The boundary between play and exaggeration: can children wear makeup?

It was supposed to be a family Sunday like any other, but nothing is “any” when Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are involved. During a religious celebration that featured a musical performance by Kanye, North West – the couple’s 5-year-old eldest daughter – appeared happily dancing. And wearing a red lipstick. See the video that Kim herself shared:

Her favorite part of the week is dancing during Sunday Service pic.twitter.com/yhiDhBqBY5

— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) March 17, 2019

It was enough for criticism to rain down along the lines of “Isn’t she a little young to wear makeup?”, “A child without makeup is so much prettier” and “Give me a break!”. Kim always defends herself by saying that North West only produces once in a while, respecting family rules. But regardless, is it really that bad for kids to wear makeup?

“Children like to put on makeup to imitate their mother or an adult they admire, like their teacher. It’s a fantasy, a make-believe game. They play at being princesses, heroines and grown-ups too. There is no problem with that,” says clinical psychologist Milena Brassell, who specializes in families.

Mônica Pessanha, psychoanalyst and psychopedagogue for children and teenagers, starts from the same line of reasoning and adds: “When they play, they don’t worry if the eyeshadow is smudged or if the lipstick matches the eyeshadow. Nothing will be perfect, just like a child’s thing. If they are worrying about it, then it is no longer a joke.”

The age at which this manifests itself depends on each child, but it is common for it to be in early childhood (up to 6 years old). It is worth remembering that none of this is a rule: many, in fact, do not show this desire at any time, which is also absolutely normal.

The negative consequences of overeating

So it is established that, if it is seen as a joke, the act of putting on makeup is harmless. But what if it isn’t? What if the child takes this seriously, seeking perfection and aesthetic approval that one would only expect in adolescence?

Well, then we enter the field of adulting the child, which is not cool or healthy. “We will have a child with the appearance of an adult and with a very exaggerated need for approval. When the child sees himself in the ‘obligation’ of always being produced, he tends to need that production more and more to feel loved”, says Mônica. “The perception of the body and the very distortion of it can come from this place of approval and love, because our self-image is built by what we receive from the world.”

Milena also observes that this adultization tends to lead to anticipation of other stages of life, including sexualization. “We see a lot of people complaining that girls want to wear miniskirts too early, that they are interested in ‘too adult’ music, in the sense of being really sexualized, at 8 or 9 years old. Even many mothers lament this in their own daughters. But you have to remember that these things don’t come out of nowhere: they were sown at some point back there, at the beginning of life, usually by a non-playful use of makeup and nail polish, “she warns.

I look alive, therefore! If you notice that your daughter up to 6 years old is exaggerating in the technique and in the concern with the makeup, it is good to sit down, talk and even veto the use of lipsticks and shadows for a while. Thus, she will have the chance to return to the concerns that are rightfully hers: playing and learning a lot.

The physical aspect of makeup for kids

If the psychological part of the use of makeup by children is under control and the whole thing is really just a game, pay attention to another very important aspect: the physical. Adult lipsticks, eye shadows and blushes tend to cause allergic reactions in little ones.

That’s because children’s skin tends to be thinner and more porous than adults’, which leads to absorbing products more. Allergic reactions to some chemicals can be serious.

Therefore, the SBD (Brazilian Society of Dermatology) recommends that mothers and fathers only allow the use of products developed especially for children. They are easily found in pharmacies and supermarkets throughout Brazil and make all the difference in the health of your daughters’ skin.