Take your time to embrace your wounds and heal

Don’t worry if you can’t do everything today, it’s okay if you can’t get up yet: take your time. Don’t forget that people who are broken have loose pieces of life that can be infected, and that all of that hurts when walking, breathing and even thinking. Rest, start grieving, embrace your wounds, because little by little you will feel your body lighter and your mind stronger…

Albert Ellis used to comment that one of the automatisms we put into practice every time we suffer a disappointment, a loss or a traumatic event is to blame ourselves. What’s more, what we often do It is projecting on us a certain “contempt” for not being able to handle our lives, for not finding enough courage to get up in the morning, the courage to face certain situations and circumstances.

It’s as if we wanted to run after having sprained ourselves. We get angry for feeling pain and for not being able to go as fast as our mind wants.. We overlook that there is an injury in that foot that must be treated, that we need rest, treatment and, above all, be aware that for a time, we will not be able to walk, much less run…

Take your time, but make good use of that time

Take your time, what you need and not what others tell you. Because each one has their own rhythm, each one needs their guidelines, their strategies, their internal awakenings and those external aids to adhere to and work on daily. Understanding this is essential because Today, whether we like it or not, we assume certain erroneous ideas that prevent us from shaping an authentic healing process.

As explained to us in an interesting work published in the journal “Perspectives on Psychological Science”, in recent years The idea that people are resilient by nature has become popular. We are often told that time heals everything, and that we just have to let our brain act, allowing little by little that inner strength to emerge with which to dissolve every stressor, with which to overcome every adverse situation.

It’s a mistake. Time by itself does not heal nor do we have an autopilot capable of activating to guide us along the path of resilience.. Thus, something that the researchers of this work tell us is that assuming this type of ideas places us in a scenario of authentic psychological passivity, sinking us irremediably in quicksand where we wait for a healing that never happens.

Ideas that we should stop believing about psychological healing

Popular psychology, as well as certain spiritual aspects, tend to give rise to erroneous beliefs that are very far from what research really says. Assuming many of these concepts can hinder our psychological healing, and therefore it is necessary to keep some of these false myths in mind. They are the following.

Time heals everything (fake) ⇔ Heal what we do during that time.All grief lasts three months (false) ⇔ Each person needs a certain amount of time to deal with a loss or a romantic breakup.Strong people can do everything (fake) ⇔ What do we understand by strong people? Labeling a person as “strong” from the outside can force them to feel better as soon as possible and that is dangerous.We are all resilient (fake) ⇔ Resilience is worked on, developed, refined and individualized based on our characteristics and needs. It is not a spontaneous awakening, it is a craft that one must learn and put into practice on a daily basis and not only in the most needy moments.

Take your time to hibernate, your time to heal

We said it at the beginning taking Albert Ellis as a reference: People get angry with themselves for not healing soon., for not running as fast as we would like, for not being able to be the same as always. If so, it is because we live in a world where we are urged to always be good, always functional, to sell an image of pristine and dazzling happiness.

However, life does not come with Instagram filters, we cannot improve our mood with a single “click”. Such a task requires time and work and above all an intentional approach. Therefore, Let’s describe two simple strategies to achieve this.

Take your time to hibernate. It is not about sleeping and remaining isolated, but about applying one of the advantages of this physiological process that hibernating animals put into practice: conserving energy. If your body can’t take it anymore, if your mind is exhausted, rest, stop prioritizing others, put aside the external noise to attend to your internal needs.

Take your time to heal. The one you need and not the one others tell you. Understand that healing is not a journey with a departure date and arrival date, it is a process, a walk without comforts. where we do not have to look at the landscape or what surrounds us: the gaze is placed on our own being.

Last, but not least, we cannot forget that in this healing process it is good not to give up the company; You have to choose good travel companions. Choosing a good professional to guide us in this process will make it easierand it will help us understand that before running free, once again, we must learn to walk again.

Achieving it is possible, achieving it will take time, but we will reach that goal.

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