My partner keeps memories of his ex

Fact Checked

Under review

Knowing that our partner keeps objects and memories from their previous relationship can raise doubts. The question is, what can we do in this situation?

Maybe you are reading this article because you have seen that your partner keeps memories of his ex.. You may be asking yourself questions like: Is it appropriate for my partner to keep items and gifts from his ex? Does it mean you still have feelings for him or her? Should I ask you to get rid of those items?

In this article we are going to explore these types of concerns, trying to help you know what is happening.

Is it normal for your partner to keep memories of his or her ex?

To begin with, there are several reasons that can explain why someone would keep memories of their ex.. Each person is different and, therefore, the way in which relationships are built and ended is also different. This makes the reasons that lead someone to keep objects from their previous relationship different and sometimes difficult to understand.

Human beings can develop a certain attachment to certain objects. Whether because of their usefulness, their beauty or because they allow us to re-inhabit the past and become external support for our memory, in any case, we live surrounded by things.

Of course, not all objects have the same value nor do we keep them for the same reasons. So, in the case of those memories that your partner keeps of his ex, All the factors that may be involved in this behavior should be taken into account.

Read Also: The worlds of Coraline, the search for perfection

For example, factors such as personal history, the particular history of the relationship, the reasons for the breakup and the way in which it occurred can influence the desire to keep or not keep objects and memories.

On the other hand, the characteristics of the objects, their quality or their useful life may also have influenced your partner’s decision to keep a particular thing. Perhaps, by evaluating these points you can understand your partner’s motivations for keeping that gift he received from his ex at home.

This situation bothers me, what can I do?

Even so, you may find this situation uncomfortable and want to resolve it with your partner. First of all, It is important that you express your emotions and your doubts..

Although it is normal to experience these types of insecurities, it is also necessary to identify where they come from. That is, it is possible that you already distrust your partner and the fact that he keeps objects from a previous relationship is one more drop in the camel’s back.

Perhaps a person feels that they can keep memories of their ex because they no longer cause pain or they may precisely keep these objects because they have not been able to close the cycle. In any case, you may need to clarify this question.

However, keep in mind that, in the end, it is his decision and, even if it makes you uncomfortable, you cannot force him to change it. In other words, The idea is not to force your partner to erase any trace of their emotional past. His past has made him the person he is. You could maybe even start to give more importance to the memories he is making with you in this new relationship.

Read Also: Existential crisis: if you don't find the right path, look within yourself

Keep in mind that the most important thing is how the situation makes you feel and the receptivity you find in your partner to express your concerns.

The importance of closing cycles

Finally, we cannot forget the importance of closing cycles. Avoiding emotional attachment and overcoming our breakups in a healthy and responsible way will allow us to build positive bonds in the future..

We may be afraid of starting a new relationship or fear suffering a new disappointment, however, it is not advisable for us to hold on to things from the past. This is essential before starting new emotional relationships. Starting a relationship without having overcome the previous one can be very painful for all parties.

Added to this, In this process of closing stages, the support of family and a group of friends will be essential. Creating spaces in which it is possible to talk about the breakup will be of great help to understand and accept it.

Likewise, it may be important to receive professional help. Psychological support can be very useful to experience grieving processes that result in our personal growth.