The 13 basic communication skills

You may think that communication skills are easy to master.. However, this is actually one of the most common barriers that the population presents: the difficulty in expressing oneself, in feeling skilled in one’s interpersonal relationships, where self-esteem and self-confidence should always go hand in hand to be able to move better in our day-to-day environments.

There are many who hold the opinion that these types of skills should be developed early in the school environment. Knowing how to argue, present without fear, speak assertively and respectfully, listen and even negotiate are key elements in a person’s life.

However, It is very common to experience this lack from the first moment we face a job interview.when we must carry out a group project or even when we must do an exhibition, conference or defense of a work during university.

Knowing the keys to communication skills and controlling them can not only help us open personal and professional doors. There is something even more important: We will be able to see ourselves better, we will have a more valid and positive perception of ourselves and that is something worth investing time and effort into.

13 communication skills you can develop

At Indiana University Bloomington, a study was conducted throughout 2012 that was later published in the Social and Behavioral Sciences. In it, it was detailed the great importance of transmitting to university students the set of basic communication skillsso that they could improve their academic career.

As we can deduce, it would be a priority for this series of competencies to be part of any school and university curriculum. At the end of the day, we are faced with that series of strategies that one is obliged to train in adult life.

Whatever the case, it must be said that we are always on time. Within coaching and therapeutic practice we undoubtedly find fabulous tools that expert professionals in this field can offer us.
Let’s see below what the 10 basic communication skills are.

1. Be direct

Always starting from respect for others, it is necessary to learn to express our ideas bluntly and clearly. This strategy undoubtedly requires a series of prior skills: being clear about what we are going to say, maintaining adequate emotional temperance, and trusting ourselves.

These three dimensions orchestrate by themselves an exceptional substrate to be more assertive, direct and effective when communicating.

2. Pay attention to your behavior

Maintain a good education whenever you canRemember that being educated opens many doors for us and is the best way to find our way in many social and work spaces. This implies, for example, learning to develop the following capabilities:

Know how to listen.Respect speaking turns.Show openness.Generate trust in others.Be correct at all times and do not lose your cool.Do not disqualify. Use rich language.

3. Assertiveness

Assertiveness is the cornerstone of basic communication skills. Knowing how to defend positions with respect, knowing how to present clearly, imposing ourselves without aggressiveness, delimiting positions, protecting our needs and ideas without others violating us… All these dimensions make up and define the assertive person.

As a curiosity, Northwestern University conducted a study trying to explore what type of language the general population used when making complaints and protests in the administration, businesses, centers, etc. Many of the people turned out to be more aggressive than assertive. A point without a doubt that we should all work on.

4. A positive mind

Have a positive approach to your reality and yourself. Put aside pessimism or those fears that often completely limit our communication, negotiation or arguments. If we focus on the barriers that separate us, on the idea that we will fail, that our ideas will not be attended to or that we will not achieve success in certain activities, we will never move forward.

Basic communication skills require self-confidence, good self-esteem and positive emotions, let’s not forget.

5. Openness and listening

The ability to listen to others can do wonders for your relationships. Being able to attend with openness, to open ourselves to others even though our positions are not the same, always ends up making things easier and allows us to reach small achievements and understandings.

6. Give value to your words

Make your communication interesting. If you are communicating verbally make pauses, inflections in your voice so that your dialogues are more interesting and do not bore your interlocutors. Give emphasis to your words. This is a strategy that is achieved over time as we feel more secure and comfortable with ourselves.

7. Use a visual support

When you communicate, use visual elements that serve to support what you are saying. This is very useful when we want to make a presentation to a class or audience.
Use images, videos, graphics and other visual elements that can help you. However, remember, sometimes supports like PowerPoint end up boring, therefore, do not rely exclusively on these supports and do a combination of them.

8. Send a clear message

This tip is similar to the first. It is good to be direct and clear in our messages. Avoid vocabulary that could confuse, avoid flourishes, meaningless detours, those arguments that go nowhere. Always adapt your vocabulary to your interlocutors; Remember that sometimes, simplicity is what has the greatest impact.

9. Anticipate

Read the possible reactions of your interlocutors but never assume what their reactions will be. Be prepared for any type of reaction and unexpected situation. This is something that we will also master over time, but whatever the case, it is positive and advisable that you always have some counterargument prepared, some idea or heuristic that allows you to get out of a complicated situation.

10. Be patient

Patience is an excellent virtue in terms of communication. If you rush things and feel frustrated because you don’t get the results you want, then your communication skills suffer. Be patient with others, if you need to go back and explain something, do it, if you have to do it twice do it, others will thank you.

11. Coherence between emotion and message

Another of the basic communication skills is to maintain a consistency between what is said and the way we convey the message. The latter includes everything from our gestures to voice modulation.

Inconsistencies in this area can generate confusion in our interlocutors and misunderstandings.. For example, if we want our interlocutors to trust our word, the least we can do is show anxiety with gestures such as: evasion of the gaze, constantly touching the nose while speaking, broken voice, use of fillers, etc.

12. Be empathetic

Empathy refers to ability to “put ourselves in someone else’s shoes” and understand their perspective without judging. Let us remember that each person lives and interprets the circumstances of life based on their point of view.

Therefore, We must be able to get out of our schemes and understand the emotions and thoughts of the other., even if we don’t agree. This does not mean that we change our perspective and adapt it to others; What it implies is that we are able to understand and respect other people’s points of view, and support them to the extent necessary.

For example, if a classmate feels upset because he or she failed an assessment that didn’t have much importance to us, the least we can do is tell him or her that there is no reason for him or her to feel bad. On the contrary, we must be able to understand his discomfort and support him so that he feels better.

13. Train the ability to resolve conflicts and negotiate

Finally, it is important to keep in mind that, In any relationship, it is normal for conflicts to arise. Therefore, learning to manage them and knowing how to negotiate possible solutions is vital for relationships to work.

A mistake that many people make is avoiding conflict and hoping that the situation will resolve itself. However, this only aggravates the problem and generates resentment between the parties involved.

Now, the ability to resolve conflicts efficiently requires Stay calm, respect others and avoid adopting a defensive posture. To do this, it is vital to learn to manage one’s own emotions and know how to communicate them without attacking or threatening others.

How to enhance our ability to communicate efficiently?

To conclude, we want to emphasize that Communication skills can be trained and enhanced through practiceas long as we take into account the aforementioned aspects.

In addition, Psychological assistance can be an excellent tool to develop those skills that are related to effective communication; such as: assertiveness, adequate management of social anxiety, the ability to resolve conflicts, among others.

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