Teenage romance that 40 years later became a marriage

“I met Paulo when I was 15 years old, in Porto Alegre. We were in the same group of friends, we went to the same club and the same parties. He was older, he was 18 years old. He was good at talking, handsome and only dated pretty girls. I thought it was too much sand for my little truck, but we ended up having a teenage love affair. Nothing serious. After six years, Paulo moved to Salvador. On the few occasions he returned to Porto Alegre, we met, but always accompanied by friends and even his partner at the time. When I studied architecture, I met my first serious boyfriend. The relationship lasted four years and, in 1980, we had Diego, my first child. We were a quiet, hippie-ish couple. We lived together in Rio de Janeiro, where he found a job, then we opened a restaurant in Florianópolis and stayed there for two years. Over time, the relationship became strained and, one day, it simply ended. I went back with Diego to Porto Alegre and finished college. I worked for two years as an architect, until I changed areas: I got involved with films and social projects.

This new career took me to Olinda, where I was going to start on an independent television channel. I packed my bags, put Diego in our VW and off we went towards a new phase of life. On the way, we would pass through Salvador, and I remembered that Paulo lived there. I called to arrange a meeting. When I got to his house, I was scared. He was all bruised up as he had been in a motorcycle accident. I was only going to stay a weekend, but it turned into a month. I’ve always been very supportive, and with a handsome man like that, it wouldn’t be a difficult task to extend my stay to look after him. It didn’t take long for us to start dating again. The best part is that Diego loved Paulo. That was a very pleasant time, although I knew that nothing more serious would happen and I didn’t have any expectations. When I couldn’t postpone my work any longer, I went to Olinda. I stayed there two years. During that time, Paulo and I met many times and continued our relationship. Until, once again determined to change my professional path, I went to São Paulo, opened a photography agency and we distanced ourselves. Our moment had not yet come. We were focused on the career and each one continued his way.

At work, I met a photographer who later became my boyfriend. We moved in together and had a son, Pedro, now 19 years old. In total, there were 17 years of companionship. In 2004, I decided to go back to working on social projects and started to travel frequently to Africa. I was 100% involved in it, as I was fascinated by the culture and people of that continent. My relationship suffered from it. My values ​​and his began to differentiate and we were moving further and further away. There was a moment when there was no longer any connection. Even so, our relationship continued for another three years. It was for Pedro, who was a teenager and suffered a lot with the idea of ​​his parents separating. I held on as long as I could, but one day I had to put an end to it.

I started to work even harder, putting body and soul into the social project, which I expanded to other places. I traveled all over the world and, in the places where I went, I had many boyfriends and crushes. But nothing was lasting. I didn’t commit to anyone for a long time. In fact, I didn’t expect to have another serious relationship anymore. All that time, though, I thought about Paulo. I knew through friends that he was married with two children. I was happy for him, but I missed him: I wanted to see him, talk, tell him about my life. I never went after it, because I thought it would get in the way and mess up his routine. So I’ve been to Salvador many times, although I’ve never tried to find it.

Seven years after I broke up, I found Paulo on Facebook. I wasn’t really into this social media thing, but I started a profile because it seemed essential for my work. When I found him, I decided to send him a message. It took over a month for me to receive a response. I had already completely let go when a message arrived from him. Afterwards, Paulo told me that he barely got on Facebook and that, when he saw my name, he didn’t even recognize me, because he had been used to calling me by my nickname since I was young: Mecca. One day, out of curiosity, he decided to open my photos and saw that it was me. He responded to my message right away. I couldn’t hide my excitement. The feeling came back with everything at the time and it was intense, as if our entire history had been rescued in that instant. We texted for two weeks straight. Then we started calling each other frequently. We spent hours on the phone like teenagers. I like to think that we were open to new emotional opportunities and that’s why it happened like this. It was all very unexpected. Of course, at the very beginning, I was afraid that we would not be able to adapt our respective routines to be together. I was totally insecure about a new relationship. Even so, I surrendered. We set up a date for my birthday in November. I dismissed all my friends and prepared a guest room for Paulo. When he arrived, we found ourselves alone for the first time in 26 years. He was so nervous… Since their breakup 12 years ago, he hadn’t had anyone. He had a few shots of whiskey to relax. I was also agitated. There was so much anxiety… But, finally, we were there, in complete harmony. We agreed that the two of us would enjoy three days, but that wasn’t enough. We wanted to make up for lost time.

He only left 21 days later. Since then, we have traveled to meet as often as possible. At least for the time being, we have decided that we are not going to live together, as each of us already has our own structured lives – me in São Paulo, him in Salvador. Also, I still travel a lot because of work. What attracts me most about Paulo is his lightness. He is very funny. My previous relationships were very complicated. Deep down, I wanted someone like Paulo, who makes me feel happy and safe. He is good, ethical and cares about his social role. At Christmas, we went to visit my eldest son, who lives in Chapada Diamantina (BA). Paulo hadn’t seen Diego since that time in Olinda, 26 years ago. When I told my son that we had found each other again, he laughed and said he remembered everything from that time, even the name of Paulo’s dog. We traveled with my youngest and Paulo’s eldest son. On the occasion, Paulo also met Diego’s son, my first grandson, Theo, 6 months old.

I don’t believe in destiny, but I think good things happen when we are open to new experiences. And I know there is a right time for everything. So much so that life waited for us, for our maturity. After so many disagreements, we are together! It’s crazy: I went around the world and fell in love with a man I’ve known for 40 years. I want to grow old with him. I’m loving living this new beginning and my feeling is that we still have a lot ahead of us. Today, between us, everything is more intense and better: sex, companionship, conversations, laughter… With Paulo by my side, I know that everything will work out.”