7 pillars on which to build healthy love

There are seven pillars that support healthy love in a couple: respect, trust, honesty, support, equality, self-identity and good communication. For a couple to build healthy love, there must be reciprocity, giving and receiving love in the same measure, always taking care of each other.

Authors, such as Walter Riso or Jorge Bucay, explain to us the importance of showing gratitude in a couple for gestures of care and affection. that they have towards each other. Not taking them for granted and recognizing them will contribute to building, living and enjoying a complete and healthy love.

Sometimes it can seem like an impossible mission to find a suitable person, and for them to also think that we are suitable. So when it happens, we feel a great thrill, so that life’s little inconveniences seem to matter less. It is as if they became small in the face of such fortune.

On the other hand, in the early stages of a relationship it is common to see the world in rosy colors. A tone that is as fantastic as it is dangerous, since it can blind us and prevent us from seeing that the relationship is not as healthy as it should be. This way, It is important that a love be healthy from the beginning.

Assume responsibilities

Within every couple there are responsibilities. If something doesn’t work between two people, both of them are the problem and both have part of the solution in their hands.. Without it having to be in equal proportions, of course.

In this sense, it is not about thinking ourselves responsible for everything that happens or not assuming any mistakes. Rather, the question is finding a balance in the commitments that each one adopts and can fulfill. In this sense, A smart couple knows how to divide these responsibilities so that each person’s strengths shine.

To distribute these responsibilities, communication plays a fundamental role. Especially when we talk about making commitments or reaching agreements. Finally, when assuming responsibilities, another important point is to realistically evaluate what we can and cannot do. Maybe we can’t buy a very expensive gift, but maybe we can make it with our hands. We may not be able to pick the other up from work, but we can take them.

We are talking about a process, with different subprocesses, of constant growth. A process that will occur in the couple if the love is healthy, but also individually in the people who form it.

Learned behaviors

We all have an idea – before, while and after any relationship begins – of what our partner should be like. Just as we have the idea of ​​how our friends or family should be. Furthermore, most of us, When we have a partner, we tend to compare them with their “double ideal” and do everything possible to make them conform to it..

In this distance, the one between the ideal partner and the real one, there are usually those attitudes, thoughts or behaviors that bother us about the other. Well then, For the couple to work we are going to have to accept a good part of the contents of this drawer. With some elements we can reach agreements, but with others we will have to accept them or change partners.

In this sense, the fact that both people have adjusted their tolerance levels to the reality they share will be essential for healthy love to continue growing. On the other hand, Proposing changes intelligently, without falling into the temptation to manipulate the other, will contribute to the growth of the couple in the same sense..

Thus, when it comes to learned behaviors, such as not picking up the plate from the table or other household chores, We can talk to our partner and ask them to change their behavior or decide to do nothing and accept the situation.. On the other hand, if it is something that It’s part of his charactersuch as, for example, that our partner is shyer than us, We must accept that it is so. What we should never accept are those behaviors that attack our integrity, such as blows and insults, just like in any other type of relationship.

Healthy love is a problem of quality rather than quantity. Loving a lot does not mean loving well. Loving well involves respect, trust, honesty, mutual support, living a balanced relationship between giving and receiving, maintaining separate identities and good communication.

7 pillars on which healthy love is built

In summary, In a healthy relationship, a couple gives and receives mutually.:

1. Respect

Respect is the ability to see and accept the person as they are, being aware of their uniqueness. It is wanting to see how it develops according to its own desires and paths, and not according to our plans.

2. Trust

Trust in a couple consists of not having to check everything the other says or does, feel that we can trust each other to share both the good and the bad moments.

3. Honesty

It is important to be honest with ourselves about our feelings and be honest with each other. There cannot be an emotional exchange if there is no self-criticism. Is about be sure that our preferences, desires, dreams, desires and demands are reasonable and do not violate the rights of the couple.

4. Support

It is important to show yourself mutual support. Being able to differentiate our needs from the needs of others and allow them to grow personally and professionally.

5. Equality (balance between giving and receiving)

Both members of the couple have responsibility for the relationship and must take care of it. Reciprocity is the basis of a fair love, of healthy love. When we give love, we expect love, because emotional relationships are fueled by exchange. It is not about greed, but about reciprocal altruism: together we are more.

6. Own identity

It is important to maintain separate identities within the couple, where each member can maintain their own identity, their personality and everything that makes them who they are. Practicing responsible individualism, where each person keeps their self-love alive in the relationship they have chosen.; worrying about the couple, but also about ourselves. We are complete beings.

7. Good communication

Communication is key in any relationship. In a relationship, in which we aspire to achieve healthy love, it is essential to maintain good communication at all times in which the story fits, but also negotiation or gratitude.

A couple is made up of two people who must make joint decisions and who will not always share the same point of view.. In order to reach agreements it is necessary to dialogue calmly and with confidence.

These seven pillars may not ensure the future of a couple, but they will create the certainty that, as long as love exists, it will be healthy, worthy, fun and a source of growth and inspiration for the people who share it. What better than taking care of them?

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