Victim, persecutor and savior: three existential positions

The psychologist Stephen Karpman was the one who postulated the idea that In non-genuine human relationships, manipulation mechanisms that he called “control games” are frequently installed.. In them, those involved end up basically adopting three roles or existential positions: victim, persecutor and savior.

These existential postures are typical of human relationships that lack authenticity. There is not a bond based on truth, but, precisely, on a mutual “game of control.” It prevents us from seeing who we really are and who others are. Victim, persecutor and savior are masks to cover up our desire not to grow.

Definitions of victim, persecutor and rescuer

Each of the existential positions, according to Karpman has some characteristic features. In this way, victim, persecutor and rescuer show more or less stable patterns of behavior, which, as said before, do not eliminate the fact that they can be exchanged with each other. The characteristics of each of them are the following:

Victim. It corresponds to those who relate to others adopting a helpless attitude. They don’t know, they can’t, they don’t achieve. They look for others to help them or support them, but at the same time they complain about their condition. They put their responsibilities on the shoulders of others.Persecutor. The persecutor is the one who remains aloof from situations, at least in appearance. Their thing is to judge others, which they do with extreme severity. They point out everyone’s mistakes and enjoy, in some way, generating emotional suffering in others.savior. It has to do with the attitude that is characterized by taking on one’s shoulders the responsibilities that belong to others. They offer false help, since their contribution does not make others grow, but, on the contrary, encourages dependency.

a dramatic triangle

Victim, persecutor and savior are masks with different facets. The victim, for example, may manipulate and to take advantage of others, protected by their supposed helplessness. At the same time, she nurtures her feelings of worthlessness and his insecurity. He thinks that because he is someone lacking, he deserves unconditional understanding. He easily becomes an aggressor.

The persecutor, for his part, pours out his own frustrations on others.. He seeks others to grant him a certain authority or relevance by establishing himself as judge and party. Learn to make yourself visible to others through their cruelties and intimidation. In general, they are very cowardly when it comes to facing their fears.

The savior, who seems to be the nicest of the triad, needs to be needed. However, his help is not disinterested.. He also feels insignificant and seeks to make others depend on him to feel recognized or gain the affection of others. However, he complains because he sometimes feels exploited. He easily slips into the position of victim.

Exit control games

Although the “game” of control between victim, persecutor and rescuer tends to become a structured situation, it can also be broken out of.. Obviously it requires honesty with oneself and a desire to have more genuine bonds with others. There are ways to transform the three dramatic roles into healthier attitudes. Let’s see:

From saving to providing empathetic collaboration. It is not about carrying the problems of others, but about being able to recognize one’s own shortcomings and difficulties and help that person, on his or her own, overcome them. May he acquire greater confidence and autonomy instead of giving it up.From pursuing to promoting assertiveness. What the persecutor lacks is to stop looking so much at others and turn his gaze towards himself. He can be an example of autonomy, to the extent that he has a seed of assertiveness. He knows how to set limits, although he is not so good at respecting the limits that others set.From victimization to responsibility. Instead of waiting to be rescued, the victim should focus on fully assuming what is their responsibility. She may need help, but she should not ask for it unlimitedly and unconditionally. First he must help himself.

The three existential positions give rise to what is called “Karpman’s dramatic triangle.” It is a triangle, because the three vertices that make it up, that is, victim, persecutor and savior, are closely linked to each other. The one does not exist without the other. Additionally, roles can be exchanged. . Thus, the victim begins to pursue, the pursuer to save, the savior to pursue, etc.

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