Satisfaction, the emotion your brain likes least

When was the last time you felt satisfied? To find it you may have to search thoroughly in the drawers of your memory. After all, it usually takes us a long time to reach that peak point where we feel that everything is going the way we want.

Are we masochists? Absolutely. What happens is that the brain is not programmed to experience satisfaction as many times as we would like. The fact that this is so is not a bug, nor is it some kind of Trojan horse that is embedded in our genetic code. Researchers have discovered that when we feel satisfied, we stop seeking improvements and more benefits. In other words, we become complacent and less creative.

What is, without a doubt, the most full, intense and extraordinary emotion on the human palette is curiously the one that is most forbidden to us. This explains, for example, why we obsess over perfection, why we suffer from imposter syndrome, or why we are rarely happy with everything we do. We always feel that almost innate need to “improve ourselves”, to do a little better…

Satisfaction is that Holy Grail for which we fight every day and which we so rarely achieve.

Satisfaction is the most powerful emotion, but also the least frequent in our personal record.

Satisfaction, the first cousin of happiness

Satisfaction is wanting to achieve something and getting it. Satisfaction is finding that, suddenly, each and every one of your expectations are met. The satisfied person vibrates, lights up with joy and well-being because they feel good with what they have achieved or with what surrounds them.. There is not a single fissure through which a defect, the streak of discomfort or the cold of restlessness, slips through.

It is true that, in our daily lives, we experience that set of momentary satisfactions that, in some way, give us a certain joy and sense of balance. We like, for example, that our coffee maker works well and gives us extraordinary coffee every day. We are pleased to keep our jobs, share time with friends and that our children are healthy, laugh and enjoy themselves.

So, Many could deduce that satisfaction and happiness are two sides of the same coin.. However, they are different, although like first cousins ​​they complement each other.

We can define satisfaction as that cognitive evaluation that we make when verifying that a specific dimension fits our desires and expectations. Happiness is an intense, punctual emotional experience that is much more fleeting than satisfaction.

It is better to feel satisfied than happy

Our goal in life should not be to “be happy,” but to feel satisfied with ourselves; with the life we ​​have. This conception is what would build the foundations of authentic psychological well-being. This message is what psychologist and Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman offers in some of his and podcasts.

Many times we place our attention on goals such as having a good job with high income only to discover later that none of this makes us truly happy. Something goes wrong and the loose piece is our focus. Satisfaction is the most rewarding emotion and the one that can offer us a more lasting feeling of positivity.

The problem is that It’s not that easy for most of us to feel truly satisfied with something. We are very demanding and, sometimes, we even seek satisfaction in the wrong areas, in territories that feed anxiety more than calm.

As experts tell us, feeling eternally satisfied is not good for our species. Because it takes away our potential.

Why is it so difficult for us to feel satisfied?

It would be fabulous to be able to enjoy satisfaction in every moment of our daily lives. However, The brain is not programmed so that we feel satisfied: it prefers that we continue developing behaviors of effort and improvement. This is what a study published in Review of General Psychology.

Our ancestors were those individuals forced to overcome a thousand and one difficulties, dozens of challenges and transform environments to guarantee survival. If they had been satisfied living inside a cave, hunting and gathering seeds, we probably wouldn’t be where we are now.

Human beings will never feel 100% satisfied because they need more incentives to continue advancing and improving.. Added to this is another characteristic that is very much ours, and that is the negativity bias. The mind is naturally focused on paying attention to the negative and not so much to the positive. This allows us to anticipate risks and always be devising strategies to contain any threat.

The cost of all these biases often translates into an excessive burden of anxiety that we are forced to deal with.

How to find well-being in the midst of our tendency towards dissatisfaction?

Dissatisfaction favors the development of our species. Therefore, if we never experienced this kind of uncomfortable and annoying puncture, we would be at a disadvantage compared to others. We wouldn’t try hard, we would give up at the first try. Although the key is to achieve a balance.

The most important thing is to feel satisfied with the life we ​​have. Broadly speaking, it is good to feel that what we are and what we have is good and is enough. It is true that not everything is as perfect as a fairy tale and that there are aspects in which we must work a little more.

Beyond this general level, the dissatisfaction generated by day-to-day dynamics would be more tolerable.

It is also legitimate to perceive that we still have a lot to learn, that we still feel dissatisfied with ourselves, because there are infinite things to discover, to improve and to know. That shadow of discomfort is what will allow us, at some point, to reach our best version.. Of course, after investing effort and work.

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