What’s behind stubborn people?

Dealing with stubborn people can be challenging.. The possessor of the trait tends to establish large commitments with the ideas he adopts, building such high walls against others that are not aligned with the adopted ones that they end up losing, to a large extent, the wealth that emanates from the plurality of the world.

Not all stubborn people are the same. Within the dimension, there are those who take the cake and are willing to not move from the place even if all the evidence around them does nothing but advise it; Of course, before criticizing or throwing our hands at our heads, let us remember that, to a greater or lesser extent, we all experience, even if only due to cognitive biases, a resistance to change.. Whatever the case, difficulties in social relationships usually arise from a very marked tendency.

A common reason for stubbornness is cognitive economy, and another is insecurity (known bad things are better than uncertainty). On the other hand, they tend to develop such an attachment to the ideas they accept that they come to integrate them into their identity, feeling that when someone questions them they are also questioning them.

1. Pride, one of the traits of stubborn people

Stubborn people are not only stubborn because they are very attached to their beliefs, but also because It is very difficult for them to admit that they are wrong. or it bothers them to have to agree with someone else. That is the reason why many times they do not even pay attention to what is said to them, but rather refuse to listen.

For this type of people it is very important to show themselves as self-confident, competent and capable individuals. They believe that making a mistake weakens their image in the eyes of others. This has to do with pride and, many times, narcissism. The latter hides a weak self.

The best way to overcome this trait is to find a way to offer a decent exit.. The more they are attacked, the more stubborn their position will be. On the other hand, if you value what they say and highlight what is reasonable in it, but at the same time offer another perspective as a way to complement their ideas, it is possible that they will react positively.

Stubborn people are usually very proud, so they do not usually admit their mistakes.

2. They give more importance to ideal models than to reality

Stubborn people often compare reality with the ideal models. As is obvious, imperfect reality always ends up losing against these non-existent schemes. However, they insist on questioning that reality because it does not fit the model and this serves as a pretext for them to stick to their guns.

This trait leads them to enter into many Byzantine discussions, which have no end. One way or another, They will always be right in that area, because reality will never reach the perfection of the model.. Thus, if the discussion revolves around a measure to alleviate world hunger, they will say that it is not enough to eradicate that problem completely. And so with all topics.

In discussions like this or in situations that suggest this logic, The best option is to try to introduce some doubt, through questions. What would then be the correct measure to reach that ideal situation? Isn’t it progress that something is done about it, even if it is not “ideal”? They may not admit that the other may be right, but it is possible for them to moderate his stubbornness.

Stubborn people always want to be right, which makes it impossible to talk to them from other points of view.

3. They are given to building prejudices, even very reasonable ones in appearance.

Another trait of stubborn people is their resistance to questioning their beliefs, even if there are very strong arguments or evidence against them. The usual thing is that They refuse to consult sources that contradict them or that disqualify said sources, without hardly consulting them..

You could say that Stubborn people make prejudice a habitual way of thinking. They have the result before having carried out the process, that is, they have the answer before having carried out the reflection. The usual thing is that they provide these prejudices with a large number of supposed reasons that support them, even if they are weak.

Given this attitude, the most appropriate thing is to respond with respect and empathy.. It is not advisable to enter into personal attacks, nor contradict the belief head-on. With peace of mind, you can present another point of view and clarify that it is not necessary for the other to adopt it, but that it is beneficial to know it.

It should not be forgotten that stubborn people also have a very positive side. This stubbornness makes them more perseverant than average and better equipped for great challenges.. They are rich and complex human beings who can also contribute a lot to achieving goals with their stubbornness.

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