The dangers of excessive self-esteem

Excessive self-esteem is neither positive nor healthy. This excess of self-confidence, as well as the hypervaluation of the ego, very often leads to very problematic behaviors and attitudes. We see an example of this in those people who advance through life with an air of superiority, refusing to accept their own mistakes and in turn outlining the shadow of obvious narcissism.

We know that The topic of self-esteem is undoubtedly one of the favorites within the field of personal growth.. Every year numerous publications appear on the publishing market aimed at teaching us how to strengthen this psychological muscle that is so basic to our well-being. However, something that is not always emphasized is the somewhat darker side of this dimension.

For example, something that we must be clear about is that The antidote to low self-esteem is far from high self-esteem.. Any excess is dangerous and harmful. Thus, just because we are missing something we should not cover it in large quantities, because then, far from solving something, we will be giving shape to a new problem.

It is important to clarify, therefore, what we mean by healthy self-esteem. We live in a time where it is also common for us to be sold the need to maximize areas such as leadership, self-love, self-efficacy or self-confidence. But We must be clear that ‘the more the better’ is not always positive or appropriate. Let us therefore see where the limit of authentic well-being is.

What is a person with excessive self-esteem like?

One of the most interesting books by social psychologist Albert Bandura is undoubtedly Self-efficacy, how we face changes in today’s society. Something that this work makes clear to us is that aspects such as Perceived effectiveness and self-esteem are two key factors to overcome difficulties and achieve our fulfillment in each of our scenarios.

Now, among the most harmful dynamics that make it impossible for human beings to not only achieve their goals, but also happiness, is low self-esteem and excessive self-esteem. One is as negative as the other. Let’s get to know what a person with inflated or excessive self-esteem is like.

High self-esteem and a world without limits

There is an aspect that is frequently pointed out from the field of child psychology. Our children must understand early that the world has limits, that there are rules and that we do not always get what we want.. Tolerating frustration is a core subject in life and not doing so can undoubtedly lead to more than one problem.

There are many children and young people who are educated in the idea that they can have what they want. They are little emperors who feel worthy and have enough authority to do, get and have everything they want. Educate them so that they have that brilliant, inflated and oversized self-esteem, It leads them to carry out egocentric, abusive, arrogant behavior and lack of impulse control.

High self-esteem and its dangers usually have their origin in education.

Excessive self-esteem does not lead us to success or happiness

Beyond what we can think, tHaving a reserve of self-esteem at 200% will not make our engine take us to the summit of success. On the contrary:

High self-esteem makes these people think that many of the projects, tasks or jobs proposed to them are below their worth. This pride causes them to end up losing many opportunities. Their arrogance, the idea that they are worthy of everything they want, creates great distances with their social environment. Their accused ego creates great discomfort. They are blind to their own mistakes and do not learn from them. If they fail at something, it is the fault of others, never of oneself. At a relational level, they tend to act either as abusers or as those narcissists incapable of seeing perspectives other than their own. Something like this generates serious problems at an emotional, work, friendship level, etc.

Inflated self-esteem and crime

For a long time, criminal behavior was associated with low self-esteem. However, in recent years it has been shown that excessive self-esteem is also correlated with violent acts. As explained in a study by Dr. Robert Roy F. Baumeister, from Princeton University, The superiority of the ego is a decisive factor in many criminal acts.

There are many criminal profiles that are characterized by that dark triad where narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy go hand in hand with that high self-esteem that justifies and considers their adverse behavior valid. YesThey are people with an oversized sense of self and the awareness that they can have everything they want. The means to achieve it are unimportant.

As we can see, the reverse of self-esteem hides a certain darkness and danger to take into account. It is clear that low self-esteem has its risks, just as the other extreme does. The key is to achieve that perfect balance where we work on a healthy appreciation for ourselves, where, of course, the respect of others fits in..

Self-esteem is ultimately the art of self-care, never of the unhealthy excess that leads to narcissism.

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