How to overcome the contempt of others: 5 key ideas

Throughout life, most of us complete the emotional spectrum. Furthermore, in many cases we also complete it in the second and third person, identifying this same range in others. Well, one of these reverse game emotions is the contempt of others. A perception that can be the source of truly intense suffering.

We can feel despised for comments, actions (or omissions), lack of respect… Now, When it comes to positioning ourselves, it is good to remember that the behaviors of others do not depend on us.but what to do next.

Contempt and how it affects us

According to the RAE (Royal Spanish Academy), despise means, literally, ‘to despise and despise’. Thus, a contempt is a dismissal, a lack of appreciation.

When they despise us we feel bad, and it is normal, even though we have learned to take emotional distance in situations where walking away can be a good option; reduce attachment to what is happening and position ourselves more as a spectator.

On the other hand, how we feel will also depend on the type of contempt, whether it is touching a sensitive issue in us, the person, the precedents, the intention we attribute, etc. Depending on these and other variables, we will feel contempt with more or less intensity or we will manage it better or worse.

That being said, the question is, what can we do when we feel unappreciated? In response, we leave you 5 key ideas that can help you when managing this type of comments or offenses.

How to overcome the contempt of others

How to overcome the contempt of others? We leave you 5 key ideas to face this situation and prevent it from interfering with your well-being.

Apply emotional self-control

Emotional self-control It is a capacity that allows us to manage our own emotions and impulses. It is normal that, when one feels despised, one reacts badly (sometimes even with violence). This is because our amygdala is activated, which causes us to react this way or become defensive.

However, emotional self-control allows us to locate these emotions, validate them, understand them and manage them in a healthy way.

Practicing self-control is not easy, and it takes time, but it is very effective when deciding how we want to manage the emotional impact of what happens to us.

Face the situation

Another key idea to overcome the contempt of others is to simply face the situation. Facing the situation involves deciding what space or place you want to give in your life to the person who has despised you.

It involves asking yourself: “What is this contempt based on?”, “Is it a contempt done with bad intentions?”, “Is it a one-time or recurring situation?”, etc. That is to say, It entails wondering what is really going on. and decide if you want that person in your life or not, if you want to talk to them about it or not, etc.

Empathize

It is normal to feel bad when faced with scorn. Nobody likes to feel unappreciated and, in fact, it is a situation that we do not have to tolerate. However, we can also learn something from it. And that learning derives from the reflection you make of the situation; to reflect on it, Try to empathize with the person who has despised you. Why do you think she did it?

Do you think that someone who is “well” has the need to despise others? Put yourself in his place, try to find out what is behind that behavior. Logically, this is a completely optional and personal step, since we will not have the same desire to empathize with someone very close and dear to us as with a stranger.

Give contempt the place it deserves

Does that contempt really say anything about you? Or the other person? It is important, when overcoming the contempt of others, be able to take emotional distance from the situation and reflectcoldly, about what has happened.

Do you think you are capable of distancing yourself from that contempt? Are you giving it too much importance? Reflecting on these ideas will allow you, over time, to give contempt the place it deserves in your life, no more and no less.

Frequently, a contempt says more about the actor than about the recipient, about the pointer than about the one who receives the shot..

Work on your self-esteem

We know that people who enjoy good self-esteem They also tend to be smarter. when managing criticism and expressions of contempt. It is more difficult for their emotional balance to be broken by an external action and therefore it is also more difficult for their response to end up turning against them.

Beyond everything mentioned (locating that contempt, understanding why it is hurting us, giving that person the space and importance they deserve in our lives), as strategies that can help us; the truth is If we do not have good self-esteem, the rest is of little use.

When it comes to overcoming the contempt of others, we do not all use the same actions to do so nor do we all “serve” the same thing. Ultimately, we are the ones who choose one response strategy or another, either following the ideas discussed or taking others as a reference.

It will be our emotional intelligence, but also our self-esteem or our communication skills that will make us move forward, make it clear to others the limits that they should not cross and not fall into the temptation of carrying out behaviors that make us earn the contempt of others. -although, sometimes, depending on the circumstances and who the others are, it may be inevitable-.

Remember that we are constantly learning and that what works for you today may not work for you tomorrow. The important thing is to be open to change and be able to face our emotions. so that they accompany us and do not interfere with us.

You might be interested…