The consequences of alcoholism in the relationship

Alcoholism in a relationship is a very erosive factor for the bond, and even for the family in general. This situation sometimes creates very complex situations in which rejection and violence are mixed with feelings of dependence and guilt.. Whenever one of the two has this disease, both end up participating in it in one way or another.

If there is alcoholism in the relationship, there is also a dilemma that torments and is rarely resolved. The non-alcoholic spouse will always be in the dilemma between helping to a person, who obviously needs help, or leave them to their own devices to solve their problem. In this framework, a bond is often forged that is very difficult to break, as it is based on mutual dependence.

Alcohol is a powerful drug, which destroys health and ends up completely changing the way a person thinks and behaves. As addiction progresses, values ​​seriously deteriorate. the meaning of life and the ability to communicate with oneself and with others. For this reason, alcoholism in a relationship is often devastating.

Some notes on alcoholism

Surely we have all heard it said, but it is never enough to remember it once again: Alcoholism is a disease. It’s not just a habit nor a passing episode What you live when times are bad. Usually it settles imperceptibly and gradually in a person’s life.

Its development is helped by the fact that alcohol is a drug socially accepted. In fact, many call it “social lubricant.” There are very varied spaces and occasions that have alcohol as a central guest. Therefore, we easily lose track of what reasonable consumption is.

If a person has many social activities, it is not surprising that he drinks frequently, but this does not generate any apprehension in those around him. What defines the alcoholic are basically two traits:

Once you have the first drink, you will It is impossible to stop until you are seriously intoxicated; When baby noticeably changes his way of being.

Alcoholism in a relationship

The predisposition Addiction is a reality that includes physical and psychological aspects. From the physical point of view, there are often genetic or functional circumstances that predispose to chemical dependence. From a psychological point of view, there is also a type of personality or a psychological condition that inclines to the development of addiction.

The most common thing is that a potentially alcoholic or drug-dependent person seeks as a partner someone who also has dependency traits.. If he is a man, he will look for a woman with markedly maternal traits. If she is a woman, she will look for a man of a protective type, between paternal and maternal.

In this way, an entire structure is installed that makes the existence and permanence of addiction possible. Alcoholism ends up becoming a factor that separates, but also unites..

Once it is detected that alcohol is causing problems, the nonalcoholic spouse is likely to try to protect, or overprotect, his or her partner. They need each other.

The deterioration of the relationship

When alcoholism is present in the relationship, The most common thing is that at first the husband or wife becomes a kind of accomplice to the other.. They will justify it to others when they have had too much to drink or they will be capable of lying so that they do not have problems at work. They may even help you get alcohol. That establishes codependency.

However, excessive alcohol consumption, sooner rather than later, ends up having a series of effects on the relationship. The affected person loses sexual desire or is unable to have normal sexual performance. His altered nervous system prevents him from doing so. In addition, Alcohol leads to progressive isolation. When the person is drunk, he really is not there. Not even during a hangover.

However, The most destructive thing is the fact that alcoholism usually activates aggressive or violent reactions. In many cases this leads to situations in which different forms of violence occur, including psychological violence. Generally, this is when the couple begins to feel overwhelmed by the situation.

This should lead to the breakdown of the relationship. However, often, that does not happen. The bond persists and is filled with hatred, resentment and compassion at the same time, on both sides.

The codependent with his actions prevents the other from assuming his problem and making decisions. The dependent uses the other as a means to not sink completely. It is a dramatic situation that requires professional help.

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