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Shout and ask not to be yelled at

Shouting and asking not to be shouted at constitutes a contradiction in itself. Shouts attack and disturb those who receive them, but they also blur and rob reason from the speech of those who use them.

You have every right to ask not to be yelled at. The only precondition for demanding it is that you do not shout at others, since otherwise there is no point in making that demand.. In everyday life it is not uncommon to see those who, in the middle of an argument, respond with a shout to another shout, escalating the volume of the conversation.

Most people will have to encounter someone who is irascible and uncontrolled from time to time. It is a great challenge, especially when that someone is the boss, a co-worker or even the same partner. The biggest challenge is not allowing them to drag you into their lack of inhibition, but this is not easy at all.

Screaming is a very difficult signal to suppress, because it is offensive and easily disruptive. To ask that they not yell at you, the secret is precisely in learning to react to this type of aggression. In the same way, if you are part of the “yeller group,” you will have little authority to demand that others not do the same to you.

“Men scream so as not to hear each other.” .

-Miguel de Unamuno-

Shouting as a means of expression

Yelling is an act that has no use beyond intimidating or expressing anger. . Anger is the main driver of screaming. On the other hand, this way of expressing it denotes little control.

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There are many commonplaces and clichés that attempt to justify shouting. . “I scream because you don’t listen to me,” some say. “It seems like you only understand shouting,” others say. Like these, there are many other stereotyped language formulas that aim to provide rational support for the irrational act of shouting.

Screaming only indicates that there is emotional instability in the person who raises the volume of their voice. He shouts because he wants to appear stronger than he is and tries to exert control over the situation. However, what he shows is that he does not have enough control even over himself.

The reasons why people scream

People also scream when they feel scared or cornered and attack to defend themselves. The threat can be real or imaginary. Many times it only exists because the insecurities This is how they determine it. When you are very dependent on other people’s approval, or very sensitive to criticism, for example, any gesture can be interpreted as latent aggression that must be responded to.

Another reason why people shout is simple habit. . Those who, for example, have been raised to shout, internalize this as a “normal” form of communication in their lives. So when faced with any setback or frustration, he ends up shouting to express his confusion or discomfort.

On the other hand, There are people who develop aggressive tendencies , either because of a poorly channeled temperament, or because they go through situations that overwhelm them. In these cases, they will not only make screaming a habitual mechanism, but they will also regularly show hostility and outbursts of anger.

Ask them not to yell at you

Often, those who raise their voices receive exactly the same thing in return. In this the uselessness of shouting is clearly demonstrated; in fact, not only its uselessness, but also its highly harmful effect on communication and human relationships. Asking not to be yelled at is a right that you conquer and defend. To do this, you need to start with yourself.

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In power relations, a pattern of behavior is very frequently observed according to which The superior, apparently, has the right to shout, but whoever is subject to his dominion does not . It is seen between parents and children, teachers and students, bosses and employees, and even in couples who build asymmetrical power schemes.

It is in these scenarios, where there is a vertical and severe power, that the pattern of shouting and asking not to be shouted at is most frequently forged. The mother yells at her son, but she sees it as disrespectful to receive the same volume in return. It is alleged that there is a hierarchy and that it must be respected, which is true; but the fact that authority is born from coherence and example is left aside.

The mother, teacher, boss, or spouse can get away with yelling. They end up intimidating or inhibiting the other, but also sowing the seeds of lack of respect. . Whoever says one thing and does another does not generate respect; the one who is out of control and asks you for control. Screaming does nothing and, although we all fall into the temptation of raising the volume of our voice from time to time, that doesn’t make it any less of an error.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Shelton, N., & Burton, S. (2004). Assertiveness. Make your voice heard without shouting. FC Editorial.

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