Should we keep our enemies close?

Sometimes those we consider enemies are nothing more than the reflection of our aspects to be healed. Keeping them close can be a valuable opportunity for self-discovery.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Surely many of us remember the famous phrase that states that we must keep our enemies close.” This statement will go down in posterity through the well-known film The Godfather holds a valuable message. Evidently We have to decontextualize it and limit the meaning of “enemy” so that it can make some sense in our lives.

In our daily lives we can come to perceive various people as enemies for different reasons. We do not talk about those who deliberately and continually harm us, since it is better to stay away from these people for mere self-care. We refer to those individuals who arouse certain rejection or antipathy in us without an apparent compelling reason.

We may justify our animosity toward them by claiming that they are egomaniacs, rude, ignorant, fake, or any other adjective. But The reality is that from all people and experiences we can extract learning about ourselves.

Others are our mirrors

You have to keep in mind that the person you dislike could be someone’s husband or best friend. And this happens because each person sees different aspects projected onto the same person. All our interpersonal relationships work like mirrors, they show us aspects of our own personality. And the reflection is clearer and sharper the more intense the feeling, whether for better or worse.

Read Also: The INFJ personality, the most peculiar according to Carl Jung

The people you love and with whom you feel a greater affinity probably show you the kinder side of yourself, your virtues. On the contrary, Your enemies bring to light your shadows, your resistances, those aspects that you must work on in yourself no matter how unpleasant they may seem to you..

But to take this valuable opportunity to know ourselves and improve ourselves we have to keep an open mind and be humble and sincere with ourselves. First of all, ask yourself: what bothers me about this person? Write it down.

What’s in me?

Then ask yourself the question: what part of that is in me? How does that relate to me?. You may find a person especially unpleasant because he or she is boastful, brash, or self-centered. You will think then: “it has nothing to do with me, I am a kind, polite and respectful person.”

Well, it may be precisely the reflection of that person that you dislike so much because it reflects a side of your personality that you do not allow to come out. Maybe you are excessively rigid, restrained and formal. Maybe you don’t have enough self-confidence to act in a more free and uninhibited way. And the rejection that that person generates in you is the signal for you to analyze that aspect.

On the other hand, you may feel animosity towards that co-worker who always leads and calls the shots. One who appears dominant and does not take into account the opinions and needs of others. So, consider in which situations in your life you are acting the same. You may be very different from this individual in the workplace, but perhaps in your relationship or with your friends you are equally authoritarian and not very empathetic..

Read Also: The female archetypes, according to Greek mythology

Keep our enemies close to evolve

This may all sound crazy to you at first, but If you adopt the habit of analyzing these situations carefully, you will begin to obtain valuable information. that will make a lot of sense. That is why we need to keep our enemies close, because they can serve as inspiration and learning for us.

You don’t need to become boastful, but maybe you need to work on your self-confidence.. Likewise, perhaps you should review the way you treat the people around you in case your behavior resembles that of that enemy you reject so much.

When you encounter someone who moves you internally, even in a negative way, don’t run away. Don’t react uncontrollably either. with hatred and resentment. Instead, stop for a moment and analyze what the situation is teaching you. When you begin to work on these aspects in yourself, when you begin to shed light on your darkness, the rejection of others will decrease significantly.

Well, finally we do not see reality as it is, but as we are. We do not see in others what they are, but rather what we project onto them. Let’s take the opportunity to grow through our enemies.

Image courtesy of Jhon Finn