakups happen and you have to learn, one way or another, to reinvent yourself because that’s life. It’s moving on, it’s learning to deal with losses, regardless of how that loss left you.

If you’ve been through at least more than one breakup, have you ever stopped to think that every end brings you a new way to learn to deal with what’s gone and see life in a more mature and secure way.

I’m not saying that breaking up with someone you love dearly is the best way to make you a more cautious and responsible person, but if you’ve gotten over at least one or two breakups, you should understand what I’m talking about.

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Endings help you understand that placing too many expectations on someone doesn’t make that someone more interesting to you, it just makes the other person a person based on your points of view.

Sometimes breakups leave you with that feeling of having lost direction and not knowing exactly what to do after the other person has left, but breakups also help you to find yourself again, to get back on your feet, to seek new paths within yourself, and so be ready for a new phase of your life.

We tend to think that we will never find someone again with those special characteristics that someone we love had. And maybe we’ll never meet again, but that doesn’t mean other relationships can’t be really good. Perhaps people are irreplaceable in their essence, but what dictates the tone, intensity and durability of the relationship is more the availability of the subjects than their personal characteristics.

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At a given moment you realize the simple fact that, even if you bumped into each other again, what you lived through passed. No more. You are no longer the same person, and the other person is no longer the same. You stop caring about the time you spent together, and even though that time still means something to you, that thing is now too small compared to what you seek.

Ending a relationship is not the end of the world. There will always be someone willing to do for you what someone else wouldn’t do.

Iandé Albuquerque